


An Incomplete Solution

by Elvana



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Ive been thinking about this idea for years, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, They're both just kids trying their best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-07-23 13:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvana/pseuds/Elvana
Summary: They say no plan ever survives contact with an enemy. What about contact with a friend?What if Ahsoka had discovered Barriss' plan before she had a chance to carry it out? Will she try to stop her? Or will she turn her in? Can Barriss even be saved, or is it too late?





	1. Chapter 1

The communicator rang for three long buzzes before she heard the telltale click of someone answering at the other end.

“Don’t be mad!” She blurted out, before he could say anything.

Ahsoka heard a sigh rattling through the speaker and could picture the _exact_ pinchy nose thing that Anakin was doing right this second, in perfect imitation of Obi-Wan.

“Ahsoka, what…” Another sigh. “What have you done now?”

His voice was a little low and rasped from being woken up, laced with the exasperation he was probably feeling. Ahsoka vaulted over a railing. Landing was a little tricky without the use of her other hand, but she managed to keep her temporary charges stable. The voices behind her were still getting closer. There were a few directions available, and she quickly scanned them, hoping to get some miraculous inspiration about where she should head next. She picked an alley at random and took off running, clutching the eggs close to her chest.

“C’mon Master, do I really have to go into this _right now?_ I’m being shot at!”

As if on cue, blaster fire whizzed past her leku. The smell of burnt metal began to fill the air. An old man jumped back into the doorway he was sat in, a half finished death stick dropping to the floor. Ahsoka slid under a steaming vent, and dodged her way past a neon-bright sign which exploded seconds later. Ahsoka really wished her lightsaber was working. Or that she still had it.

Anakin was gonna kill her. Again.

“Do you want my help or not, Snips? Now tell me what happened, or…or I don't know, something bad! Just tell me!”

Ahsoka whipped round a corner into a group of kids squatting on some steps, their attention drawn by the sounds of gunfire. 

Ahsoka’s cry of “Gangsters!” was all it took for the youths to scramble away into the relative shelter of the closest hab.

“'Gangsters’ isn't an explanation, young one!”

Ahsoka could not have rolled her eyes harder at that. Anakin only used ‘young one’ when he was trying to seem older and wiser than he actually was.

“Well it all started, oh humble and great Master, when you assigned me three days of meditation in the temple. Oh course that lasted about–”

“Oh so now it's all my fault! And that was more of a guideline anyway–”

“–wouldn't answer my comms, of course, because they're all busy. I was just so bored Anakin! You have no idea, it was–”

“–wanted to help you relax! We've got weeks without any war assignments and I just hoped to get you in the mindset–”

“–and at first it was great! Fresh air...sort of? I went to some markets on the lower levels, even found this awesome little–”

“–wonder if you really care, Snips. It's like you want to get into trouble or something–”

“–and I couldn't just leave them! I'm not heartless! But I may have slightly, accidentally tripped a minor alarm–”

“–and I bet, oh I just bet, that you haven't got your lightsaber for what, the fifth–”

“–so what if I'm slightly lost. There’s thousands of levels, it's really hard to navigate whilst running from–”

“ENOUGH!” 

A third voice rang out, silencing the incoherent squabble between master and padawan. Padmé was instantly recognisable, and she was not happy. Ahsoka couldn’t help but wince.

“I'm trying to sleep, and you two are giving me such a headache.”

Ahsoka ducked under a mass of metal and electronics and ran low along the wall to avoid the continued gunfire.

“Shh! Padmé be quiet–” Anakin said hastily to try and cover up his secret.

“Oh please, Anakin, she’s a very smart young woman. As if she doesn't know already, right Ahsoka?”

“Um, kind of? Sorry Master.” She had indeed noticed all the secret rendezvous that Anakin got up to whenever they got back to Coruscant. Master Anakin was not very subtle.

All she could hear from Anakin was a prolonged groan in response.

“If this is how you act on missions it's a miracle that you're both still alive. Now hand me the communicator, Ani, you're not very good at this.”

Ahsoka stifled a snort at the nickname and instead looked for ways out of her current location. Preferably ones that wouldn't lead to an untimely demise.

“Where are you right now?” Padmé asked in a more measured, patient tone.

“Somewhere on Level 298...6? I think? A residential section near the spacedocks closest to the Senate.”

“Oh yes, I think I know. Hang on a moment, Ahsoka.”

Ahsoka used the force to trip a few of her pursuers up at once and taking advantage of the distraction to get away from them down another side street. A minute later, Padmé was back in her ear.

“OK, I've plotted a path that shouldn’t be too difficult for you, but very hard for any non-Jedi to follow. I’m pinging it to your system now.”

“Wow...thanks! How did you…?”

“What, I can't have fun because I'm an adult?” Padmé laughed. “Besides, you have no idea how long committee meetings are. I have to find something to occupy my time! Now please, stay safe out there, OK?”

“...Sure thing, Padmé.”

Anakin took back the line.

“Seriously Ahsoka, if Padmé’s plan doesn’t work– Ow! Hey, I said _if_ , not _when!_ Look, if it _does_ get bad, just call me again and I’ll come help you out. But...I believe in you. I think you can handle it. Yeah...I really am...uh...proud–”

“Master, not that this isn’t touching and all, but I’m still kind of under fire. Can we please pick this up tomorrow?”

Anakin let out a soft, endeared chuckle.

“See you soon, Snips.”

The line clicked off, and Ahsoka studied the map as closely as she could whilst still protecting herself and the eggs from the blasters.

Yeah, she could do this.

**—**

With Padmé’s help, escaping had been a lot less stressful than the rest of the evening. She’d made it out with only a few minor scrapes, scratches and burns to show for it. The tearful reunion of mother and eggs had definitely been worth it. She departed their home, with the solemn promise of protection fresh on her lips. The loss of a lightsaber wasn't so big, and she still had the crystal. Anakin had made her assemble and disassemble her casing so many times, she could do it in a heartbeat. And he also made sure she kept spare parts to construct another after the third time she'd lost it.

With a much clearer idea of where she was, she started making her way through the crowds towards the Temple. The markets were packed, even at this time of night, swarming with the sights and sounds of a thousand different species. Ahsoka adored the mingling hordes of people coexisting, and the togruta in her appreciated the warm bodies pressed together, a comfort after the excitement of her escapade. Her species were known for their love of intimacy and togetherness. Touching was near constant for togruta children, slowly becoming more independent as they grew until they could be away from others for most of the time. It was still nice though. When she was still an infant, scared and distressed from being separated from her family, Shaak Ti had taken it upon herself to soothe her. For the first few years of her life, she left Master Ti only to sleep. The memories filled Ahsoka with a comforting nostalgia, but tinged with the melancholy of a life lost and a family unknown.

She passed a food vendor, wavering only for a second before buying a large helping of a strange variety of glutinous dumplings, with a strong caf to wash it down. The strong flavours were bitter and sweet in her mouth, swirling in a beautiful contrast. Upper level food just couldn’t compete with the sublime pleasures of street food. No wonder the politicians and admirals were grumpy all the time.

With her stomach warmed and heart relaxed, she almost missed it. Sauntering along the metallic walkways, she felt a disturbance in the air around her. A flicker in the Force overwhelmed her mind for just a moment before disappearing as as rapidly as it had arrived. She shook her head and strained herself to feel the area, to notice any discrepancies. 

Nothing. 

Well not nothing, with the Force there was always something, no matter where you were in the galaxy. Just nothing that seemed particularly out of the ordinary. Certainly not anything that matched the strength of what she had just felt.

She was about to dismiss it as a remnant of earlier in the evening, that she was out of alignment from the rush of the chase. But suddenly there it was again, a slight tremor in the Force, emanating from a nearby alleyway. There was something recognisable about the signature, but Ahsoka couldn't quite place it. It was anger, frustration, and surprisingly hope, all twisting around each other in a thick mass. It was too brief an encounter to shape and decipher, but Ahsoka felt a chill in her bones, like it wasn't, or rather couldn't, be a good thing.

Going with her instincts she crept slowly down the deserted street, staying flat against one side, minimising her visibility. As she approached she took slow breaths to control her own Force signature, to mask it as well as she could from outside observation. Metallic drinks cans and food boxes littered the floor, purchased and discarded on some drunken night out or post-party haze. She carefully avoided them, stepping over them as gingerly as she would a landmine, not wanting to take the outside chance that the noise would alert someone malicious.

She reached the corner and dropped down, she took a silent breath to steady herself and she peeked round into the darkness. Two figures stood together in the shadows, a hooded woman and a shorter mirialan facing away from Ahsoka. Stress radiated off the taller one as she paced, rubbing her hand over her upper arm. A dark green hand reached up and steadied the other person. The mysterious figure removed the hood that adorned her head, allowing Ahsoka to get a better look at her. It appeared to be a human, with intricate tattoos on her face. But nothing about the pair explained why her Force sense had been alerted. They seemed normal, if a little strange, what with their back alley meeting place.

And then she turned around.

The mirialan glanced behind herself for just a second but it was long enough. Ahsoka has to suppress a gasp at the revelation of Barriss Offee. Her thoughts began to race, desperately trying to find answers, an explanation for why.

Why Barris was here, why she was meeting someone in secret, why wouldn’t she have told...

Ahsoka took a gulp of air before she could go any further. Barris was probably just meeting a...friend, or something. There was a brief moment where Ahsoka wanted to go to her, laugh it off as some coincidental meeting, but some part of her knew it was a bad idea. She realised at this point she should definitely leave them to their privacy, but her curiosity had a much stronger hold over her decisions than she would have willingly admitted.

The woman was several years older than Barriss, and she wore an unpleasant look on her, as if she were angry about something. They seemed to be in conversation, but nothing that she could pick out from this distance. Ahsoka centred herself and focused her senses on the pair, trying to pick up what they were talking about. It was faint, but when she blocked out the noise of the adjacent crowd with the Force, she managed to make out the two voices.

“–to be another way. You never said anything about innocent people getting hurt, I thought you wanted to strike at those who were the real problem!”

“And we will, Letta” Letta. The other woman's name was Letta. “But there is no other way that we can do this.”

“What?! No, no, no, you have access too! I don't see why we have to bring _him_ into this.”

“I wouldn’t be able to carry out the mission without being apprehended afterwards. That would put all of you in danger. He’s the only logical choice, given his profession.”

“But, the way he talks about his job. It's all he's ever wanted to do. He would never do it of his own free will, and I don't think there's any way we can coerce him either.”

“Of course there is. What we have is so small that it can be ingested, Letta. He doesn't even have to know.”

Letta looked at Barriss with her eyes wide and mouth open.

“You can't mean…”

Barriss put her hand out and placed her hand on Letta’s shoulder. Letta looked at it and shrank slightly at the touch. She looked afraid.

“There’s no need to worry, Letta. What we’re doing is for the future, for peace. Your husband would want things to be better for the Jedi, as well as for those who work for them. Even if he wouldn't understand right away, eventually what we will accomplish will be able to save millions from his fate.”

Letta still looked uneasy and had turned away from the Padawan. They were talking about the Jedi, somehow. They hadn't been very direct in their discussion, and Ahsoka couldn't work out what they seemed to be planning. But it didn't sound good and Letta's terrified expression solidified Ahsoka’s fear that something was very wrong here.

Eventually Letta began speaking again, and said in a deliberate, low voice “When you came to us with your plan to bomb the Temple…”

The words hit Ahsoka with terrible force, and Ahsoka lost all control of her emotions. Her shock radiated out into the Force as she brought up her hand to stop herself from crying out. Barriss had clearly detected it instantly, and she immediately gripped the other woman, and indicated for her to be silent with a finger to her mouth.

“Wait. Someone is watching.” She said and began to turn around.

Ahsoka didn't stall and forced herself to pull back. She started to move away from the alleyway and towards the streets. She moved from her position into the sea of people, hoping to blend in with the crowd, so that she couldn't be spotted by either of the conspirators. She knew it would only be a matter of time before Barriss started to follow, and had to get away. Fast.

Blood thundered past her ears and she ran. Cold terror began to seep into her skin. If she didn’t keep moving, she felt as though she would collapse. There were too many feelings inside her waiting to rush up and burst outwards. She forced herself to squash her emotions down again to prevent easy detection and started looking around.

She spotted a row of speeder taxis at the side of the street, close to the entrance of a large hologram covered building. The writing implied it was some famous Bith restaurant, probably the main tourist attraction to this part of the Level. She thanked her luck and ran towards the taxi rank, jumping into the first one that had a driver already in their seat. The driver, a dark skinned human, looked round.

“Where to?”

“Up! Up, up, up! Jedi Temple district!”

Ahsoka's heart was pounding and she had just shouted her destination a little too loud and with very little courtesy. Manners were the last thing on her mind, though. The taxi driver raised her eyebrows slightly but nodded, Force radiating feelings of pity into the Force. Ahsoka didn't want to know what she thought Ahsoka was doing or why she was this agitated. She rested her hand on the window of the speeder as it started its ascent to the top of the city.

Ahsoka's flight from the scene in the alleyway had been so fast that all she had been concentrating on was getting away from the scene without being detected. She hadn't been able to think about what had just happened. But now that she was stationary, she didn't have any other distractions. The shock that had overwhelmed her back in the alley washed over her again. She started to piece together what she had just heard, and what it meant.

Barriss was planning to bomb the Jedi Temple. 

_Your plan._ Those words told her that she hadn't simply been coerced into this either. How could she do this?! She had known Barriss for almost two years now, and in the battles that they had fought in together, Barriss had been even more averse to killing than most Jedi, even reluctant to do so in self defence. On top of that, she was a Jedi healer too, an extremely talented one, even. She couldn't have just decided one day that she would turn to murder to further her goals, it made absolutely no sense. But what Ahsoka had heard down below implied that was the case. Even if she didn't intent to hurt anyone in the explosion, they had been talking about feeding…

The thought made Ahsoka shiver in disgust, screwing up her face in reaction to her stomach threatening to eject its contents. She started to shake as she thought more about it, her emotions were a strong, confusing mix of anger, despair, shock, horror, and a number of other undesirable feelings that Yoda used to warn as being paths to the Dark Side. Could Barriss have turned to the Sith? Images of Count Dooku and Pong Krell flashed through her mind. It wasn't unprecedented that a Jedi could turn to the Dark Side, but she had never sensed anything that could seduce Barriss to such a cause. She’d always been a strong follower of the Code, like her Master, much more than most other Jedi that she knew, let alone their fellow Padawans.

Ahsoka’s taxi driver had noticed the distress of her passenger, and called out to her to ask if she was OK. Ahsoka, having briefly forgotten that she wasn't alone in the speeder, snapped her head towards the front of the taxi. After a few seconds she relaxed her shoulders and nodded. Ahsoka closed her eyes and quelled her emotions, once again bringing them under some semblance of control. Control of passions. It had never been her strong suite. Restless energy and a scattered personality were instead her old and familiar companions. With training, however, and no small effort on her part, she could usually keep them as a low background to her thoughts.

She remembered something that Barriss had said back there. About it being better for the Jedi, and about saving lives, millions even. To say the least, this seemed to be incongruous with her plan of treason and terrorism.

_What did she mean about things being better for the Jedi?_

Something was missing here, she didn't have all the information and there were clearly things she needed to uncover. She didn't believe that Barriss was working with the Sith or the Separatists, at least not willingly.

She couldn’t be.

**—**

It was over. She had been discovered and it was over. After losing the spy, almost certainly a Jedi, Barriss had wandered through the streets of low Coruscant contemplating what she was going to do. Eventually, when a better course of action had failed to present itself, she had returned to the Temple and gone straight to her quarters. She sat on the bed, facing the door and waited for the inevitable. Soon they would come through the door and arrest her, her plan laid out before them in ruins and the endless war would continue. Millions, or billions more sapients would die and there was nothing she could do about it.

After 5 hours of alternation between anxious worrying and half hearted meditation, she remained undisturbed. No-one had come through the door, nor had she been arrested. This puzzled Barriss, she had been so sure that it had all come crashing down, that she had made one mistake too many and it had cost her the plan.

 _Why wouldn’t they report me?_ She thought to herself.

There were several explanations, none of which made her feel any more comfortable about the situation. The first option was that they were a youngling or Padawan, too afraid of her and what they had heard to tell anyone. This was the best case scenario as it meant she could probably still carry out her plan. Her idea of framing another Jedi for the crime would likely be ruined, however, as once the plan became a reality they would most likely gain enough confidence to reveal her.

They could be someone that cares for her, who doesn’t want to risk revealing her too soon, possibly in hopes of talking her out of it. This was still an option, despite nobody coming forward to do so yet. If this was the case she would just have to wait and see if anyone tried to do so. It wasn’t as if she could go around interrogating everyone she knew without them getting wind that she had some sort of secret to hide.

Alternatively the person could have been someone who agreed with her plan or her motives, and would therefore not say anything even after she carried out the attack. This was unlikely, namely because the person had fled and had not tried in the meantime to contact her.

Finally, she could have made a different sort of mistake. The person that she had sensed wasn’t in fact a Jedi, and was simply someone with a higher than average impact on the Force. Or even that the person in question hadn’t been overhearing her and was in emotional distress, fleeing for some unrelated and coincidental reason. She would’ve liked to have ruled this out as well, but the thought that she was slipping in her abilities with the Force kept nagging at her. 

A voice in the back of her minding telling her she wasn’t good enough. A constant presence, especially in recent days.

Barriss gripped the side of her bunk with both hands, enjoying the sensation of pushing down the soft material in her palms. Tactile pleasures had the unlikely ability to soothe her mind and bring her into focus. Long ago she’d discovered this fact and long ago she’d decided to keep it to herself. Others, even Jedi, were unnerved enough by her personality and quietness, and she didn’t want to shine a light on everything that set her apart for all to see. She had come to understand that you didn’t reveal anything that could draw attention to yourself. Even to those who you trust. 

Or thought you could trust.

Whatever the correct answer to this puzzle was, she wouldn’t be able to find it by sitting here. Even if she mostly kept to herself, out the way and out of the spotlight, people would notice if she disappeared from the Temple entirely. Moving would become a necessity eventually. Her feet seemed too far away, though. It was as if they were getting further from her body the longer she kept her head bowed. The effect was dizzying, as was the rush of blood to her head that was causing it. Her feet, like the rest of her, was to always be kept covered. It was a tradition of mirialan spirituality, a combination of fashion and clothing tailored to the erratic weather of the most densely inhabited regions of their planet. Over the centuries it had evolved into a cultural and religious symbol for her people, one which she rigidly adhered to. Even though she had not seen Mirial since she was very young, Luminara had insisted on teaching her the ways of their shared ancestry as soon as Barriss had become her Padawan. Master Unduli had even been the one to mark her skin with her tattoos, a ritual usually performed only by family members.

Barriss smiled. In a sense, Luminara was her family. Soon Barriss would undergo the Trials, and they would no longer have the connection of Master and Padawan, but this was the woman who had essentially raised her, and she would always hold a place in her heart. 

But as soon as she smiled her eyes began to dampen, moisture gathering at the lids. Luminara would hate her. No, she would despise her, and rightly so. Barriss was a monster, she had been for a year now. She tightened the grip on her bed and squeezed her eyes shut.

_The memories rushed into her mind and entwined themselves with her current emotions. Darkness engulfed her, as it always did, the shadows swirling and shifting around her. Her stomach dropped as she felt skin on glove on metal, a tactile combination which now always resulted in a wave of nausea. Familiar emotions boiled to the surface; rushing excitement, blinding shock, horrified disgust, a deep, unending sadness. Would the despair ever truly leave her? Finally anger charged to the surface and she became one with the rage. More memories flooded her vision. She saw flashes of light, a voice on the radio, the soothing click of a button. And then..._

She took deep, panicked breaths. A hand clutched her chest tight as palpitation shook her ribs and it took a moment for Barris to realise it was her own fingers trying to grasp her heart through the skin. The attacks came at random times and no amount of meditation had eliminated them, or even dulled their effect. Each time it was like a speeder crash, paralysing her and blotting out the focus of everything else.

After several minutes the effects began to wear down. An agitation remained, however, and Barriss felt the sudden urge to move, to do something. She circled her room twice and stared for several seconds at the ceramic pottery inconspicuously adorning the corner. Eventually she made the decision to leave her bed. Taking another deep breath, this time slow and measured, she stepped through the doorway. A small hiss indicated that it had closed itself automatically after her.

She made a decision in that moment between room and hallway, between sadness and anger. No longer would she wait for someone else’s actions to decide her fate. She was going to find out whoever knew her secret.

She would find them, and then she would end them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully I’ll have the next chapter out soonish!


	2. Chapter 2

The doors slid open with a sudden hiss, and through them stepped a young Pantoran woman shadowed by a tall guard. The navy circles framing the underside of her eyes betrayed an unhealthy lack of sleep, not at all helped by the long hours her personal work ethic demanded of her. Both figures were adorned in lavish ceremonial garb, though whilst hers had a perfectly tailored fit, her protector’s were tightly wrapped around his more practical armoured vest. Frankly she couldn’t wait to shed them for casual wear, but appearances had to be kept, at least until she was out of the public eye.

Riyo sighed. 

Behind them the chamber still echoed from the shouts of bickering representatives, a maelstrom of arguments consuming those still left long after the session had been called to an end. She'd lost her appetite for pointless debate long ago. Worse, it was simply over yet another taxation bill, one which would undoubtedly be revised and redrafted until it effectively changed nothing, before passing into obscurity after its inevitable implementation. Some days she wondered if the Confederate delegates squabbled as they did. Maybe she really had made the wrong choice staying loyal to the Republic…

She dismissed the thought as an idle fantasy. It was all very well dreaming of political change but actually doing the work involved was another matter entirely, and she was hard working down to her core. She looked across the hallway, seeing the Kuati Senator walking briskly away from the Senate, a sullen look adorning his aging features. He was flanked by five others who seemed desperate to talk to him, all shouting over each other at once. They moved off down the corridor, presumably towards his office where they could have their discourse at a more reasonable volume. Riyo didn’t envy him, she was glad there were currently no visiting dignitaries or committees from Pantora that she had to deal with. At this point a quiet rest in her office, and maybe some light paperwork, would be a welcome distraction from today's mental marathon.

With this in mind she headed towards the side of the vast Senate which held her suite. Every delegation had a spacious set of rooms in the building itself, and with there being thousands of systems represented in the Republic, the result was that the Senate building was the size of a small city in its own right. Combined with the Senate District, a zone completely built on the highest level of Coruscant and outfitted with the finest establishments in the known galaxy, and senators were left with very little reason to ever leave. Very little reason to go anywhere other than their restaurants and their theatres; very little reason to see the poverty gripping the populace and even less reason to care.

 _I'm guilty of it too, though._ Riyo thought idly. _What have I ever truly done to help them?_

Riyo let out another sigh. It had become something of a habit after Senate sessions. Her mind began to run through the same thoughts whenever she had to debate economics with greedy aristocrats or apathetic intermediaries and right now it was giving her a headache. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple as she reached her door.

“Madame Senator? You feeling alright?” The bodyguard inquired, genuine concern playing in his eyes. His more casual tone was brought on by their newfound seclusion.

“No, I’m fine Objie. Really, I am. I should be asking you the same thing, actually, you’ve had to be up longer than me.”

“Oh nah, this, ma’am, is nothing! I once had to spend a week during a Talz diplomatic trip with barely an hour a cycle. 'Chasing the Night’ they call it, some sort of solstice holiday. Took me completely by surprise actually, I was expecting an easy one for that mission!”

Riyo could believe it, the Talz were erratic, to say the least, and therefore hard to predict. But lately the thought of spending time with them was much more appealing than staying where she was. Coruscant was almost unbearable these days, like residing in a pit of vipers who were all fighting over their last scrap of food. It was absolutely exhausting.

“Seriously though, ma'am. You should rest a little, if it's not too bold of me to suggest.” Objie said lightly, the corners of his lips tugging slightly upwards.

“I might just at that, Objie, thank you for the sound advice.” Riyo replied, letting out a short breath in the place of the genuine laughter bubbling to her surface.

The door slid back to reveal her fashionably stark office in all its quiet glory. Personal adornments weren't present in the room, save for a few careful arrangements of flowers. Having such intimate objects would project the wrong image, show weakness or some such nonsense. Still, that was fine. Her apartment was littered with them anyway, and it helped to have some separation of her work and home lives. She felt a wave of calm sweep over her as she moved further in and wrapped herself in the comforting isolation. 

_I just need to sit down for a bit._

The thought sounded nice to her. With her eyes closed in contemplation at this newly discovered serenity, she didn't notice when the chair swung round to face into the room.

“Hey.” 

The tone was innocuous enough, as if greeting an old friend.

Senator Chuchi’s reply, however, was a loud, stunted shriek followed by a visible leap backwards.

After a moment of silence, Objie rushed in with his weapon raised. When he saw the familiar Jedi seated at the desk he quickly realised what had happened and relaxed, asking the Senator if she needed any help. Since she was hunched over and too taken by a sudden fit of silent laughter to actually respond, she just made vague flapping hand motions in his direction. He seemed to get the gist, and quickly excused himself again.

The neutral look originally plastered onto the face of the Togruta had also given way to laughter, her sharp fangs that usually remained hidden under her lips and on full display. It took awhile for the pair to recover from the moment.

“You…” Riyo wiped at the tears forming in her eyes. “Ah, you really know how to sneak up on someone Ahsoka!” 

“Sometimes I forget that not everyone has the same senses as Jedi!” She replied, removing her feet from the side of the chair and hopping up.

The pair shared a short hug, residual laughter catching them as they pulled apart.

“I'm, uh, actually really sorry about that, I genuinely didn't mean to scare you!”

“Just a happy accident?” Riyo replied, a wry smile forming on her face. “No! No, no it's fine, really! If I'm being honest, I think I needed that today.”

Ahsoka scrunched the middle of her brows together and then up in concern.

“Oh. Is something wrong?”

“No! I mean nothing unusual, really. Just senate business, you know? It's not the most relaxing job in the world.”

“Ha! Yeah, I don’t envy you. I don't like dealing with politics on a good day. Unlike you, I have not got that sort of patience. Like, at all.”

“Except when setting up elaborate traps to scare _me_ , you mean.”

A bashful smile returned to Ahsoka's face.

“So. Why did you come to see me today Ahsoka?”

“Can't I just drop by to see my good friend the Senator? Maybe I just really wanted to spend some time with you!”

Riyo simply continued to stare at Ahsoka's innocent expression, maintaining her eyebrows at a raised position of incredulity. Riyo knew better. This standoff had some sort of effect on the Jedi, as she then broke off her attempt to look puzzled and resumed her signature grinning.

“OK, OK, you caught me! I actually need some advice.”

Riyo knew that if Ahsoka had actually wanted to hang out, she would have pinged her communicator like she had a thousand times before, not ambushed her in her office. Well perhaps she hadn't ambushed her intentionally, but the point still stood that something was definitely up. She had learned to notice the muted signs her friend put out when stressed. Reading people came with the territory of being a politician, or a good one at least, although Ahsoka wasn’t exactly a closed book.

“Don't you have a whole temple full of Jedi to ask for advice from?” She asked, figuring that some harmless ribbing might ease her tension.

“Huh! Yeah, you're so right, I guess I just, wow, just didn't think of that! Never even occured to me!” She said, her deadpan voice indicating everything but.

“See that’s why you come to me! Well, how about you go try that, while I get some much needed rest–”

“The _reason_ I came to you,” Ahsoka quickly interrupted, “is...well, it’s a bit of a sensitive matter. I wanted to come to someone I trust, someone _outside_ the Order.”

“Hmm, I guess that doesn't leave you many options at all. Apart from the clones, of course. Ooh, and that Lux boy you were all over.”

“What?!” Ahsoka lets out a scoff. “I was not “all over him”, Ri. Not that you'd understand, but I happen to be a Jedi, and we don't give in to our base emotions like that.”

“You don't, huh? That's really interesting, Ahsoka. On an unrelated note, how's Anakin, by the way? Still with Amidala?”

“Oh yeah, that's right! I almost forgot, I caught them last night! I was calling up Anakin, and suddenly Padmé started chatting away like nothing was out of the ordinary, and Anakin keeps trying to shh her! It was so funny, I wish I could’ve seen his face! He was so embarrassed.”

She threatened to dissolve into more giggles, but something caught her when she was on the cusp. Something that sobered her slightly. Riyo could read between the lines.

“What's this all about, then?” She said, gently steering them back on track. “Are you in trouble?”

“No it's…” she shook her head. “It's not me, it's a...friend.”

Barriss. Had to be. Of course this was about Barriss Offee. Riyo was fairly sure that Ahsoka didn't know how much she talked about her Jedi friend, but it was enough for the Senator to know exactly why she did, no matter her protestations regarding oddly restrictive Jedi celibacy practises.

“They’ve...I don't know really, but they’ve not been themself lately. Not that I’d know, honestly, we’ve barely seen each other in months. And then, last night I found out something...disturbing. I think they might be in real trouble Ri, and I'm not sure how I can help them out.”

Ahsoka seemed almost afraid to speak, a delicacy and hesitance that were not often exhibited by the young Togruta.

“What if I knew they were going to do something. Something… bad. I'm really worried about them and I just want some way to convince them not to make a huge mistake.”

Riyo’s mind raced with the possibilities of what could be going on, but Ahsoka seemed reluctant to divulge any details. She was nervously fidgeting with her hands. Riyo looked at Ahsoka.

“Ahsoka. Hey.” She touched her friend’s arm. It was enough to stop her from the pacing that threatened to wear a hole in the frankly immaculate floor.

“I just...I don’t know what to do!” She said, her voice had softened much more than Riyo would’ve liked.

Riyo let go of the breath she was holding.

“Look. I...this is obviously biting at you, but I get it, OK? You’re worried about your friend, scared for them even. You feel like you’re helpless and there’s nowhere to turn, am I right?”

A small nod indicated she had the right idea.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Riyo got up and embraced Ahsoka again, hoping the tightness of her grip would convey some amount of the comfort she wanted to smother her in.

“My advice is this: talk to them. Your friend. Whatever this is about, and I know you don’t want to talk about it, ah sorry, specifics I mean, but going direct to the source is the best solution in these sorts of matters, trust me. Tell you what. Why don’t we sit down, have a nice hot cup of tea, and you can talk all about whatever you want. Doesn’t even have to be about Ba–, er, baring your soul.”

“Wait, do have Alderaani tea?”

“Do I have Alderaani tea? You know, sometimes I feel like we don’t know each other at all, Ahsoka. Are you just exploiting me for my fabulous brain?”

“You think I'm just using you for your useful, useful knowledge?” Ahsoka said, trying her best to sound shocked. 

“Thanks Ri. Seriously. Next time you need like, uh, an action-y favour, you know who’s door to ring!”

“Action-y?”

“Oh, you know what I mean.”

**—**

Dramatic declarations of intent aside, the task of finding someone was a lot harder once you were released from the moment. Barriss had no real idea where to start, no clues to work from, not to mention the issue of how to even suss out this person without giving the game away. She had realised all this about 5 minutes after having left her room, but a combination of stubbornness and blind determination had kept her from immediately slinking back there to brood. Eventually she had taken to ambling around on a long, silent, (and if she was honest with herself) moody walk through the Temple, hoping that the solution would spontaneously pop into her head. As if that had ever happened before.

She bowed to a younger Padawan and his Master as they passed in the hallway, on their way to some exercise or other. Figuring out what to do next was a distressingly difficult idea to focus on, as there was no real logical solution to her...aimlessness. She still needed to facilitate the transport of the nano explosives, they waiting in an innocent shipping container on the lower levels. Making a move so soon after being discovered, however, would be unnecessarily dangerous, not to mention foolhardy. She could wait if needs be.

Barriss was nothing if not patient.

She paused by the looming statue of Grand Master Chuang. The bronze figure was gigantic, and yet was somehow positioned in a secluded corner so as to make it not a centrepiece, but a silent watcher in a perpetual state of peering down at all those moving towards the lightsaber training grounds that were concentrated in the southeast of the Temple. Chuang was a constant fixture in many of the Jedi tales and fables that were taught to younglings in crowded huddles at the tail of school days. His deeds were so far back in history as to be semi-mythological in nature, and there was some mild debate in the more intellectual corners of the Order as to whether he ever even existed, or if he was simply a figurehead invented to amalgamate several early stories of the Force.

A quick glance round revealed no one in sight, and Barriss carefully lowered herself onto the red cushions surrounding the base, hand outstretched. She placed her fingers against the metal and closed her eyes. The structure was cool, and pleasing smooth to the touch, and Barriss felt her mind calming.

As hard as it was to admit, Barriss was lost. Before last night, she had her whole plan perfectly detailed in her mind, a series of events working in synchronicity to produce the desired result. Now she couldn’t even see to the end of the day. It was funny how little it had taken for her scheme to crumble around her into dust.

Barriss took a long breath out, and flattened her hand to the surface. She needed to release some of these feelings. Over the years Luminara had impressed upon her the importance of channelling emotions, that the best way to not be controlled by them is to release them. The stronger the emotions, the more activity was needed.

Barriss opened her eyes and turned to look down the corridor that led toward the training rings. She felt pulled towards them, just slightly. It was not a strong draw, but a small fluctuation in the Force that was intriguing enough to her subconscious to make her want to investigate.

Barriss moved purposefully, her head held high and her back perfectly straight. No matter how she felt on the inside, she would never show weakness, and she would not let anyone know what was going on below. The walkways that lined the upper levels allowed her to guide herself through the maze of sparring arenas and gymnasiums. She held a lazy gaze out of the windows until a sight through one of them caught her attention.

The scene itself had drawn a small crowd of bored teenage Padawans, and the two figures, one was her friend Ahsoka, were locked in a round of lightsaber combat. They had been going at it a while, both had a sheen of sweat adorning their exposed skin. This led Barriss to notice the entire length of Ahsoka’s arms were on display in her training outfit. As their blades made contact, muscles tensed and each gave up grunts of exertion. Their dance was oddly graceful in that way that all Jedi combat seemed to be, a fluid movement of body and weapon. In this way, flexibility being just as effective an asset as brute strength, especially when facing an opponent who could tap into instincts most couldn’t unlock or even know were there.

An odd feeling washed over her, some cold, unseen force gripped her stomach as she took in the view. Already those familiar orange biceps had increased in size, the blue and white striped leku were more pointed, and Ahsoka was even taller now. It looked good on her, Barriss came to realise, she fit it well. Her awkward lankiness in previous years was bulking into something both new and strangely correct. She wasn't all the way there yet, but the shape of it was already appearing, the final product was now easier to predict. How long had it been since their last encounter? Months at least, Barriss realised.

_Has it truly been that long? It still feels like just yesterday. I can still see their faces, smell their…_

She broke off her thoughts. Now wasn’t the time for that, not in such a public forum. There would be plenty of time when she didn’t have the feeling that a dozen eyes were all burrowing into her skin, burning her with their attention.

As she shook herself back into the moment, she realised Ahsoka had turned her head and spotted her. It took Barriss slightly by surprise, the suddenness of the attention. Ahsoka too seemed shocked, her mouth slightly parted at the sight of her. She seemed to have forgotten that she was in the middle of a session and stood there immobile. They held each others gazes for a beat, or maybe two, before Ahsoka came back to herself and whipped her blade around towards her opponent. When the fight restarted, she moved with the same terrifying speed as before, but now she was striking harder. Blow after blow each landed more ruthlessly than before as Ahsoka built momentum. Each clash of the blades let out a spray of sparks and a flash of light, blending together as the hits turned more frantic, the whole scene became harder to focus on as the lightning flashes strobed from the space between them. Her opponent was forced back and back and back until he was pinned against the transparent wall, struggling to move his sabre into the right position, barely able to parry each strike of Ahsoka's maddening flurry.

It ended with a powerful combination move that Ahsoka pulled off with the sort of practised ease that you gained only with experience. She threw a kick low, taking out one of his legs, and forcing him off balance. Then she delivered a final strike to the side of his ribs with the pommel of her larger blade before he had time to regain himself. He went flying into the mat, his breakfall coming just in time to prevent serious injury. The boy moved slowly, trying to get out of the sprawl Ahsoka had sent him to, rubbing his chest and emitting a soft groan. Ahsoka moved over and offered a hand, hauling the boy back to his feet and giving him a commiserating pat on the back.

Once again Ahsoka turned towards the walkway, and Barriss felt a deep drop in her lungs as she stared into those blue eyes. It didn’t hurt as much as with others, for some reason. There was something about that look combined with the lock in Ahsoka’s jaw that gave her a hardness Barriss found strange.

No, that wasn't quite right. Not strange, just unusual. Flicking through the faces in her mind didn’t reveal any definitive results. She looked upset, or perhaps...conflicted. On Ahsoka, who always seem to take even the most stressful situations with an infuriating lightness, it was a rare sight to behold. She gave every situation she was in a sense of excitement, a touch of adventure.

Somehow, Ahsoka must be hurting. There was no other explanation, she concluded. It was an odd thought, but it came to her as all logic does and fit in the holes exactly, if not completely filling them. Barriss almost forgot herself, almost rushed to her side, then and there. So she could see what was wrong, and greet her friend after an age of not seeing each other. It would have been soothing, and warm, and exactly the remedy she wanted.

But she stopped herself just in time. Her brain caught up with her instincts and she knew that she wouldn't. She couldn't, not yet. She needed to stay strong, to stay convicted in the face of the setback that was haunting her, and if she talked to Ahsoka now, she knew she could lose faith in herself and her plan. Talking to Ahsoka was like drinking from a wellspring of optimism and Barriss couldn't afford that sort of luxury, not when she was so close. 

_If I talked to her, she might…_

Barriss needed to leave. She curled her hands into fists, the action was unconscious but signified her choice fairly well. A defiance in the face of familiarity. As she moved back from the viewing window, something altered in Ahsoka's expression slightly. Her eyes seemed to lose just a minuscule portion of light, and her brow furrowed almost imperceptibly. Barriss almost faltered again.

But it was just for a tick, a small mote of time before she broke off the eye contact and hurried away, barely remembering to maintain her rigid, necessary posture. She needed to escape, before temptation could squeeze her even tighter and whisper more seductive nothings into her brain, dragging her from the path that she knew she must follow. The path that was right.

She had come to far to back down now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go, another chapter. Sorry if this one is a bit light on plot, I promise this story is going somewhere! Hope you enjoyed it! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Small droplets of sweat ran down Ahsoka's face, carving intricate paths through the glistening membrane that had built itself up over the workout. Sparring, when done right at least, exhausted the participants after only a handful of minutes. The momentum of the bout would slow and each move had to be taken carefully, the participants unable to rely on brute strength to win each contest. Instead they had to weigh every action based on their remaining energy reserves as well as their ability to carry it out with enough speed to prevent it being easily blocked.

Ahsoka loved it. The frantic rush left her mind no room to scatter and divert, all her attention had to be pinpointed and the ever present background noise drifted away. The flurry of blades and the analysis of a situation in motion led to solutions multiplying in front of her until she chose one, for better or worse. Rapid and decisive decision making held just as much of a key to winning as knowing the correct forms did. Tactics and foreplanning had never spoken to her as spontaneous action did, and it was when she truly entered her element. She didn’t have to be perfect or the most studious or have the best memory like in training, she could simply go where the Force and her instincts guided her.

Her muscles ached from the workout, and her head was starting to throb from the oncoming dehydration, but she usually revelled in the feeling, like it was proof that she was still alive. A pleasant orange flush darkened her face, but this time she couldn’t take satisfaction in it. As she stomped into the changing rooms, she took a large gulp from her water bottle before slamming it onto one of the faux wood benches that lined the walls of the room, and buried her face straight into a hanging towel. She felt tempted to let out a scream but her body lacked the conviction to do so, and she settled for a whimper of frustration instead. Training had been meant to cheer her up, meant to clear her mind and prepare her for the inevitable confrontation that curled around her gut every time she thought of it.

Barriss. She had ignored her. She had ignored her outright, or something close to it anyway.

She had wandered straight into the observation deck with her usual ethereal grace, not a care in the world, despite her apparent extracurricular terroristic activities. She had _seen_ her, glanced over her and just swanned right off again.

_Have we truly grown so far apart? It wasn’t so long ago that we were sitting around in that cafeteria, talking about nothing, and having a wonderful time for it. What’s changed? What’s…_

Ahsoka felt her hands curl around the fabric into tight bundles, before loosening and sliding off. Lowering herself down to the bench, she let out another breath, half to ease her body from its heightened state, and half to ease her mind from the thoughts building up. It’s only half successful, easing only the former, the latter still gathering like moss over a rock, threatening to block out everything, until she can only focus on Barriss. She rests her head on the smooth red duraplast of the lockers, wishing she could simply stay there forever, that someone else could deal with this situation.

She wasn’t sure her heart could take it any more.

Eventually she moves, leaving an unknown amount of time wasted on simply staring at the opposing wall in her wake. She takes a shower, savouring the way the hot fluid coats her body and darkens her again to the hue gained by her workout. More time wasted on procrastination. Exiting the steaming cubicle, she changed back into a her daily outfit, and slinked from the room, head bowed towards the ground. The last thing she was focussed on was looking where she was going, so of course she immediately runs into a solid wall of person.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Woah! Slow down there Snips.”

“Oh, it's you.”

Anakin’s eyes crinkled as he warmed into a small smile, taking the mild insult in stride. His hair looked as though he had just rolled out of bed, a look Ahsoka was sure had taken him at least half an hour this morning.

“That’s cold, Snips. Is that any way to greet your Master?”

“My deepest apologies, O esteemed Jedi Knight Skywalker, if I had known it was someone of your calibre I would have started grovelling much earlier. Shall I prostrate myself now, or…?”

Anakin let out a snort.

“Ha ha ha. You’re awfully cocky for someone who just barged into me like she’s on a mission. Got anywhere you need to be?”

“Apart from away from this conversation?”

Anakin just stared at her, crossing his arms expectantly, and cocking his head to the side.

“...no. Not particularly.” She grumbled, releasing some of the tension in her shoulders.

“Knew it.” He said, the levels of smug plastered on his face starting to rise to visible heights.

“I caught the end of that performance you were giving. Very impressive. Makes me wonder why you can't quite manage to do that in the field.”

Ahsoka scoffs.

“I run circles around you, Master. Even you can't compare to me!”

“Ha! I think not, little Ahsoka. You have a long way to go before you're at my skill level! And do you know why?”

“Because you're going to be the youngest Master on the Council?” She recited dryly.

“Because one day, I'm going to be...hey! Now you're getting it, Snips. Respect! I like this new attitude, very amenable!”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, Master.”

“Mmm. Well, anyway...Padawan Tano.”

_Oh no_ , she thought. _Anakin doesn’t say my name like that, unless..._

“I just wanted to...make sure you, ah, understand the need for...discretion in certain...recently revealed matters.”

“No, I won't tell Obi-Wan.”

“Oh thank the Force!” he said as he slumped down into a more relaxed posture, his black hand clutching his chest.

“...or any of the Council. Just, please stop. You’re freaking me out over here.”

“Thank you Snips! Thank you thank you thank you.”

As he said this he surged forward and wrapped his arms around Ahsoka, giving her a slight squeeze. Ahsoka froze for a second before returning the gesture. One of the best things about Anakin was the way that he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was so quick to display emotions, his happiness, sorrow, anger, relief were always there for all to see. Ahsoka was incredibly grateful for that. She was the same way, and when she was a youngling she had hated that about herself. It had always seemed to be a disadvantage, not having that control, not being able to build that filter in her mind that so many of her peers had. Especially when the adults in her life would impress upon her the importance of releasing her emotions, and to not be driven or clouded by them. To her, it seemed to constantly remind her that she wasn’t good enough, that they had made a mistake picking her for the Order. Eventually it had pushed her into always trying to prove herself, to prove that mindset wrong. When she was assigned to Anakin, it had been amazing, eventually. After some initial animosity, it was clear that he was a Jedi who was just like her, someone who wasn’t the perfect serene image of a Jedi that she’d seen all her life, and he was a Knight no less. The image was one that everyone had told her to strive towards, as an example of perfection, and she had always known, deep down, that she could never reach it. If he could become what he was, then she could too.

Ahsoka had never told him any of this, but she had a feeling he knew at least some of the hope that he inspired in her. The embrace came to an end as Anakin put his hands on her shoulders and his eyes, one scarred and one unmarked, filled with kindness looking down on her. That one hug had done more to relax and subdue her runaway mind than anything in the last couple of days. She rubbed her arm awkwardly picking at the point where her crimson gloves met her bare arms.

As Anakin stepped back though, he began to look uncomfortable, and a veneer of seriousness descended over his face.

“I’m sorry Snips, but I didn’t come just come here for personal stuff. I have some bad news, too. We’ve been given an emergency call up.”

“Wait, what!? How? We’ve only just…”

“We’ve only just got back, yeah, I know Snips. I’m sorry, I really am. You deserve some more time to unwind and relax before going back to the front. It isn’t healthy for someone so young to be fighting for as long as you have. And believe me, if it wasn’t a true emergency, I might argue our case, but…The Jedi are running out of reserves, and as we aren’t recovering from physical injury, we’re the logical choicest everyone at the Temple. I hate to say it Ahsoka, but the Order is stretched to breaking. There just aren’t enough of us to go around anymore.”

The information hit Ahsoka as less of a shock and more of an icy frustration at the hopelessness and futility of the situation.

“When are we leaving?” Ahsoka said, fighting to keep her voice the least bit steady.

“The ships roll out at dawn. I’m really sorry Ahsoka, this isn’t fair, none of this is.” He sighed, running his hand over his hair, and she noticed the tired rings and stressed lines marking his face for the first time. He looked as if he hadn’t slept at all last night.

_No thanks to my antics_ , she thought bitterly.

“The mission is Cato Neimoidia. It hasn’t hit news feeds yet, but Viceroy Gunray and his planetside, Confederate-leaning allies in the upper circles of the world have launched a surprise attack to make way for a Separatist occupation. According to dispatches from our sympathisers and Republicans in the the Trade Federation, the coup against the Palace has failed, and a confused civil war is under way, with Separatist warships moving in to take the system. If we move quick enough, we can tip the balance in our favour.”

“This is...no, I need more time...I…”

She felt the hand clasp to her arm. A cool, metallic force gripped with a practised lightness and she looked up. She felt her panic fizzle with the contact and she wondered briefly why his presence was so comforting. It was the touch of a parent, she realised, a sensation she hadn’t felt since infanthood. Something she had unconsciously craved and strived to reclaim throughout her time as a youngling, as a Padawan. The teacher-student relationship between Master and Padawan was more than just that, there was a hidden wisdom behind the practise, she realised. The grounding nature that an adult figure would give to a teenager, the most stressful time of any growing person's life, was the same as that of a parent. It was so simple and somehow so effective, at least with her. She hadn’t even realised it had happened, but she thought of Anakin as her family now. It was startling, and confusing, and warm all at the same time. She couldn’t focus on that right now.

“Master Skywalker, do you...what if you knew that something bad was going to happen, something that would kill people and damage the Republic?”

“What...is this about the Cato Neimoidia attack?”

“...uh, yeah, sure. If you could have prevented it, stopped it from happening, how far would you go to do that?”

Anakin looked at her for a time, mouthed thinned to a line. Ahsoka could see the question rolling around just behind his eyes. Eventually he managed to reach a resolution.

“Then I’d stop it, Ahsoka. No matter what.”

“No matter what?”

“Yes. I would do whatever I had to to save lives. No matter the cost. Not even if I had to sacrifice myself. Not even if I had to...take the lives of the guilty. Not even if I had to leave the Jedi Order. I would not rest until they were prevented, until everyone was safe, until I physically couldn’t go on anymore. Life comes first. People come first. The citizens come first. The Republic comes first. Always.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

The words sat heavy in the air. Neither could break the trance, they just stood there in contemplative silence, eyes locked to each other. Ahsoka wasn’t sure how to respond. Logically she knew that he was right; innocents were always going to be more important than their own lives. Their duty, first and foremost, was to protect others at all costs and maintain peace in the Galaxy. But she had never heard it spelled out so bluntly, or even spoken aloud. It was always more of a silent understanding, a feeling that they may have to give up everything, and that the renouncement of emotions and worldly connections was the first step on that road.

“Master, I have to go. There’s something I need to do. Something important.”

Anakin smiled.

“Then go, Snips. You’ve got the whole day. Just be sure to make it to the hanger in the morning.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Ahsoka replied, a grin briefly flashing across her face, before her expression dropped into determination.

**-**

Barriss was done. Again.

 _This time for sure_ she thought to herself.

She had stretched as far as she could and couldn’t go any further without ending up snapped. Her meticulous plans were in disarray, her hunt for the mysterious disruptor had ended up going in circles, and even a simple walk had become unnecessarily stressful with a single wrong turn. She just couldn’t keep going around like this, her nerves stuck on a knife-edge, and jumping at any shadow she happened to cast. 

But neither would she give up. She wasn’t about to retreat, like a frightened mouse, back to her room to cower. There had to be another option.

Barriss had always liked to compare her mind to a chronometer. Specifically one used by the ancients, that were still produced and found in small markets and run down antique stores for the wistful and nostalgic. During one of her many days as a youngling spent buried in the depths of the Temple library, she had come across a thick tome detailing the mechanisms of machines from eras long past. The comforting weight and crisp of each page stayed as much a part of the memory as the information, entwined and inseparable much like living beings and the Force. The book, already an antique itself, contained the blueprint for an old chronometer, it’s many intricate parts disassembled into a hundred pieces, and all labelled with curled writing. The metal and glass components, some so miniscule as to be hard to make, all fit together exactly to create one form moving in perfect synchronicity. That was her mind.

At the moment she felt out of step, like a small part of her was off, like a cog out of place. The whole system was messed up, and it was denying her focus. What she needed, _really_ needed, was a place to gather herself up. To take herself apart, analyse each piece and put them back correctly, calibrating her mind. Then she would be able to think clearly, to tackle this issue appropriately and get herself back on track. Just like fixing a chronometer.

Meditation.

Meditation was the best tool that she’d come across in all her time with the Order. It was greater than lightsabers, the telekinesis extensions of her body, even the ebb and flow of her healing energy. The peace that she felt whenever she buried herself into the depths of her psyche was an experience like no other. It was a warm, comforting darkness and it wrapped itself around her, never letting her go. Hadn’t ever left her alone, crying in the cold darkness of space, sobbing in some drafty alien dormitory full to the brim of scared, crying children.

She moved with purpose, striding through the corridors towards the isolation rooms. She let out a sigh of relief when she found that her favourite room, number seven, was unoccupied. She moved inside and on towards the silver seat near the blinded windows, easing herself onto the red plush nestled at the top. She crossed her legs and brought her hands to rest on her lower body in the traditional form that was at this point ingrained into her.

It didn’t feel quite right though, and she opened her eyes to assess why. She noticed immediately that the symmetry was off, and she adjusted her seating so that she was facing perfectly towards the door. It locked into place and she felt calm sweep over her. That was the reason this room was her favourite, each side was a perfect mirror of the each other, right down to the slits of the blinds covering the windows behind her.

She began to move into the meditative state, running through the motions to bring herself there. She began to feel the telltale thrum of her head as the Force came more into focus around her, and she let herself be taken.

_The memories came surging back to her without warning. The Darkness that surrounded her lost its pleasant warmth and the swirling shadows began to shift around her. Her stomach dropped, as it always did, and her skin buzzed as the sensation of hand on metal on glove recoiled into her, and she felt bile rise in her throat. Those horrible emotions rushed into her again, and threatened to engulf her entirely. The rushing excitement, the blinding shock, the horrified disgust, and finally that unending sadness crashed over her and caged her. She knew what came next, the anger bubbled to the surface and she felt the rage vibrating beneath her. The memories were coming, more of them and she fought them. She saw the flashes of light, and heard the voice over the radio, and wrenched herself free. And then..._

Tears had formed in her eyes, small glistening drops of water blurred her vision as she gasped at the narrow escape. She would have been swallowed if she hadn’t managed to bring herself out in time. And now, the hyperventilation would be next if she didn’t find a quick way to centre herself, to bring herself back. She began to rapidly move through the steps of meditation once again. It wasn't perfect, and that serene feeling didn’t return, but she felt the heaviness on her ribcage lessen, and began to feel more regular, the crawling just under the surface of her body flattening itself into nothing.

She didn’t get time to reorient herself, however. The doors to the chamber slide opened, and a muffled hiss is drawn from the hidden hydraulics, before returning to its place with a minute thud.

Her eyes didn’t open, they didn’t need to. Barriss knew who it was almost immediately. The familiar Force signature would’ve been enough on its own, but the not so stranger’s identity is confirmed by other elements, too. The confident gait, the stomping sounds of boots when she makes as she moved across a floor and climbed onto a meditation seat. Even her smell, that slight scent of the locker room shower soap still lingered in the air around her.

It all added up to just one person, Ahsoka Tano, Togruta Padawan extraordinaire.

“Barriss.” she said. A slight waiver in the pitch and a lower volume sound strikingly different to Barriss, they lacked her usual bluster.

“We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long, I got stuck on this chapter, I hope it’s alright!


	4. Chapter 4

For Ahsoka, it was easy to be bold, most of the time. It came to her so naturally that it still remained her favoured impulse when facing the unknown, an old friend to turn to when she didn't know what else to do. Be so big and so loud that maybe she could scare whatever it was waiting around the corner and lurking in the shadows. Her mind, however, had matured somewhat over the years, a steady stream of advice and experience had taught her the importance of holding back, of waiting until she had considered all her options. She was proud to say she could hold that impulse at bay most of the time and it no longer ruled over her actions. But when the time came to act, when she became certain that it was that time, it was an easy enough mold to slip into.

That was the feeling that had driven Ahsoka here, a voice in the back of her head screaming at her to go, to move, to _do something_. She rushed through the halls, allowing her instincts to guide her. The seconds were draining away with every hesitation, and after she had allowed herself a short while to ponder the best path, she knew now that this was how to proceed. Any further delays and she risked running out of the time that she desperately required.

She didn't pause as she pushed past the other rooms, barely glancing around to avoid further accidental collisions, and made her way straight towards room number seven. It was the most likely place for Barriss to be, her favourite place in the entire Temple, and quite possibly the Galaxy. Ahsoka had never understood why, but then she didn't need to. Her friend had told her it was her favourite and that's all she needed to hear.

_My friend? Former friend? No, she's still my friend._ she thought, her opinion had cemented even as it formed in her mind. _Until she proves herself otherwise, I won't give up on her._

Ahsoka's misgivings, her doubts, they weren't enough to displace the trust Ahsoka had in her, built up from so many good deeds, and displays of fearless courage. Not until she had more information and she found out what was _really_ going on.

She shouldered past the door without pause but as she saw Barriss, her head bowed in deep concentration at the centre of the room, Ahsoka’s momentum fell away. A pale and familiar headscarf was wound tight around Barriss’ head, trailing a long field of spots behind her. Ahsoka's confidence began to falter, crumbling as if it were built on nothing but sand.

“Barriss.” She said, silently berating herself for the lilting wobble that wormed its way into her voice. “We need to talk.”

Barriss did not open her eyes straight away, but Ahsoka saw how she took in a long, calculated inhale, followed by a slow exhale. Her eyes opened cautiously, as if unsure of what they might find outside the safety behind her eyelids. They stared at one another, with some manner of silent feeling passing between them, though Ahsoka was sure that neither of them had a solid idea of what the other was trying to convey. This situation couldn't be rectified with glances alone.

Eventually Ahsoka crossed the room, replacing her usual self-assured strides with steps, soft and slow. She positioned herself on the meditation seat opposite Barris, and came to rest with her legs crossed. The silence became awkward. Ahsoka had yet to say what she wanted to in that moment, but neither had she spoken what she felt she was expected to. Those small niceties that Ahsoka would usually use to bridge the gap before the real conversation kick-started itself all felt hollow in that moment. Too insignificant and insincere, but their absence left the air laced with a heavy weight of what she should force herself to use instead. What she _would_ say instead, she reminded herself.

“How...how have you been?”

Barriss’ stunted question snapped Ahsoka away from her spiral into introspection and back into focus. Barriss looked uncomfortable. Ahsoka knew she didn’t care for small talk, or at least initiating it, but she was trying to make the effort. Or at least appear to.

_How much is really her? How much is an act?_

She preserved her silence for a while longer as she ordered her thoughts, and drove away the anxieties that tried to ease themselves back inside her. The urgency that had driven her here to this room in an impatient flurry seemed to have dampened and drifted away. She'd been so certain of what she had wanted to say, but the words had fallen apart and she was left trying to gather what remained. To reconstruct the shape of them.

“Been a while hasn’t it” was what she settled on. Barriss nodded along, as if any of this was normal. Ahsoka desperately wished this was normal. That the handful of months spent apart hadn't pushed them both across a chasm of misunderstanding that she didn't know how to fix. She looked down, unable to keep her gaze on the young woman opposite her. The one she hoped she still knew.

“Why?” The word shot out of her louder than she had intended, her mind's unconscious attempt at silencing her swirling thoughts. She adjusted her volume down a notch.

“Sorry...no, but...why, Barriss? Why are you doing this?”

When Barriss didn't respond, Ahsoka pressed on, her eyes still focussed on the floor, unwilling to move. The dam inside her brain had broken and the words it was holding back spilled forth, now easier to say somehow.

“I know, Barriss. I was...I was there last night. In the alley, on the lower levels. I heard you talking with that...that woman. I just don't understand, Barriss. You said something about making things better, about improving the Jedi somehow, whatever that means. And hey, yeah that's great, I think? I don't actually know what needs to be made better, but improvements are always good, right? So sure, that I wouldn’t have questioned. But a...a bomb, Barriss? You were talking about a bomb?”

Ahsoka pressed her palm into the side of her head, gripping the back of her left lek lightly. Barriss still hadn't responded. 

_Why aren’t you saying anything?_ she wanted to scream.

“You've been there with me. At the frontlines. You should know. You should, of all people, know that bombs don't help anything. Ever. And how do you think that's going to play into any attempts to improve anything? Do you want to scare the Council into changing some sort of policy? Are you...do you want to like, damage some infrastructure, maybe? I just...I don't understand what you're doing Barriss, any of it. People could get hurt!”

Ahsoka finally looked up. The discomfort on Barriss' face had gone, replaced by a cool, neutral look. It was like Barriss had slipped a mask over her face, replacing her usual subtle movements and ticks with a rigid indifference. Her mouth had pressed into a thin horizontal line intersecting across her face.

“And why shouldn't I?” Barriss asked, her syllables sharp and tight like needles.  
“Tell me, why shouldn't I hurt people, Ahsoka?”

“What?!”

_No!_

“Ha! You're so naïve. Look at you, sitting there, giving your little speech, hoping to pull me away from the Dark Side with what? The power of friendship? Please.”

Barriss’ lips had morphed into a cruel shape that Ahsoka had never seen on her before. The happiness and fullness of a true smile were eerie in their absence. Ahsoka was taken aback for just a second, until her mind had time to catch up with her emotions.

“Don't be ridiculous.” She said, her eyes narrowed in annoyance. “You're not going to scare me away with those sorts of...theatrics. Tell me what's going on Barriss. What’s really going on.”

“Oh? How do you know I'm not telling the truth? I happen to think being a Sith rather suits me. All of that power, that knowledge, right at my fingertips. A fitting end to the path destiny has laid before me.”

“Because you're a terrible liar Barriss. No, that's not right. You're a great liar. And maybe you could convince someone who didn't know you, or even yourself, probably. But you can't lie to me, Barriss. I know you too well. I know your tells, I _know_ you're bluffing. So tell me, truthfully, what in the name of the Force you think you're doing.”

The smile dropped away from Barriss, and her shoulders slumped. The persona melted back into the Barriss she knew. Or something close at least, maybe with more burdens and worries on her; heavier eyelids and a wearier voice.

“I always knew you were smarter than you gave yourself credit for.” Barriss muttered. “Fine. You really want to know why i'm doing this? What do you see when you look at the Jedi Council? Don't tell me because I already know. I regarded them in much the same way. You look at the Council and see good. A harmless group of old people sitting around, occasionally dealing out sage wisdom and little mental puzzles, guiding the Jedi to enlightenment. When the going gets tough they go to the frontlines and keep they keep the peace. Plan strategies and work out how to win this war with a minimum of casualties. Am I right?”

Ahsoka waited for Barriss to finish the thought, but she couldn't fault her so far.

“Well I don't see that, Ahsoka, not anymore. I see murderers. Maybe not deliberate slaughter, but one thing has become clear to me. They don't care about innocents. They want to end this war quickly. And that comes at the cost of lives, Ahsoka. Civilians. Families. And honestly I don't think they even realise it. They're so focussed on their hunt for the new Sith threat and the Fallen Jedi, that they've blinded themselves to the fact that people other than themselves live in this galaxy. People without control over the Force, unable to protect themselves with a flick of the wrist. These people are everywhere, on our side and theirs, just trying to live their lives. The Council send others out on missions because it has tactical advantages. No consideration for who is cowering in the way. And if innocents get killed, it's terrible, oh so sad. Don't worry though, they're with the Force now, right? Probably for the best, it's not like they actually mattered in the grand scheme of things, right?

“The worst part of all this is that they've convinced the rest of us to go along with them, swept us up into their pointless drama. None of the Jedi even realise that we're so far astray from the teachings because we're all so scared of the Sith. Having our power stripped away from us is absolutely terrifying. So much so that none of us have stopped to think. We're all complicit, every last one of us. Even the Padawans and younglings are being led into the darkness by the Knights and Masters who have forgotten everything that the Code tries to teach us.

“Well my eyes have been opened Ahsoka. I've seen the truth and now I know what I have to do. To pull the Jedi back to the here and now, I've got to do something _in_ the here and now. It's the only way to shake them from their complacency.”

Ahsoka frowned at the speech, turning the words over, trying to sort them into something recognisable. Barriss’ eyes blazed with a look Ahsoka had seen a thousand times in the faces of fanatics on faraway worlds. The explanation had a sort of fraught logic to it, the sort that would start to make sense if you were isolated and went over it again and again in your brain until it settled within you. Until it became so recognisable that it turned from theory to absolute truth with no effort at all.

“What if...what if you talked to them? I'm sure the Council would take you, if you asked for an audience.”

“You think I didn't try that? No one would listen to anything I had to say. The Master Jedi just told me to 'mind my emotions, young one’ as if that hasn't been drummed into me for my entire life. The healers told me to ‘not dwell on the past’ and meditate to forget my troubles.”

“There must still be Jedi you trust, that you can turn to. What about Master Unduli?”

Barriss scoffed, a cold sound that she spat out with no humour framing it.

“If there's one thing I've learnt from Luminara, it's that trust is overrated. I trusted her, Master Unduli, more than anyone. I was so in awe of her that I became blind. I thought that she held the Jedi Code above all else, that she was this...this perfect beacon of how to use the Force. But the war has revealed her true colours. She plays her part in this conflict just like the rest of them, ignorant to the suffering. In the past, she has tried, more than others, to help. To hold herself back from the singleness of the pursuit of evil that consumes all in the upper echelons of the Order. But time has worn away at her. Now she's even killed so that she can further the Council’s goals with no regard for the sacredness of life and the preservation of peace. 

“And then she left, whisked off to some obscure front, her orders more important than listening to anything I had to say. The truth is, if we continue to perpetuate this conflict then we are no better than the Sith. So why shouldn't I act more like a Sith would? It's the only way that Council will take notice of anything anymore. The only language that they understand now is violence and death. So I have to respond in kind.”

“Death? Barriss you… you want to hurt people with that bomb? To...kill people?” Ahsoka’s voice had lowered to a shocked whisper.

“Why shouldn't I?” Barriss shouted, her voice becoming louder as she continued. “My hands are already soaked, Ahsoka! I have killed so many...so many people. So many lives released unnaturally into the Force. So many, Ahsoka! I can't...I can’t make that right. I can't give back what I've stolen and I can't save the goodness inside me, because there is none. So what will a few more deaths on me matter? At least they will be for a purpose, instead of the pointless millions slain in the name of another’s ideals.”

Ahsoka drew in her breath sharply. A swollen weight had appeared in her chest, tightening itself around the base of her windpipe and it was making it difficult to breathe. Ahsoka saw the frayed woman in front of her and knew that in that moment she understood more about her friend’s motivations than she had in a long time. It felt like too much to take all at once, like she would drown if she kept going. But she refused to run without trying.

“You don't believe you can be saved, do you?” Ahsoka's voice was level now, as if it needed to balance with Barriss reckless cries. “That's why you're doing this, isn't it? Why it has to be you. You think because you're irredeemable that you can take the fall for everyone else, save the Jedi from themselves.”

Ahsoka looked down and squeezed her legs with her hands.

“But you're wrong, Barriss. You’re so wrong! There's so much...so much good in you, it’s not lost at all! I know it’s there because I've seen it! You're so compassionate and such a thoughtful person! I think...I think the only way you believe you can go through with it is to pretend that you're evil, that nothing remains, but it’s just not true! And if you go through with this, Barriss…”

She almost couldn't get the words out.

“If you hurt people, you will become evil, you will fall. I won’t let that happen Barriss. I can't watch you hurt yourself and hurt others. This will destroy you, it will eat away at you until nothing remains. You think you have to do it because you've built it up in your head that it's the only way. But I'm here now, we can figure it out, we can find another way!”

“Didn't you listen to anything to anything I said?” Barriss' said, her voice laced with a chilling fury. “There is no other way!”

“You know that's not true! Barriss, let help you. Please! I...I need you to be OK…”

“Attachment is weakness, Ahsoka” she said, her unwavering. 

But Ahsoka knew that from Barriss’ previous outburst she was anything but calm. This was probably another attempt at angering Ahsoka, and pushing her away. Well Ahsoka was already angry but she wouldn't abandon her friend, no matter how hard Barriss tried.

“Attachment to your own life is not weakness Barriss. You keep trying to sacrifice yourself because you don't think your life has any value. I've known you long enough, Barriss. I know that right now you...you don't like who you are. I know that you that you believe yourself broken and wrong and unworthy of all of the power of the Jedi. You jump to self-sacrifice, whenever the opportunity presents itself because you desperately want to help others. And now, you think that you’ll be saving someone much more deserving than yourself, that their life has so much more value than your own. But you're so wrong. You matter Barriss. You bring joy to those around you and you don't even have to try, it's just who you are! You mean so much to every person who is lucky enough to know you. And even if I can't speak for everyone, you mean so much to...to me. I am telling you right now that you are amazing. Please… Barriss…don’t give up. Please…”

Ahsoka squeezed her eyes shut to stop herself from completely breaking down.

“I think you should leave, Ahsoka.”

It was a while before Ahsoka said anything.

“I am leaving, Barriss. For Cato Neimoidia. Fighting has broken out, and...I have to go. I wish I could stay here and help you. But I won't be here. I won’t be able to stop you, if you go through with this. I won’t report you to the Council, I couldn’t do that to you. But that means I have to trust you.”

Ahsoka was on her feet now, eyes ablaze.

“Listen to me carefully, I am trusting you not to do this. Don’t become the monster you believe yourself to be. If you choose to do this, and it is a choice, Barriss, no matter what you tell yourself, then nothing will stop me. If you hurt people...I won’t hold back, Barriss. I will bring you down myself.”

She turned on her heels and marched out of the room, unable to wait for a reply, fearing the answer would be too heartbreaking. The tears she’d been holding back were beginning their slow descent of her face.

**-**

Barriss felt the loss of Ahsoka as something physical. It gripped her bones as keenly as if she had lost a limb. It was as though the two of them were not two separate people, but one being with both of them coiled up into each other. The separation manifested itself as grief, small painful droplets streaking their way down her cheeks, and a solid mass on her lungs, blocking her airways. She felt as if she would drain completely and crumple into formless skin, if she couldn't stem the tide.

Time deserted her and she had no notion of its passing, as she sat there in that isolated room. Emotions flowed over her, strong enough that she couldn’t keep them down. In fact she didn't even try to keep them contained, as a good Jedi should, her mask now scraped away by the harsh, sandpaper words they had exchanged. Regret flared up. It was regret that she couldn't convince Ahsoka to see reason, to bring her over to Barriss’ side and see what was plain and obvious truth. Anger joined it, directed at Ahsoka's stubbornness, and refusal to listen to reason.

She pretended not to know why the opinion of this one insignificant Padawan seemed to mean more to her than that of the entire Council, of the whole Order, and even of the Galaxy at large.

_You're a great liar._ She had said, without hesitation, without a single shred of uncertainty. _You could convince even yourself, probably._

Maybe Ahsoka was onto something.

When Barriss regained herself, she was worn through. Her eyes hung heavy, stinging from the outpouring of locked away thoughts and suppressed emotions. More meditation would be pointless, she was too exhausted to even contemplate it. 

She instead opted to move back through the Temple to her room. She kept her hood further down than usual, a feeble attempt at hiding the misery scrawled over her face in dark green. Now she just wanted to sleep. Anything to scrub away the murky weight that covered her all over.

An image of Ahsoka held in her mind. It was a surprise to see that she had changed so much in those scant few months. The physical stuff was obvious, as all teenagers grew and changed at an unparalleled rate. Barriss herself was no exception, she knew, no matter how much she hated seeing it happen. But there was a maturity to Ahsoka now, the silhouette of who she might become already manifesting itself beneath her skin. She had been unsteady, a rambling, pleading, unsure stream of words manifesting from her, but less of the childish confusion there had once been.

She wasn't in a solid position to judge. Her own arguments had been full of holes. Their flavour more that of excuses than anything else. Ahsoka was smart, and Barriss desperately wished she'd figure it out, join the right side, before it was too late, for her and the Jedi. But before long she would be light years distant, and too distracted by blood and fire to come to any of those conclusions.

She didn't want to think about Ahsoka going on her mission. About the hurt in her eyes as she’d stormed away. She had been so sure…

_It doesn't matter now._ Barriss thought to herself, rolling to her side, and curling into the covers.

The time was almost upon her. The plan was all that mattered now.

It was time to sow the seeds of death.


	5. Chapter 5

Rex knew where every piece of a battle lay.

At least he always seemed to. Not from any of the myriad enhancements stuffed into him by the Kaminoans, though. He was, like all the others, still biologically Mandalorian. Being trained for military combat from birth tended to take its toll, even with a halved life cycle. Rex, however, seemed to take to strategy and tactics even better than his brothers.

It was no wonder that he'd been promoted to his current position. A worn but polished strip of dark navy ran proudly across his shoulders, a blazing symbol to what he'd achieved. These thoughts came to Ahsoka in small rivulets as she traced a finger lazily along the line where blue met white on the the armour. He didn't seem to mind. It was a nervous habit of hers, one she'd picked up as a teenager to help centre herself before the terrible rush of combat. Back then she'd done it to distract herself, an effort to pretend that she wasn't overwhelmed by that most unwanted emotion, fear. Rex patted her shoulder, a gesture that made Ahsoka oddly sad. Like the rest of his kin, he was unable to have natural children, a choice denied to them by design. Ahsoka was certain he was a natural father, that one day he'd have his own sprawl of younglings to dote around. His current military commitments also prevented him from adoption, but Ahsoka would help him when the time came, if that truly was his desire. After all, his mandatory retirement was coming up faster than she'd like to admit.

“Mind yourself, young one” Anakin said from her other shoulder. He must have sensed her thoughts wandering away from herself. She withdrew her hand. They needed her focused on the battle ahead.

Anakin was putting on a good act, but she could feel something of a tension distorting the Force around him, mirroring her own unease. It wouldn't be long now.

The brilliant white that surrounded the ship suddenly rushed towards them and dissolved into pinpricks scattered across the intimate darkness of real space. It felt as though they were in a submersible, breaking the surface of water and emerging into open air. 

She held her breath in her lungs as they waited for the command centre to make its snap assessment. The light would turn either a muted blue or a dingy yellow based on whether they'd be flying into an immediately hostile environment or not.

Usually Ahsoka and Anakin would be on the bridge making that determination for themselves, they were the ranking officers after all. Anakin's plan, however, was predicated on the need to strike the enemy as hard and as fast as possible, just as they dropped out of hyperspace. It was their best chance at making sure the situation didn't deteriorate any further. They'd left control in the hands of the ship's captain, a short and rather terse human, albeit one with an exceptionally sharp mind. Unfortunately, she also seemed to regard impropriety and lack of discipline as a sign of weakness and insult. This had grated more than once against Ahsoka and her Master's more lackadaisical approach to leadership over the course of the expedition. 

It’d been a long three weeks, not least because it had taken them longer than it should have to reach the system. They'd diverted to answer a particularly upsetting distress call from a civilian flotilla on the verge of capture by opportunistic slavers. Pirates ventured worryingly far into Republican territory these days, thanks to the distraction of the war. It’d still been the right call, of course, even despite the delay. To help people in need was the highest calling of the Order, but that meant that Cato Neimoidia was now in a more precarious position than if they'd gone directly. Anakin would never have forgiven himself if he'd let innocents fall into the clutches of slavery, and to be honest, neither would she.

A few seconds passed before the sickly glow popped on with a click. The area surrounding the ship was unsafe. A worm of fear roiled in Ahsoka's stomach before she could suppress it and the sensation passed to Anakin who looked towards her. Sympathy danced across his irises as he gave her arm a reassured squeeze.

Then they moved. Anakin, Ahsoka and all of the clones assigned to pilot duty strode through the great doors that lead to the shielded hanger, a heavy rainfall of footfalls filling the vast emptiness with a steady background of noise. A great split opened in the middle of the ceiling and pulled the roof apart to allow the small craft nesting inside it to escape. Ahsoka walked with purpose across the greymetal floor, R7 trailing behind her.

As she hopped into her personal fighter the initial dread had tapered away and excitement flared up in its place. The durasteel restraints released with a heavy clunk and she felt the chassis drop free.

 _This is where the fun begins_ , as her Master was so fond of saying. It felt oddly appropriate in that moment.

Her starfighter, a slight, agile thing, pushed away from the platform and through the gap.

She fell. 

She fell through the vivid darkness of space, the looming behemoth of a planet painting itself into the background of her vision. She fell and as she did, she reoriented herself, became one with the motion of her ship, its up became hers and its down became hers and then she was there. Calibrated for flight, ready to truly fly.

A switch was flicked and the concentrated white cone of her thrusters jumped into life and propelled her forward. She took stock of the battle and noted and marked the positions of important ships and laid the geometry of it into her brain.

Vultures had swarmed towards the Republic cruisers, leading the charge ahead of the slower classes of Separatist ship. The gloom surrounding them didn’t stay that way for long, giant bolts of red and blue and green sparkled across the inky field, ray shields absorbing the opening blows with ripples of white.

She looked around and found herself flanked by clones, soldiers she recognised. There was Scar and K-Caf and Oiler. She knew their ships as she knew them, little ticks and quirks that notch individuality into the hulls, marking them with personality. And then there was Anakin in his ship, as lithe as hers, R2 peeking out of the smooth hull.

She saw an opening and dived towards it, a small, tactile press into the joystick and fired off lasers that streak from her ship in lines reminiscent of glowing hovertrain tracks that converge at a distance. She caught a tri-fighter on its pass under her, it's shields giving a momentary pulse of resistance before the ignited plasma pushes through, striking at the metal of the ship itself. Pieces of black hull pulled apart with a brilliant flash of purple tinged flames.

The image pressed into her mind, an afterburn of light that seared itself into her brain, like lights in the dark that imprint themselves on hapless retina long after any illumination is lost.

Her eyes traced the battlefield, and she drew upon the natural hunting instinct dwelling within herself, searching for her next prey. It felt like the hunting holiday, a memory from when she was younger. Master Ti had gathered a group of younglings like her, carnivorous species with razors poking from their mouths and focused, narrow eyes, and taken them into the wilderness. A few humans had apparently asked to come along but Master Ti had rebuffed their efforts.

“Omnivores like them don't count.” She had whispered to the group, a conspiratorial grin playing at her mouth. “Their stomachs can't handle all that unrefined meat!”

She doesn't remember the name of the planet anymore, but it had been filled to the brim with dense groupings of trees, aromatic air thick with moisture, and teaming with _life_. 

She remembered every detail fondly. The blood that rapidly flowed through her veins as she hunted. The hormones that surged in her brain as she made a kill. The indulgent feast with an actual Jedi Master afterwards, one that had made her and her fellow learners feel just a little more like adults, like equals, like _Jedi_. The pleasant heat of the fire as it lapped across her skin, pulling her into a contented sleep.

It had only been for a couple of days, and it felt so long ago now, but whenever she was in a battle she remembered the lessons she had learnt back then. 

She knew it was different for her Master, a distinct contrast of their respected biologies. She could tell that he still got a thrill from it, his Force projections became even wilder and more scattered than usual, but the feeling wasn't the same. It was more of a low rush, something that pooled in the stomach. All humans experienced it, an exhilarated adrenaline spike when they were high off the ground, when they moved fast, when they tumbled through the sky. Transferred into the Force it left Ahsoka too dizzy to concentrate when she held on for too long. When Anakin was like this she let it hit her in small, unfocused bursts that prickled and rushed along her nerves.

She wondered if the same was true for Anakin, whether he felt her rush of hormones as a punch or a nausea wave to the stomach.

She fired off another volley and a juddered satisfaction edged into her as the blasts melted through beige durasteel. The tactic was divide and conquer. The clones smashed into the wall of Separatist droids and divided them. She darted about and sniped away any that become removed from their formations, conquering them. It was simple and it worked, the AI of the Trade Federation rebels still unable to keep up with the consistent disruptions of their patterns.

“Ahsoka, our mission is to get the gunships down to the planet's surface.” Anakin said as the comm crackled into life, drowning out the muted sounds of engine and blaster and cockpit. “Punch a hole for them to get through.”

His serious mission voice was on play, though Ahsoka knew that would last about as long as a lone battle droid against a lightsaber. Still, Ahsoka could be professional too, so she gathered herself, and pushed her small red ship towards the planet which sat as an oppressive wall of green, too large for the mind to truly comprehend. 

“I know the drill, Master.”

A narrow swarm of Vultures were on a direct course towards Rex and his gunships. Ahsoka tugged at the controls, spinning herself towards them. She loosed a volley of shots that slammed into the droids as she strafed across them, and aligned herself at the front of the clone formation, the remaining enemy fighters scattering away for now. 

They entered the atmosphere and approached the surface, or at least what they considered as such, the gigantic bridge cities coming into view. They were a breathtaking sight, impossibly thick steel coils of wire anchored into flat mountainside surfaces, the cities stretched out between them like hammocks lying over swirling lakes of mist and cloud. If the galaxy wasn't at war, if they didn't have the urgent push of the Council that flung them constantly across the cosmos, Ahsoka would have liked to visit this planet. Just to walk among the crowds, lean over the edge, marvel at these people, living their lives suspended so far away from the ground. Like a Coruscant without the smog and constant glow.

A natural arch of stone stood in front of them, Separatist gunships flanking the sides and holding the population to ransom. Speed was the aim here. They had to break the Separatist chokehold before they could retaliate. Level the playing field, defend the innocent.

The Confederate battleships opened at the sides, tri-fighters spilling out of the newly formed gashes like marbles from a box. They formed up into their classic triangular formations and maneuvered to intercept Anakin and his battlegroup from behind. Several clone fighters went down in quick succession before they could reorient. 

“Lookout, incoming missiles!” Ahsoka shouted as she caught a streak of electric blue on the sensors. As the missile got close she pulled her ship into a tight roll, whilst Anakin barely tipped his wing and still managed to avoid getting hit. 

“No problem.” Anakin said, the smugness practically dripping from his voice. 

Ahsoka was about to fire off a response when the missile exploded in front of them. Buzz droids. Annoying little balls of mechanical mayhem that zipped towards them at an unsettling speed, colliding into Anakin, leaving his ship riddled.

“Er, slight problem!” Anakin said, though his voice didn't suggest anything like concern. A telltale sign that he was having fun. Anakin's penchant for actually _enjoying_ dangerous situations was a definite positive of having him as a Master.

“Ahsoka, I've got buzz droids! How bad did you get hit?”

_Oh right. Should probably pay attention to that._

When Ahsoka looked however, she couldn't see a single one.

“I'm… all clear.” she said, in slight disbelief. They'd all gone onto her Master's ship?

_Oh, that's priceless!_

“What?” Anakin spluttered with a breathless laugh. “You always have it easy, Snips.”

Buzz droids began dropping from Anakin's ship as R2 and Anakin dispatched them with a practised routine. 

“Someday, these droids will learn they keep messing with the wrong Jedi!”

“Looks like you're clear!”

“Just keep watching and learning, Padawan!” said Anakin, the smug tone having crept back into his voice. Ahsoka barely had the time to feel exasperated before a thin string of black gas began trailing behind Anakin's ship.

“Oh no.” she heard through the comm.

“You're trailing smoke. What's wrong?”

“Oh, nothing serious.” Anakin replied, though he sounded a lot less assured. “Just a small malfunction.”

This was followed by a cry and the incessant beeping of an alarm before Anakin's comms cut out. Well that _wasn't_ good.

“Master? Master, come in! R2, what's going on over there?”

R2 replied with a short string of desperate binary. 

“Unconscious?” 

_Typical_. 

“Fly back to the cruiser.” Captain Tyrona could deal with him. R2's reply was not encouraging. Or polite. 

“What do you mean ‘there's something wrong with the engines?’”

_Typical!_

“Tip your wing, and I'll see how bad it is.”

What R2 revealed was not good at all. Buzz droids swarmed across the underside of Anakin's fighter, like insects on a Bantha corpse.

“Oh that's not good.”

R2 fired off a short question in binary. 

“Well… let's just say now would be a good time to land.”

_Honestly, Anakin bragged, actually bragged, about the number of times he's saved Master Kenobi's skin, and then he does something like this! And he's not even awake to see me rescue him! I'm not even going to get the satisfaction of rubbing it in his face! Typical!!_

Ahsoka quickly scanned their surroundings. The pair of fighters were hurtling towards a mountain, a small strip of cliff jutting out of the side.

“R2, can you land the fighter on that cliff ledge?”

Again R2 was not polite as he protested the situation.

_Sometimes he's just as bad as Anakin!_

“Urgh, I don't _care_ if the landing zone is too short! Just get that ship on the ground! R7, take over the ship, I'm going after Anakin.”

R7, who, frankly, had a lot more manners than his blue counterpart, whistled an acknowledgement. The roof of the ship popped up as Ahsoka scrabbled at the emergency release. 

“Somebody has to save him.” She muttered as the stood up. She gathered her sense of the Force and pushed out, feeling both craft as they sliced through the air. The sea of air, in her heightened state, whirled and wormed in whorls that glided across her skin. R2 slammed the yellow fighter into the ground and Ahsoka sensed her moment. She leapt from the bow of her own ship and collided into Anakin's hull. She tumbled away immediately, unable to keep any footing, but managed to find purchase on the smooth lip of the cockpit as she scrambled with her hands. 

True to R2's word, Anakin lay in the cockpit, red emergency beacons illuminated his unmoving face, giving it an unnatural and sickened hue. R2 shouted a warning in binary, and Ahsoka glanced up. The cliff edge was hurtling closer and closer, and Ahsoka didn't have time to consider what to do. She ignited her long blade and sliced into the transparisteel dome, grabbing Anakin around the chest and hauling him up. With barely a look backwards, she collected her strength in the Force and pushed them both away. 

They landed on the hard surface of the cliff, rolling with carried momentum from the ship, but Ahsoka slowed them to a halt before they could reach the edge.

The ship wasn't so lucky, and it tumbled off into the fog below.

“R2!” she shouted scanning the dust clouds for the little astromech.

_No no no no! Please be OK! R2!_

She frantically leapt to her feet and peered into the depths where an orange burst of light bloomed at the tail of the plume erupting from Anakin's ship. 

Her breath wouldn't release from her lungs. Her nervous system seemed to freeze as a vicious spike danced along her spine. 

And then she saw him, the small droid pushing himself up with the thrusters Anakin had installed in him before they'd met, ostensibly to “make him flashier”. An exhilarated burst of binary spilled out of the droid, and Ahsoka felt herself unstick, breath rushing out of her throat as a sigh.

“Very funny R2.”

R2 replied with an update on Anakin, the crash having jolted him into consciousness. 

“Are you OK, Master?”

“Uh… yeah. What'd I miss?”

_Oh this was gonna be fun._

“Oh, not much.”

“Wait a minute, wasn't I flying? Where's my fighter? How'd I get here?!”

“Fighter crashed, I saved the day. You're welcome.”

Anakin let out a laugh as he got to his feet. 

“Alright.” he said and looked into his communicator. “Captain Rex, Soka and I need a little help.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth in preparation for an “I saved you” party, but Anakin's comm started indicating a message almost immediately.

“Sir, message from the Jedi Temple has arrived for you.”

“Thanks Captain. Patch it through.”

The small, flickering form of Yoda appeared on Anakin's wrist. He seemed a little more dour than his usual self, no smile greeted them. Important business then.

“Master Yoda.”

“Return to the Jedi Temple quickly, you should. You and your Padawan.”

“We're, uh, kinda busy, Master Yoda.”

“The reason we need you, important it is, Skywalker. Bombed, the Temple hanger, someone has.”

Ahsoka didn't hear the rest.

It wasn't like in holovids or dramas where a piercing whine would fill the air as a shocking revelation dropped. It was just… nothing. No sound got through to her at all. She could see her Master frowning as he studied the hologram of the Temple, a line of flickering blue pooling from the hanger. She could see his lips moving but still there was no sound.

Ahsoka hadn't believed it would happen. Not really. She never thought Barriss truly capable, even though evidence had been all but thrust at her. She didn't think the Temple could ever get damaged, either. It was untouchable. Should be untouchable. She had truly believed it would stay standing for the rest of time. It had to. It was her _home_.

“Ahsoka!”

Oh, Anakin was grasping her shoulders. She slowly tilted her head and looked into his eyes. They were wide, his brow creased a little and his mouth hadn't quite made it all the way to closing.

“Yes?” She said, though she didn't know why. It was like it wasn't really her voice, just a droid in her brain running things on automatic.

“We lost you there for a moment, Snips. Everything OK?”

“Um. Yes. No. I…” She took a pause, long and deep. It was now or never. 

“I know who bombed the Temple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I'm back! I didn't feel as motivated to write over the holidays for some reason, but I'm back on the train now...
> 
> Also I was originally going to change this scene from its original Clone Wars appearance, but I felt it was important to leave it like this for the rest of the story.
> 
> Next time we'll catch up with Barriss. Wonder what she's been up to :)


	6. Chapter 6

The day was finally here. 

It seemed strange, almost surreal in a way, how it had seemed to sneak up on Barriss. She had been planning and waiting for so long and yet it had never seemed like it would actually arrive. Now that it was finally here it felt almost mundane in its actual flavour. An orange afterglow of dawn was fading into the pleasant yellow of morning, the industrial haze causing great streaks of light across the sky wherever sun met the occasional cloud. Hard to believe what was about to happen.

The polishing cloth in her hand swept across the mirror in front of her as she neared the end of her ritual clean. Her room was spotless now. Too restless to actually sleep, Barriss had whiled away her nerves through the night with water and disinfectant as her only company. The glass surface seemed to shimmer as she pulled the cloth away, a perfect pool of silver adorning the sink of her quarters. She studied her own reflection for a few moments. Everything had to be exactly so, and she noted with a small puff of satisfaction that it was. Her headscarf was wound, tight and smooth across her forehead, no stray wisps escaped its black embrace. Her cloak was fastened around her neck and the hood came creaseless as it rested loosely over the dark curve where her hair would be. Her eyes-

She leaned closer.

Her eyes. 

Had they always been this colour? Had they always been this… _beautiful?_ They must have been, but she’d never stopped to actually notice. Too busy training, too busy running errands for Master Unduli, too busy being a _pawn_ for the Council. Still here they were, her pupils ringed with the most exquisite golden halos and rivers of that same colour snaked paths that cracked and flowed across the oceans of her blue irises.

 _Magnificent_ she thought to herself, as a prideful shudder skittered over the flesh of her arms and raised goosebumps in its wake.

She allowed herself a moment more to indulge in the sight before she straightened up and moved from the room. The timing needed to be right, she couldn’t miss this, she _wouldn’t_.

This was, after all, the most important day of her life.

Buoyed by the calm of her preparations in the early hours, Barriss could barely contain herself as moved through the halls of the Jedi Temple with her usual quiet grace. She fought her lips as a smile threatened to erupt onto her face. Her head was bowed so no one could see, but it was so hard to suppress. A giggle bubbled up through her and escaped before she clamped a hand to her mouth. A quick glance around told her no one was there to see her shameful weakness, but being cautious never hurt.

_Needn’t give away the game just yet._

All her tireless work had paid off, this was the day that the Jedi would be shown the error of their ways. In her heart she knew that they would change their course, throw off the shackles of the Dark Side and move once again into the Light. Even though she wouldn’t see it come to fruition, Barriss couldn’t be more excited.

With Ahsoka off planet no-one could stop her.

She took the chronometer buried within her robes out and checked the time. 

Perfect! Exactly enough time for her to move to a vantage point above the docking bay. She quickened her movement slightly, not quite a run but the thought was there.

Stairs disappeared beneath her feet as she moved up through the Temple's skeleton to a secluded alcove overlooking the vast space of the Jedi spaceport. She had picked this space out weeks ago. It was of a height at which she could observe the fireworks below, but not get caught up in the resulting mess of the explosion. 

Upon reaching the spot, she crouched on the durasteel lip that jutted from the high wall. Barriss surveyed the scene, in her mind a silent judge overseeing the justice about to be incurred. She saw the throng of people moving about their day, all with their own jobs and tasks, workers in a humming machine. 

Just then Barriss spotted what she had been looking for. It was the familiar face of a man she had never met as he approached the barrier. He moved across the floor with the veteran confidence of someone who had walked the same route again and again for the last twenty years. 

Twenty years. 

Twenty years of injustice as he was allowed to live humbly whilst he served the Jedi. Twenty years following an Order which had secretly morphed into the very thing it seeked to destroy.

Barriss knew she was right.

His sacrifice was not only for the sake of the Jedi, but all those who believed in their ideals. Every acolyte of the Light, Jedi and otherwise, would be galvanised by his death. The Jedi would return to their rightful path and peace and harmony would return to the Galaxy once more. No more innocents would look into her eyes as the life drained from them, no more _children_ would have their bodies strewn indiscriminately across battlefields. It had to end and this was how it needed to be done. The Council could only be shaken from their violence with violence in return. They no longer had ears for anything else. The Jedi had to be redeemed once again for there to be a real changing force in the Galaxy, to break the cycle of war.

Jackar was almost across the threshold, now. The moment had arrived. 

Barriss looked at all of the faces in the small crowd and vowed to memorise each one, to remind herself of why she was doing this and to honour their memories. Their sacrifice was for all those who had not yet been cast callously into the nets of the Dark Side, by uncaring Masters.

Like she had been.

Then she saw something that she hadn't anticipated. 

It was a face in the crowd that she recognised. The boy with dark locks and a grubby flight suit jumped off his small ship and was making his way to the ground crew, a huge grin on his face. An engineer ruffled his hair as he got close and he ducked away, scraping at his head with a mock horror.

Tutso Mara.

He had once been one of Barriss’ best...friends from her Initiate days, before she had been paired with Luminara. He’d always been there during their training to give advice, or more often receive it with a sheepish smile. Even after they had both been paired, he had kept up a light friendship with occasional messages and invites to Padawan outings into the city. Barriss had neglected it as of late, like all her other connections, purposefully shutting herself away from other Jedi. But then she had spoken to him just last month, completely by chance. A near miss in the corridors, he had been his usual bubbly self about the ordeal, waving off her apologies without hesitation. Always passionate about something, he had filled her in on his goings on, but now he spoke with a subtle, maintained calm that marked him as a Jedi to be.

A horror slowly dawned on Barriss. She realised that he was one of the innocents that she was trying to save. He had no hand in the corruption of the Council or the degradation of the Galaxy. He hadn’t yet been turned by the evils of the war and the Masters’ wretchedness, she was sure of it.

She couldn't let him die, he didn't deserve this. 

_None of them do._

The thought shocked her, as if out of a trance. The seed of doubt placed into the back of her head by Ahsoka had bloomed now, its tendrils seeped into her brain, clearing through the fog of her anger and disgust and hate.

 _Hate?_

That wasn’t right, she didn’t hate, did she? That wasn’t the Jedi way.

_Of course it's not. You aren’t a Jedi, not since the Council corrupted you, not since she abandoned you!_

_But..._

_Let him go. Attachment is weakness, remember? You have to be strong, and finish this, for everyone's sake._

There was something wrong with the logic of the argument, but she couldn’t quite pin it down. It flittered just out of her vision, and always darted away at the exact moment she turned her head.

_Finish it!_

_No! Ahsoka was right. I… What am I doing?_

Jackar was so close. She couldn’t let this happen. She had to stop this, cure her doubts before she committed a mistake that was truly horrifying.

But it was too late.

She desperately tried to cry out, to scream his name in warning, but when the words came out she could not hear them. A roaring thunder drowned out any other sounds as Jackar took his last step and the hangar exploded. 

Time seemed to slow as the shockwave blasted out from the spot where he had been standing and a blinding light followed in its wake. The flames moved outward in all directions, engulfing the faces that Barriss had just been looking at, etched into her memory like grim stelai.

She couldn’t bare to look for very long. As soon as the first face disappeared into the fire she felt a gigantic shock in her head; the most intense pain that she had ever experienced. It didn't stop there, however. As the next face, and every other sapient being after that, joined the others in the unstoppable wall of death, the feeling grew in intensity.

Barriss couldn't stand the experience and screwed her eyes up tight. All she could see behind her eyelids was Padawan Mara. She brought her hands up to her ears and pressed them into the side of her head with as much force as she could muster. She was trying to keep the feeling, the sounds, the heat from forcing their way into her brain but it wasn't working. She buckled over as the slow motion force continued on its terrible path and opened her mouth again. A wordless shout came from within, as if Barriss was trying to expel the pain from herself with noise.

The flames licked across her dark skin and as she smelled the burning flesh in the acrid smoke she fell forward.

Barriss jolted up, her mouth still screaming, but this time the noise came out, and rang in her ears.

She opened her eyes to find not the Temple hangar in front of her, bathed in the warm tones of sunshine and immolation, but a darkness that shrouded her room. The light from the artificial activity that characterised night time on Coruscant spilled in from the window high on her wall. 

Her sense of panic was stilled slightly but she was far from relaxed. Her breathing was almost at hyperventilation level, a definite sign of an oncoming panic attack.

_I need to calm down._

This was the thought going through her head. She had experienced this before, it was never easy to deal with. Tears fell from her eyes, as she grasped at the centre of her chest, as if she could push through the skin and slow her runaway heartbeat. 

_I'm safe. No-one is dead. It was just a dream. I'm safe. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me. I am one with the Force and the Force is with me._

After a short while of repetition her breathing slowed and the unconscious flow of tears stopped descending her cheeks. She unclenched the muscles of her arms, her legs, her stomach, and collapsed back onto the mattress. She spent the next couple of minutes just staring at the ceiling trying to decipher her dream.

_Was it even a dream?_

The details that flooded her mind were just as fresh and vivid as any memory and she had to wonder whether what she saw was just imagination or perhaps something more. The experience had been slightly unfocused. Almost hazy around the edges, like a dream. But there had been something so real about it, so clear. As if she were being shown a holovid by someone… Or something. Something like the Force. 

_A vision!_

She paled as she realised what she had to do.

There was only one Master who dealt with visions. Everyone knew that, from youngling to Master. She needed help to interpret this, if this had been a vision of the future or even a warning she couldn't let it come to pass. If she allowed what she had felt just then to happen then she could not achieve her goals. She would only bring more misery to an already miserable Galaxy.

She steeled herself for another trip to the meditation chambers.

**—**

“Master Yoda, are visions from the Force always destined to come to pass?”

Yoda furrowed his brow. When Padawan Offee had come to see him, he had expected some philosophy. Despite her still young age, she was a serious and academically curious student of the Force. It was reminiscent of Master Nu when she was but a teenager, though she had had a stronger grasp on the importance of recreation than Barriss seemed to. That time too was not so long ago to Yoda's centuries, but likely an age to the small one in front of him. 

He wondered what Offee would think if he told her some stories of Jocasta's wild past. Almost enough to bring a smirk to an old man's lips. Almost.

Truly he hadn't expected her to be seeking guidance over visions, though. So few Jedi still had them. Only those whose connection to the Force was strong enough to pierce the ever growing shroud of doubt that blanketed the future, experienced them anymore, and they were usually a jumbled mess. A reality brought on by the very presence of Sith in their midst. For someone new to get a vision… 

This was an unusual situation indeed, perhaps even troubling.

The question she had asked was interesting certainly, and even though he had answered it countless times in countless different ways over the years, the answer never quite came out the same as it did the last time. That in itself wasn't too surprising, the Force was, by definition, always in flux. It was a shifting and living mass of energy that acted and reacted to the constant, unyielding motion of life. The Force of yesterday was not the same as that of tomorrow, and so too were the answers to the very questions of its nature. Now more than ever this was true. 

Yoda regarded Barriss as she sat opposite him. Her back was straight and her eyes were closed as she rested in the lightest of meditative forms. Though she was trying just a little to hard to appear less tense than she actually was, shattering the illusion of serenity. As a youngling, her interactions with him were few and far between, even as he had trained her. Yoda had been fairly surprised that she had come to him for help at all. She had always been a prideful child, often too stubborn to ask for assistance and under the impression that reaching out would be the same as accepting failure. He had tried to steer her from this, but it was hard to do when hundreds of younglings had the same disposition. He was glad that she appeared to have moved past this. Many others had carried far too much pride and superiority, and not nearly enough humility, into Knighthood.

Dooku in particular came to mind.

“Hmmm. Always in motion, The Force is.” he replied, eventually. “Certain, the future never is. A premonition, you have had?”

Barriss now shifted from her flawless kneel uncomfortably. Her eyes were already downcast as she opened them, as if she were ashamed at the answer she was about to give. 

“Yes, Master Yoda. I have seen destruction…” Her fingers twitched as she squeezed their grip on her robes. “And death.”

It always came back to death, these days. The death of a peer, the death of a Master. There were no Jedi left who hadn't experienced some form of loss over the course of the conflict. Barriss had survived the Battle of Geonosis, enough to scar any seasoned Jedi, and she had been just a newly minted Padawan, tagging along with her Master on what was meant to be a bloodless rescue mission. It was entirely possible that her vision was the manifestation of these horrors given life by her connection to the Force, but Yoda sensed something else at work.

“Ah, death.” he said, rubbing a claw against the creases of his chin.” Of yourself, do you speak? Or of those around you?”

“I see...people, dying. People who I don't want to die. People who...don't deserve it.”

“Careful you must be, Padawan Offee. Awaits us all, death does. A natural part of life, it is. Despair not in the death of others, this is the path to attachment, to hate. Learn to let go of those who join the Living Force.”

Barriss’ usually emotionless face twitched with expression for a moment and Yoda felt a slip of anger.

“Are you saying I should forget about those that have died in this war? That their deaths were natural?”

“Forget? Forget, you say? No Padawan. Forget you must not. But their memories, cherish you must. Mourn not their death, but rejoice in their life and their oneness with the Force. Natural, war is not. The work of the Sith Lord, this conflict is. But if fight, we do not, then many more unnatural deaths, occur they will. Give up, we cannot. Won then, the Dark Side will have. The most lives possible, we must save. Unfortunate, it is that this is the path to that goal. But better than the alternative, it is.”

Barriss couldn't answer, but Yoda could see that she was considering his words. He felt her frustration in the Force and knew that she was trying. It was the hardest when they tried. When they were filled with disagreement at his words and would still try to take them in. It was hard because there was nothing he could do to help the process. It was something the student needed to do themselves. Qui-Gon had struggled too, to take in his wisdom, but eventually he had found his way. Not quite the path that the Council would've liked, but it was one that fit him. Had fit him. 

Only time would tell what journey the Force would take Barriss.

“Premonitions. These premonitions, see them clearly do you?” Yoda asked, an effort to guide the conversation back to its original purpose. 

“Yes, Master. My visions are extreme and...vivid, Master. I cannot let them come to pass.”

Yoda sat there in near silence for a while and closed his eyes. A dim glow in his meditation room filled the air with just enough light filtered through the blinds so that those who came to see him could concentrate. His many years as a Master had left him with the knowledge of how to calm people, and what sort of environments were conducive to that end. The Jedi that came for his counselling were often more relaxed and forthcoming in this room than they ever were to even their own Masters. He had often consulted those who became wracked with visions of the Living Force, despite the growing rarity of those visits. 

Again something unique about Barriss’ predicament spoke to him. That a Padawan was experiencing premonitions when almost all of the Jedi had become blind to the future suggested the work of the Sith in this matter. He had to be careful of his own advice, in case it lead Barriss into a path inward. Her own emotions could very well overwhelm her and seduce her towards the Dark Side.

The Force wanted him to help her, but he could only do so if she was willing to receive his counsel. Coming here was at least indicative of a desire to learn. 

“Hmmm.” Yoda sighed. “Vivid, you say? Troubling, very troubling. Deceptive, our visions have become. Clouded we are, by the dark side. But clear your visions are?”

“What does it mean, Master?” Barriss’ voice betrayed worry as she picked up on the broad hints that lay in his words.

Yoda felt Barriss’ emotions emanate through the Force once again. She was still trying. 

“Clarified by your emotions, your visions are. Strong, you are letting your emotions become. Dangerous this is, very dangerous. The path to the Dark Side, this is. The clearer your visions become, the more clouded your thoughts will be. Conceal your emotions well, you do, young Padawan. But under control, they are not. To hide something is not the same as to become its master. A caged animal, your emotions are. Tame them, you must. Afraid of them, you must never be.”

“Fear leads to anger.” she recited, but Yoda was not sure how sincere it was. He chuckled anyway, not letting his worries reach his face.

“Just so, Padawan. Learn to let go of your emotions, you must. Your anger, your fear, your hate. Flow through you, you must let them, and then dissipate, they truly will. Only then can you walk the path of the Jedi. Meditate in this matter, you must. Only then, the truth in your premonition will you find.”

“I…” Barriss looked like she wanted to say something else, something to contradict him, something born of anger. But then she took a moment and a breath, and thought better of it. 

Barriss stood from her cushion and performed a formal courtesy towards Yoda. “I will Master. Thank you for talking with me.”

_Only time will tell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's Barriss! The next chapter will focus on her as well, but Ahsoka is coming back soon enough!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Barriss flew from the room, afraid that to stay any longer would have led her to say something regretful. She tried to concentrate and absorb all that had been passed to her from Master Yoda. The thoughts swirled through her, laced with implications. She had gone to him, maybe reluctantly and without much optimism, but she had done it all the same, and for a specific reason. To seek clarification. If anything, she was more confused now than ever. 

Her mind was being torn in multiple directions at once and she needed those disparate forces to stop. If she could just find a quiet place, and given enough time, maybe she could still the thoughts. Sort them out and categorise them so that they didn't contradict each other all at once.

As long she didn't have anymore distractions.

“Replaced me already, I see.”

Barriss whipped around at the voice, its cadence heavy with comfortable authority. The familiar form of a woman stood at a lean against the wall off to the side of Yoda's consultation chambers. Even at the angle which she rested at, the woman's form still reached an impressive height. Familiar black fabric draped over her body and her head was topped out by a wide, veil-suspending headdress that covered over any hair that would be on display. She remembered staring into the inky depths of that cloak as a youngling and getting herself lost in its folds. Anxiety spiked at her as she recalled the sensation.

It took Barriss a moment to remember the protocol that would be _exact and correct_ in this situation, but quickly stiffened and lowered her top half into a deep bow.

“Master Unduli. I didn't realise you were due back at the Temple so soon.”

She straightened back into an upright position but kept her head downcast, unwilling to let Luminara see the chaos that swirled unbidden just behind her eyes. Heavy footfalls approached and she tensed as a hand landed firmly on her shoulder. Barriss dared to glance up and found Luminara towering above her, a bemused and soft smile worn across her face without reserve as she peered down at her.

“I've told you before Barriss. There's no need to stand on ceremony with me. Especially not now!”

Some of the tension eased away as Barriss forced her muscles to release themselves from the rigid lock she held them in. Luminara continued to smile and a certain light joviality danced across her eyes. For a second Barriss thought that Luminara would move for an embrace, but then the moment passed.

“Still I suppose I should be impressed. Moving your way up the Council chain of command, I assume? Impressive! You always were ambitious…”

“I would never!” Barriss felt her cheeks flush. She knew, logically, that Luminara was teasing her, but the defensive thought still jumped out of her before she could think to contain it.

_Liar. You hate her, remember? Or was that just another lie you told yourself? That is the coward's way, I suppose…_

“Oh? Just a casual tea session then? Making friends with the Grand Master of the Order?”

“I went to him for advice, Master.”

“Hmm! From where I'm standing it certainly _sounds_ like you've replaced me! Can I ask what you went to him for advice about?”

“Of course you can, Master.”

“Well It's just…” Luminara sighed, and looked away with an exaggerated forlornness. “I wouldn't want to step of the toes of your new teacher…”

“Master!” Barriss cried, but she found her lips twitching towards an unconscious smile. The very fact that Luminara still had that sort of hold on her was frustrating to say the least. No one would ever believe her if she told them that the publicly serious and ordered Master Unduli was prone to this sort of behaviour.

Well, maybe Master Kenobi would.

Apparently satisfied Luminara held up her hands in mock defeat and gestured for Barriss to continue.

Barriss held a miniature debate on whether to tell her, but she figured that Yoda would inform her sooner or later. It would be better if she told her straight away.

“I had a… premonition, Master.”

Luminara stiffened at that. Not obviously, but enough that Barriss could read it in her face. The playful glint that had been there moments before drained away into a cautious reserve.

“That's… I hope our esteemed leader was able to assist you?”

Barriss bristled at the worry that laced Luminara's tone. Of all the reactions she had expected and feared from her, pity was not one that Barriss had wanted from her. That, combined with Yoda treating her like a _youngling_ , Barriss felt a spike of pure emotion flare inside her. She clamped down on it immediately, but knew that it had irradiated into the Force for just a moment. Luminara's brows slumped at the sides, the silent outburst only seemed to redouble the pity from her Master.

Luminara drew herself together and held her long, cloaked sleeves joined at their mouths. The sense of being a child under observation had not diminished.

“He wasn't able to help you then?”

“He… Master Yoda is very wise. We talked of life and death and all manner of topics. But when we got to my premonition…”

Her resolve crumpled. Exhaustion burned through Barriss’ veins like a river of pyroclastic. It subsumed her very being. Her vision wavered between blurred and crisp as she tried to concentrate on _anything._

“He just didn't know! He simply threw platitudes at me, and then had the gall to accuse me of not understanding basic Jedi practises! He said I've been collecting my emotions and suppressing them!”

“Well, have you?”

That stung. She _would_ take his side, a fellow member of the Council was much more believable than the Padawan that you've trained for years.

“You still don't trust me…” 

The words dripped from her mouth, so much quieter than she wanted. She desired to be strong and to be seen as capable, but her voice betrayed her.

“Barriss that's not what–!” Master Unduli let out a frustrated sigh.

“It's not something you can just learn, Barriss. It's not a piece of knowledge, it's a skill.”

“I know that! Why does everyone insist on talking to me like I'm an idiot!”

“We aren't, Barriss! Please listen, I'm not trying to talk down to you! To be able to release your emotions is a skill. And as such you have to work at it. Constantly. Even if it seems like you've mastered it, you can get thrown off balance by the smallest act and you have to start all over again. I know it sounds like condescension but I've run into this before, too! I know full well that once you've had your faith shaken it's hard… so very hard to claw yourself back to being in control of yourself. To be one with your own mind again. And what I'm trying to say is that… You're not alone Barriss. I _will_ help you, however I can. And so will the rest of your friends. What happened was awful, Barriss, but you don't have to learn this all again by yourself!”

The air seemed opaque around them as a silence rushed into the vacuum left by the end of Luminara's speech. Eventually Luminara returned to herself.

“Take a walk with me?” she asked, lacing the words with an unsaid hope. A hope for what, Barriss couldn't say.

_Obedience, maybe?_ It was a thought that presented itself as a certainty, but Barriss was not in a solid position for knowing her own mind, and the confusion continued to buzz like so much noise.

Barriss almost refused. She almost fled the scene to protect herself from what she felt could be another oncoming rebuke. A number of excuses blossomed in her imagination that would let her extradite herself from her Master as soon as possible. But in the end she found herself weakened. She needed to know what Luminara was going to say, and was held captive by intrigue at what the implications could hold. 

So she gave in and acquiesced to her base desire for curiosity. The _need_ to know.

Most of their journey was made in silence. As they moved through the sweeping corridors, a calmed atmosphere settled over the pair. Barriss kept her eyes downward, focused on the carpet in front of her. The sea of soft red was not so old, installed during the last upgrade of the upholstery, though that was before Barriss would have ever paid much attention to such things. The Architect, that time at least, had had a penchant for regality, which translated into the deep crimson that now dominated the colourings of the Temple interior. Now that she kept her eyes affixed to it, she noticed small details like speckled white dots and the beginnings of the fraying that would signal an end to the current design after a few cycles around the Coruscanti sun. She didn't dwell on the fact that she was most definitely avoiding eye contact with her Master, and pretended to herself that she really did care about the aesthetics.

Eventually they reached the gardens, an expansive collection of colour that nested over several levels of the Temple's exterior. As they stepped out into the open, Barriss instinctively wrapped her arms against herself as the slight chill of the air sparkled over her exposed skin. Grey clouds hung overcast across the length of the sky and desaturated the usual vibrance of the grass.

“You've been ready for the trials for a while, Barriss.”

Luminara said this casually, as she reached out to brush her fingers along the leaves of a branch hanging low across the winding duracrete path. It isn't where Barriss expected her to start. But it does capture her attention, and she focused her vision back upright as they strolled along.

“I know you think I've been holding you back. That I've been keeping you from them because I don't think you can do it. I know because… well, that's what I would think, if I were in your position.”

She exhaled, and paused, turning to look at Barriss directly.

“We’re so alike, in some ways. Not in every respect, but we both learn in the same way, and we both react to the rigours of stress in the same way. It's why we make such a good teaching pair, I suppose. I don't think you would have flourished half as well under a Master like Secura or, Force forbid, Skywalker!”

She glanced over at Barriss briefly.

“I suppose that sounds immodest, doesn't it? But I truly believe that you have done remarkably well, Barriss, and I do hope that I have contributed in some small way to your success as a student.”

Luminara reached up and plucked a piece of fruit from one of the trees and examined it. She turned it over and again under her watchful gaze. The display looked a lot like Barriss had felt during the early years of being a Padawan. An object to be examined and judged on its imperfections.

“After what...what happened. After everything that you went through, I believed you needed time. No, actually I knew you did. You needed time to rest and process your experiences. It's why I didn't bring you along this time. Initially I wished to stay, help you through it, but…”

She exhaled. A short, melancholy scoff that betrayed discontent.

“The Council required a mission from us, but I managed to negotiate your stay here at the Temple. I know I told you this at the time, but now I should tell you why. It wasn't a lack of trust Barriss, or because I had lost faith in you. It was a genuine and immediate fear for your safety. I've seen what happens when people rush back into combat. They freeze up, unable to do what they need to do to survive and in the end they… they die.”

Luminara looked back and Barriss was shocked at the grief and regret in her expression. Luminara had never been one to wear emotions upon herself so plainly. Barriss knew that she had, changed since the start of the war, but this was sharpest veer yet, another lurch towards the erraticism that had defined her behaviour as of late. Her Master seemed to be unspooling in front of her and she didn't quite know how to react.

“Why are you telling me all this?”

“Oh Barriss.” There was the pity again. “Because you deserve to know. I want you to know that I do trust you. Always. You are the best Padawan I could have hoped for. I'm so glad to have been able to teach you.”

“What are you saying?” Desperation gnawed at the edges of her speech. Luminara didn't hesitate.

“The Trials, Barriss. I'm not leaving again, until you've seen them through. I'm going to bring it up at the next Council meeting. Which, incidentally is… “ A quick glance at her chronometer. “... very shortly! I have to go, Barriss, but we can discuss this further soon, OK?”

Dazed was how Barriss was as Master Unduli retreated towards the Council Tower. The rush of information hadn't helped to ease the confusion she was in before and now she had even more data that she didn't know what to do with.

Barriss felt stretched out, like a piece of Corellian sweet string. Pulled and pulled and twisted and warped and so very close to breaking under the strain of so much pressure. She needed to make a choice. She thought she already had, when Ahsoka had left, but that had felt like self-protection. A desire to be correct and independent. That had been before the Premonition and her impromptu discussion with Yoda. Luminara's sudden appearance didn't aid matters either.

She knew what she had now chosen before she was finished.

“Dammit, Ahsoka.” she said, softly and out loud.

The next morning she made her way towards the city.

****

—

****

**  
**

Letta met her at the docks in the early hours as Coruscant's more daytime inclined headed to work and school and wherever else the day would take them. The pair had hidden the crucial element to their plans in a small alcove far from most forms of official Republic surveillance. She had sounded confused on comms but Barriss imagined that was a product of nerves. They were getting close to the timeframe Barriss had divulged to her and it was probably setting her on edge.

The dock they had chosen was bathed in a sickly red light from robotic sources that gave the whole scene an ominous flavour. Daylight was present, but it was more of an idea than anything tangible. Crates were scattered across the field and left suspended in gigantic metal claws, left as it was by the work crew when they had retired yesterday. Letta stood at the edge of the yard, shifting from one leg to the other and wringing her hands. Barriss didn't bother with much more than a greeting before she stormed past her into the dock and gestured for Letta to follow.

“Wait!” Letta cried, but Barriss didn't slow her pace.

“Wai- Barriss, stop! Slow down!”

Barriss ignored her and moved towards the mass of crates, inconspicuous and covered with drab brown sheets. She glanced over them and quickly spotted the one she needed, IA-675. She flung the doors open, and the metal creaked, a cry that betrayed its age and overuse.

It was empty.

She looked the interior up and down, but there was nothing. A week ago she had left the crate with only a single box inside, a heavy crate of nanobombs. It had been shipped here by smugglers, bought on the black market and discretely collected by her, personally. Only she and Letta knew this location.

Letta didn't know about the backups and decoys she held in other crates around the yard, but that was hardly the point. This one was gone.

She wheeled around and advanced on Letta, whose skin had drained of all colour. She backed up quickly, and put her arms out in front of her. She was clearly terrified.

“Where are they, Letta.”

“Wait, w-wait I… I can… I can explain!”

“Where. Are. They.”

“Please don't hurt me, oh please!”

Barriss huffed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I'm not going to- Look, Letta, can you just tell me what happened to them.”

“It was that person, y-your friend in the mask!”

“What. Friend.” Barriss spit out through clenched teeth.

“You know!” she said, gesturing over her face like that alone explained the whole thing.

“I don't have any friends, Letta. The only person who I told about this place. Is. You.”

Letta's face dropped.

“Oh no. Oh gods, I'm so sorry Barriss! I didn't… I didn't know! They knew the plan and everything, I just assumed... Oh please! Please don't kill me Barriss!”

“I've told you, I'm not going to, but you need to tell me everything you know about them. Now.”

One thing Barriss had learned from her dive into the murk of the underworld was that fear was a powerful motivator. If it got Letta to explain herself faster, then she mind exploiting that fact.

“Right, yeah...yeah, OK. They wore a mask and it kind of… it filtered their voice, so I couldn't really tell like accent, or… or species, or anything. But they were tall. Thin too, sort of like you, like a Jedi. Oh and they had a lightsaber, maybe even two! I saw one on their hip, so I just assumed you know? ‘Oh Barriss has recruited someone else!’ And like I said they knew the plan, so I just, uh just showed them... Um, yeah.”

_It sounds like Ventress._ Barriss thought, but that didn't make any sense. She didn't have any motive to do that kind of thing anymore. She barely had any motive to try and stop her either, unless it was for a monetary reward. Barriss knew she was on planet, working as a bounty hunter. Her contacts in the underworld had alerted her to Asajj's presence, and she had already half formed a plan to steal the former Sith's identity and frame the bombing on her. Barriss had even spent some time observing her from afar, looking for weaknesses to exploit, but had been careful to cover her tracks.

_Not careful enough, it seems._

If Ventress had know she was being watched, had turned the spying around… This was all very troubling. Even if Ventress wasn't involved, the implications of this stranger were clear. Someone had spied on her, had known she had lost her convictions and had usurped her plan.

“What did they do with the bombs, Letta.”

The other woman had gone quiet.

“I thought they would kill me if I refused… I thought _you_ would… Force forgive me.”

“Letta.”

“Last night. We followed your plan, I did everything you wanted me too. I planted the bombs in his caf, I… Oh gods I've killed him! Just to save myself…”

Tears had formed and were rolling down her cheeks as she spoke in distressed hiccups.

“They've…”

Barriss whipped around and looked up. She couldn't see the Temple, but she knew what was about to happen. The Force screamed at her to move, but she couldn't leave the decoy nanobombs here. She drew her lightsaber and barely registered Letta shrinking away from her. She flew at the other crates, slicing into them. She found the other nanobombs intact, and disabled them. Permanently. With a lightsaber.

Once she was sure they couldn't hurt anyone, she turned and fled, leaving Letta sobbing on the floor. 

She ran towards the Temple in a desperate rush.

But somehow, as she sprinted through alley and concourse, she knew it was too late.

The Force spiked with pain before she got out of the city's depths, and she tried not to think about Tutso Mara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: Ahsoka gets back and various people talk about things.
> 
> Thats a good chapter summary right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who’s read this and stuck with it so far! I adore every one of you because you’ve all been amazing!
> 
> I know everyone came to have a nice old Barriss/Ahsoka time, and I keep piling on the angst, but it’s all for a good cause, I promise!
> 
> We'll get there eventually :)

The dropship was cold. Unlike the destroyer, it lacked any onboard heating, and the metal of the tempered durasteel hull conducted the chill from outside with an irritating efficiency. The exposed parts of Ahsoka's arms rippled with goosebumps from the cold. She barely noticed, however. She sat in the rear, preoccupied with her thoughts, as they sailed down through the dingy grey blanketing Coruscant's sky. 

Sat opposite was Anakin, whose fingers were tapping out a staccato drumbeat on his left leg whilst he glared a hole into the ceiling. He had become maddeningly silent. Ahsoka wasn't quite sure whether he was more disappointed in her for not telling him, furious at Barriss for doing the unthinkable, or just frustrated about the situation at large. Most likely it was a mixture of all three, which didn't seem like a stable cocktail in any circumstance, let alone now.

Ahsoka herself wasn't doing swimmingly either, but she refused to acknowledge the hurt and betrayal that crawled about under her skin. If she focused on them for too long, she feared they would overwhelm her and cause her to lose control. She needed to be in control. How else would she confront Barriss about how she had betrayed the the trust of the entire Order. 

How she had betrayed _Ahsoka’s_ trust, so utterly.

She brought a smile to her face but it was a grim twist devoid of humour or joy. Maybe it had been naive to expect her to sway from her path after a single conversation, no matter how heartfelt. It was ironic really. The last time they had spoken Barriss had told her that trust was overrated.

_Guess I should have listened…_

As they came closer and closer to the ground, Ahsoka's stomach twisted and she began to fidget. They had relayed Ahsoka's message to the Jedi but as for what they would do about it was something of a mystery. Krell, the last Jedi to fall in such a loud and dramatic fashion, had been arrested on the spot by the GAR, but obviously that wouldn't work for Barriss. Would they keep her at the Temple? Pass her off to a Republic prison? It was entirely possible the GAR could argue military detention due to her rank of Commander. It wasn't worth worrying about, but Ahsoka still steeped in anxiety. Which was annoying, because surely a perk of being a Jedi was not having your emotions disobey the logic of your brain.

Obi Wan was waiting for them as they arrived. He looked pensive, his arms wrapped across his chest as if to ward off a chill that wasn't just coming from the gasps of cool wind that swirled about him. His beard was scrunched up in a tight bundle that came as close to a true frown as Master Kenobi ever really got. He didn't move to shield himself from the dust and debris that whipped up as the jumpship crunched into the tarmac. 

As soon as they hit solid ground, Anakin shot forward like lightning. Ahsoka fumbled with her belt clip and hurried along after him.

“Ah, Anakin, Ahsoka! So good to see you again. Though as I'm sure you're aware we have a bit of a situation on our hands.”

“Where is she?” Anakin asked, not bothering with even the barest of niceties. This earned him a raised eyebrow.

“Well that's...” 

Ahsoka came up swiftly behind Anakin.

“Where is she, Master Kenobi?”

“Oh good, there’s two of you.” He said with an exasperated sigh and a pinched nose. “Come on then, I'll lead you to them.”

He turned and began a brisk walk into the building. Anakin and Ahsoka didn’t waste any time in following.

“She's secure in the Temple, under guard of course, however there hasn't really been much we could do until you got back. It’s evolved into something of an ideological standoff within the Council. The lack of physical evidence has been a slight problem.”

“What? Ahsoka told you what happened! Surely that's enough to do _something_! Don’t you believe her?!”

“Oh please Anakin, of course I...we believe Ahsoka!”

“You guys realise I’m here too, right?”

Obi-Wan let out a sigh “Apologies, Ahsoka. It’s just… Well, we can't go leaping into action without being absolutely sure of the facts. Use some sense, Anakin. We'll sort this all out soon enough.”

Ahsoka hoped so. Obi-Wan turned and gave Ahsoka a quick smile. Although it was genuine, something about it was tense and it lacked his usual joviality. It was a less than reassuring sign.

The corridors they made their way down were filled with mournful Jedi who had draped themselves in austere clothing and expressions. Preparations for the funeral must have been underway and larger groups than were usual idled in the corridors, huddled near to one another at doorways and around monuments. A grim hush had descended across the whole building. It jarred heavily with the visible level of people.

They reached a long hallway where a number of figures had amassed around the doorway at the end which had been flanked by two Temple guards. They stood to attention in the customary silence and stillness of their role, like ornately dressed statues. As they neared, Ahsoka recognised several members of the Council including Master Unduli, Barriss’ teacher, who leaned against the door with arms crossed.

Luminara wore a look of impassivity, but as they approached her eyes narrowed and she regarded them all in turn. Finally she lingered her gaze on Ahsoka, who promptly turned her head to avoid it.

She felt her cheeks grow hot with a rapid wave of ambiguous guilt and indignation. Anakin apparently had no such reservations and body strode towards the guarded door.

“Is she in there?”

The faceless figures shifted their bodies toward one another to bar his entrance to the room. Only then did Anakin turn.

“It's good to see you too, Knight Skywalker.” said Kit Fisto wryly. Anakin only scowled and crossed his arms.

“Why are you all standing around? We know who did it, we should hand her over to the courts immediately!”

Luminara scoffed.

“Oh yes, with the absolute _wealth_ of evidence your Padawan has provided, I'm surprised they haven't locked her away already!“

Sarcasm dripped from her voice and Anakin narrowed his eyes in return.

“Barriss Offee is a Jedi Padawan, Skywalker, even if we determine she is guilty, we won't just turn her over to the civilian judiciary.” As he said this, Mace Windu's face never wavered from his signature stony expression.

“That's ridiculous! She killed Galactic citizens! It wasn't just an attack on the Jedi but on the Republic as a whole!”

“Agree with you, the Chancellor does. A military matter, he considers this. Turn over the culprit to their jurisdiction, he has been lobbying for.”

“Have you not told him of Barriss’ guilt?”

Luminara scoffs once again. It's a cold sound that imprints a shiver in Ahsoka's bones.

“Oh yes, I'm sure your friend Palpatine will exercise his usual constraint once he learns a Jedi is supposedly the culprit. If we're lucky, he'll just skip straight to a public execution!”

“Supposedly? We know she's guilty!”

“Unfortunately, Anakin” Obi-Wan started “Barriss has hardly spoken a word since we confined her. We haven't been able to corroborate Ahsoka's story.”

Ahsoka stepped forward.

“Perhaps if I talked to her, Master Kenobi? I'm sure I could-”

“ _You_ are going absolutely nowhere near her!”

Ahsoka could not tell if Luminara's eyes blazed with ice or fire, but blazed they did as she stepped into Ahsoka's path.

“Hey! Leave Ahsoka alone!” Anakin said as he moved to Ahsoka's shoulder. The two Jedi stared at each other for several uncomfortable moments before Luminara broke the silence.

“Tell me, Anakin, how do we know it's not Ahsoka who orchestrated this attack?”

“What?!” said Anakin, through gritted teeth. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Well, it's all very convenient, isn't it? You and your Padawan just _happen_ to be off-world at the time of the bomb. You just _happen_ to be appointed investigators, a _logical_ choice of course because _somehow_ rumours are being spread that a Jedi is behind the attack. And now, as if by pure coincidence, Ahsoka just _happens_ to have information implicating Barriss as the bomber despite never saying a word of this before it happened!”

“How dare you accuse-!”

“How dare I? It's your… _protégé_ who is accusing my Padawan of outlandish crimes with absolutely no evidence!”

Luminara whips her focus towards Ahsoka, and Ahsoka meets her eyes this time, her own fury at Barriss’ betrayal boiling inside.

“Why did you never say anything, Ahsoka? Were you just waiting for the right moment? Perhaps you knew that if you accused Barriss after the bombing, she wouldn't fight back. Maybe you thought she would be too wracked with grief at the deaths of her friends? That she would be too weak recovering from the traumas of Umbara to fight back? That the betrayal of your friendship would tip her over the edge and into the abyss of madness?”

Anakin curled his gloved hand into a fist.

“Back off, Luminara.”

She ignored him.

“We all know that this war is unpopular, don't we? The Anti-War Movement is growing every day. Who do we know that is… _empathetic_ enough to become part of such an organisation?” 

She spat the word empathy like a curse.

“Now some of the Anti-War protestors have decided the peaceful path is too slow. Who do we know that is hot headed and rash enough to think that terrorism would be an effective method of demonstration? Can you think if anyone, Ahsoka? I remember I once prevented you from using torture on a prisoner. I remember telling you then that fear and intimidation are not the Jedi way. Perhaps you didn't learn that lesson as well as I thought.”

Anakin moved first, but within a split second of one another, all three Jedi had their lightsabers drawn. Just as quickly Obi-Wan and Mace were between them.

“Ahsoka, Anakin, that is enough! This is helping no-one!” said Obi-Wan as Mace attempted to placate Luminara.

“Well now I see where she gets it from!” said Luminara, the volume of her voice rising from where it had been impossible level before.

“Master Unduli, stand down! This is not helpful! We'll get to the bottom of this, but there is no need for violence!”

Luminara stared at Windu for a few moments before silently sheathing her blade, with Anakin and Ahsoka following suit.

“Thank you. I understand that we're all on edge. This was a tragedy, and the rumours about the rogue Jedi are troubling but that is no reason to turn on one another. We must be united now more than ever. This agent of darkness has tried to divide us, make us weaker and more vulnerable to attack.”

“Give in to paranoia, we must not. Turns to fear, too easily, it does. Eventually, the truth of Ahsoka's accusations, we will find. For now, going anywhere, Barriss is not.”

“In the meantime, I have set one of our crime scene droids, Russo-ISC, on the case of finding evidence. We still need physical proof of how this happened and who did it. Anakin, Ahsoka, you're both still the least likely Jedi to have been involved in the attack, so you'll have to coordinate with Russo in the investigation.”

****

—

****

**  
**

“Unlikely.”

Ahsoka groaned. The investigation with Russo was proving to be a supreme hassle. They had found out almost nothing from the crime scene, other than a complete lack of bomb residue and any other credible explanation of how the explosion was set off. The event looped around them in a ghostly blue that cut through the haze of smoke that lingered in a suspended vapour across the hanger. The light from the fresh gash in the side of the Temple spilled in as shimmering lines that would have been beautiful in any other circumstance. However, other than a pretty lightshow, the holograms hadn't been very helpful to the investigation so far.

On top of this Russo kept shooting down her theories as to how Barriss could have been involved.

“Well what if she planted it herself? Surely she could manipulate a security hologram, if she put her mind to it.”

“True, but again, impossible. She wasn't even in the Temple at the time of the event, or for several hours beforehand. Records show that she arrived back around 10 minutes after the explosion.”

“But-”

“And no, before you ask, she couldn't have manipulated those records either. There are multiple eyewitness accounts of her arrival at the Temple and of her approach. My investigation before you came back to Coruscant revealed no links between Padawan Offee and this incident. I was quite thorough.”

Ahsoka groaned louder, mostly for show, as Anakin had just entered the chamber. His boots stomped in loud thuds on the floor, echoing through the vast chamber of air above them.

“Any luck?”

“No Master. I'm starting to run out of ideas here.”

He frowned and turned his face skyward as if in thought. 

_A rare display indeed._ Ahsoka thought to herself and suppressed the smirk that rose to her lips.

“What if… Ahsoka, you said she was working with someone, right? An accomplice from the Anti-War Movement? What if she was the one who did it?”

_Wow, maybe I should give him more credit?_

“Hey, that's a really good idea, Master!”

He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. He looked like a excited Dalgo pup.

“Thanks! It's what Padme suggested when I asked her about it.”

_Maybe not._

“So, do remember who she was, or what she looked like?”

“I do…sorta? Human, I think, though it was dark and hard to tell. She was thin and I think her name was Leita? Lenna? Lentil? Something like that.”

“No records of anyone with those names were working at the Temple or entered Temple grounds during the last month.”

“Oh come on! There's got to be something!” Ahsoka cried. She was getting close to losing it. “Maybe it's a pseudonym? A cover name or something like that?”

“Hmm, it's at least possible. Ahsoka, why don't you and Russo go and interview those in the medical wing and see if anyone's heard of this Lerto. I'll stay here and see if I can find the source of the bomb.”

“I would prefer to conduct witness interviews alone, Master Jedi. There has been widespread rumours about the culpability of a Jedi in this attack. No offence but Padawan Tano's presence could be… distracting.”

“You think you'd have more luck with us out of your hair?”

“Highly probable. Though I must remind you, droids do not typically have hair.”

“I'm sorry, Russo. Jedi were killed in that explosion along with clones and maintenance crew. We need to know just as much as you.”

“I'll let you know if we find anything, Master.”

**—**

As it turned out, Russo and Ahsoka's foray to the Med Centre became a lucky break. When they started asking around about someone called Letlu, a Pantoran dock worker nursing multiple wounds and an attitude of suspicion towards the Jedi called out to them.

Letta, which Ahsoka claimed had been on the tip of her tongue, was his friend from a political club he attended on the weekends. She was married to a tall Abyssin worker by the name of Jackar Bowmani, who was seen in the area of the explosion by several witnesses. This time, Russo had him on file and immediately began a search of the Temple grounds for him via miniature droids which Ahsoka could only assume were his metaphorical children.

Anakin too had a lucky break, and found the source of the explosion, nanodroids. Russo informed them that it appeared to be a suicide bombing, as all he'd been able to find of Jackar were pieces. 

Putting the pieces together, Anakin and Ahsoka decided to head to Letta's apartment to apprehend her and find evidence she aided in the attack, as well as testimony that Barriss was the mastermind.

**—**

Grimy was how Ahsoka would describe the apartment block that housed the Letta Thurmond, recent widow and apparent political activist.

“You'd think working for the Jedi paid better.”

A sticky thin film covered the place, a slow amalgamation of the sweat and filth of those who lived here had built in layers and glommed itself across the walls and floor. They couldn't take a step without a slight tug of resistance and a muted rip each time their boots came free as if souls of the dead inhabited the very framework of the building and desperately clung to anything they came into contact with.

Ahsoka shook the thought from her head and continued along the corridor. The place wasn't so different from other dwellings she'd seen but it was the little touches that made it stand out. She carefully sidestepped small, irregular piles of rubbish that scattered the sides of the hall. A smell of damp mixed with bodies lingered in the nostrils as she breathed in. A man with the dilated pupils of a relentless death stick user was slumped motionless against a nasty stain.

Even Letta and Jackar's place was obviously rundown, though it seemed that the occupants had attempted to keep it manageable tidy. Pride varnished the few possessions and the furniture all in its right place. It was dark inside the apartment, and the light switches refused to work, a telltale sign of an unpaid electricity bill sacrificed for the sake of another week of food. Anakin and Ahsoka scanned the place in silence and eventually found what they were looking for.

Traces of nanodroids, the same as those in the crime scene. They were laced on food and drink that had been left out. It was the only untouched patch of grime in the whole place, and there was something heartbreaking about how it had been left alone since the bomb. Ahsoka felt nauseous as she realised Jackar must have ingested the bombs.

When Letta returned, she fled from them. Not all at once, but she was hesitant as they pressed her for answers. She spoke as if she were in a daze and didn't quite know the words that came out of her. 

They led her back through the dilapidated block and out into the jumbled street teeming with sapients from all corners of the Galaxy. It was like a million others in the undercity, and nobody paid much notice to the well dressed surfacers until Letta shoved them aside and flew down the road.

The Jedi caught her, of course. The Force imparted many gifts onto its sensitives, and unnatural speed and agility was one such boon.

“Did you plant the bomb?”

Letta wilted from Anakin's barking voice. She shuddered from the tears dripping down her cheeks.

“Yes I…killed him. Them. I fed my husband the bomb, sent him to work knowing he would die. It was me.” she said between hiccups.

“What about Barriss?” Ahsoka asked through a narrow squint.

“You know about…? Yes. Yes! She helped plan it with me! She was sympathetic to the cause and we planned the bombing together. Lock her away as soon as she can, or she'll find me! You don't know what she's capable of.”

A cold hand descended over Ahsoka and took hold of her chest in a heavy grip. Her heart began to race as it tried to free itself from its newfound prison. Now that she'd heard proof of Barriss’ involvement, it truly hit her that she had done this. Barriss had killed innocents, Jedi.

Her friend was truly gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next time when everyone goes to (gay baby) jail


	9. Chapter 9

When Barriss found herself in a prison cell, it felt sudden. Unexpected.

Logically she knew she'd made the journey, experienced every long minute, but it was a waking dream of sharp images both vivid and indistinct all at once. While the memories were there, they just didn't make a visceral impact.

She remembered the commanding voice of her Master echoing through the Temple halls as she was removed. Clear in her mind was the imposing structure that had loomed above them as they, her and her jailors, approached. She remembered the regular tempo of the crunch their boots made on the sea of gravel, remembered the first splutters of rain that fell on her face and dripped down in arterial rivers, slithering their way into her eyes, her nose, and her mouth. She remembered the grip of the clones’ gloved hands on her arms, too tight in a way that made her want to scream until the wrongness of the tactile sensation flooded out of her system like a virus.

She didn't though. She deserved this.

The red shouldered clones had refused to let go until she was shoved into the cramped cell anyway, so it didn't quite matter. 

She took stock of her new surroundings. The only window in the room was a tiny square above a thick door that closed behind her with a weighty thud. She didn't much mind that, though. Small, dark spaces had been a comfort for much of her life, and in other circumstances she might welcome being in somewhere similar to this. The difference was that she could not leave of her own will. But it wasn't too bad, all things considered.

The Republic Centre for Military Operations. RCMO as frontliners called it, with either reverence or derision.

The building was massive and strangely ornate in design compared to most GAR facilities. It had more the flavour of a Cathedral dedicated to the military might of the Republic than that of a functioning command hub, complete with colossal statues of clones in heroic positions, and more Republic flags than at the Senate, as if they were afraid anyone would forget they were in the heart of the Republic. In practice it acted as the command centre for all GAR operations, as well as the home of the military tribunal, which Barriss would surely now face. 

The lack of outside light reminded Barriss of being on a starship, an image helped along by the soldiers strolling about the place in clusters. Occasionally a patrol of red clad troopers would walk past, military straight with hands constantly ready on their heavy duty blasters.

She tested the weight that tied her wrists together and found it left her movement sluggish. Dropping inelegantly to the floor, she positioned herself into a basic meditative pose and took in a deep lung of air, steadying herself and reaching tentatively out into the Force.

Except of course she couldn't.

The shock drew a gasp from her lips. She shuddered at the sheer enormity of the absence. Connection to the Force was hard to describe to someone not sensitive. It was almost like seeing a thousand million pinpricks of light dancing across her vision all at once. Except even that was inadequate because it was not visual, nor was it attached to any other tactile sense. It was a unique feeling all on its own that added to her others and intertwined itself so thoroughly that it was impossible to imagine life without. 

It was as if she had gone deaf, or blind, but more than that because she was cut off from communion with the very lifeblood of the Galaxy and its sapient trillions.

Never in her life had she been so thoroughly separated from the Force.

This, she realised, was a far greater torture than unpleasantness in the physical. She had always had an affinity for solitude, as well as a need to escape from the social expectations thrust upon her, but this was an infinite loneliness. A crushing despair that enveloped her body and no matter how she tried, she couldn't shake it from herself.

Panic was rising in her and she made a concerted effort to concentrate on that. A practical problem she could deal with.

_In, out. In, out._ she repeated in her head and the breathing sloped off from hyperventilation. The shrieking white noise in her mind cooled into the background of her head and she managed to relax.

_You can get through this._ she thought, and held on to it for dear life, a ray of hope in the dark.

**—**

Luminara gazed out across the garden towards the site of her final conversation with Barriss as the rain started to fall in earnest. Well, the final conversation where her Padawan's responses hadn't been near catatonic, at least. She struggled to find a reason justifying why she was currently acting like a wistful youngling playing at an exaggerated stoicism gleaned from too many hours in front of holovid romances.

Still, she enjoyed the rain, it had a somewhat soothing quality when viewed from afar like this. Barriss on the other hand hated it, the sensation was too uneven on her skin and in her ears. Luminara had often found her squirreled inside the library stacks on rainy days when she was younger, whilst more adventurous youngsters would run screaming and laughing through the mud, embracing the elements that lashed their fearless faces.

The figure that approached from behind didn't say anything, and Luminara was content to ignore him, until he cleared his throat in the loudest and most obvious fashion possible. She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him as he sidled up beside her. 

The stone corridor they were in was a covered outdoor walkway tacked onto the side of the Temple and the window the pair now leaned on was windowless and went unbroken from column to column. It shaded all its inhabitants from the sun and the storms, depending on the day, and the rich, deep smell of wet earth drifted around them in a lazy miasma.

“Subtle, Master Kenobi.”

“I do try, Master Unduli.”

“Don’t let Master Yoda here you say that.”

At that, Obi-Wan turned to face the gardens, a wry smile on his face.

“Lovely weather we're having.”

Luminara felt her lips twitch up as she followed suit. 

“Fits the mood, doesn't it.”

After a while Obi-Wan decided to probe a little further, or probe at all rather, as all he'd done so far was poorly imitate someone with an extreme case of Rylothi Plague.

“So, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing out here then?”

“As opposed to what? I'll remind you I'm a Jedi Master with a seat on the High Council, I have the right and privilege to go anyone as I see fit.”

“No reminder is necessary. But if I could remind _you_ , that privilege also includes the cell of a recently incarcerated teenage Mirialan, wouldn't you say?”

“That…” she huffed. “Whilst true, it wouldn't be… appropriate for me to visit her at such a juncture. I can't be seen to have any attachments, especially now.”

“Forgive me if I'm wrong, Luminara, but I don't think raising your lightsaber towards other Jedi is considered that appropriate, either.”

“That was different! Anakin st–” she caught herself before she could go any further and buried her face in her hands, a mortifying heat creeping up her face to her cheeks.

Had she really been about to say _Anakin started it_? Force, when she had lost control of her life, she didn't know, but it didn't bode well.

She felt a firm grip on her shoulder and relaxed into it. Obi-Wan had long been a comforting presence.

“Luminara” he began, softly now, the snark gone from his voice “I'm sure Barriss would do much better for seeing you. Propriety be damned.”

“Master Jedi! How dare you blaspheme so openly!”

Obi-Wan didn't respond, and Luminara sobered. They stood there for a while and took in the view. After a while, Luminara started again, her voice reduced to a near whisper to match the softness of Obi-Wan's.

“All those people. All those _Jedi_.”

“A tragedy, to be sure.”

“What if…oh Force, what if it _was_ her, Obi? How….how do I face her, if it was?”

She turned to Obi-Wan.

“Do you think she could have done it? What if she _was_ capable, and I just never saw it…”

“I think…hmm. I think that what _I think_ , doesn't matter. Do you believe she could have done it?”

“... No” she realised. 

How could she? She had practically raised her.

The beginnings of a plan started to coalesce in her mind as she became certain of what she must do.

“Then go to her, be there for her. We'll all get through this, one way or another.”

“One way or another.” Luminara ghosted the phrase back at him, her attention pulled inward.

“The Chancellery is lobbying for her to be tried under the emergency powers legislation. As a civilian.”

They all knew what that meant. And how could the Council truly defy the government they had all pledged to defend?

“I know what I have to do Obi-Wan. I need to go see Barriss. I need to go to the prison.”

Obi-Wan took a long look at her. It was a minute or two before he spoke again.

“Hmm. If I know that tone, then I have an inkling of what you’re about to attempt.”

Luminara smiled. He always could read her like an open scroll. She looked into his eyes, those cerulean depths, and held his gaze.

“I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to talk you out of it?”

“I doubt it. You know me, once my mind is made up…”

“Indeed. You know they won’t forgive you for this. You’ll be stripped from the Council. Excommunicated from the Order. Just...tell me, are you sure?”

Luminara reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand, the bristles of his beard scratching alone the inside of her palm.

“I am, Obi. I’m willing to pay the price.”

“OK.” He said and nodded to himself. “OK. I suppose...I wish you luck, then.”

“I’ll see you again, Obi-Wan Kenobi, when the Force takes us both.”

“May it always guide you, Lumi.”

Laughter burst from her mouth in a loud and unexpected bark. When surprised, truly surprised, she often let loose a laugh quite different from her normal one. She had been embarrassed by it in her youth, and had trained her mind to tone herself back and only create restrained laughter safely within the boundaries of propriety.

“Oh my, you haven’t called me that since we were Padawan!”

“Well, I figured if I only had one more chance!” He said, a warm grin working its way onto his face that juxtaposed the moisture gathering around his eyes.

“Thank you.” Luminara said, before releasing his face from her hand.

“For what?”

“For being my friend.”

“Always.”

**—**

Ahsoka slowed instinctively as they neared Barriss’ cell. The cloying pall of déjà vu had settled over her as she prepared once again to enter a room and face down a friend for committing unspeakable horrors. She felt naked without her blades or her communicator, stripped from her by the tight security at the first RCMO security gate. She felt like a child stripped of their safety blanket, and flushed when she realised this. A desperate need to be mature scratched at the back of her mind, to face this as an adult would.

Unfocused eyes greeted her as she crossed the threshold. 

The clones that had escorted her swivelled on their soles and took up stiff stances either side of the door. When the door closed behind her and the rush of wind it left fluttered over her back for a moment, it reminded her to change into some warmer clothes when she got back to her quarters. The damp material clung to her skin uncomfortably whenever she moved her limbs.

No point in being so stylish if it led to her dying of exposure in the storm gathering around them.

The eyes she saw looked directly into her face, but didn’t quite make contact with her own and landed somewhere between her cheek and right lekku. It was mildly disconcerting, given Barriss’ usual attitude of adherence to pinpoint formality even in the face of obvious uncomfort. 

Ahsoka bent her head slightly to the side and took a deeper look. Barriss’ eyes were off kilter, yes, but they also sported the dull sheen of someone drunk or drugged. An individual struck with the inability to pry themselves away from their own analyses as they tumbled inwards.

Ahsoka experienced a small pang of worry that Barriss was under mistreatment but then shook herself of it, remembering that she was upset. She was here to _because_ she was upset and she wanted the infantile satisfaction of berating someone already defeated just because they hurt you. Technically she was here for the investigation, but it was hard to concentrate when Barriss was right in front of her, the architect of so much of Ahsoka’s recent misery. She didn’t stop to think on what that said about her and attachments.

Upon the realisation that she’d just been standing there and glaring for almost a minute she cleared her throat with the hopes of garnering some attention the new prisoner. It didn’t work.

“I warned you Barriss.”

No response.

“I did! I told you I would never let you get away with it. With murder. Murder, Barriss! You killed workers and children! Did they deserve to die in your crusade, Barriss? Innocents?”

Still she sat, immobile.

“I can’t even look at you.” She said, whilst continuing to stare. “It was all very well, espousing your beliefs in the ills of the Council, and how they’ve handled this war. I even agreed with you at parts! Jedi, have made mistakes. They always have and they still will, even in the face of this tragedy!

“But you were wrong about one thing. The moment you thought attacking those with no say would help spread your message, you became absolutely wrong, irredeemable even.”

Tears began to well in her eyes the longer Barriss would not acknowledge her presence.

“Why did you do it? Oh Force, why?!

It was hard to continue, in the face of her outward projection of strength crumbling away. She whipped her head around and turned towards the door and attempted to steady her nerves. She fiddled absentmindedly with the lower ends of her lekku. The five tips of her sensory halo were still numb from their freezing encounter with the elements, and a slick sheen of rainwater formed a thin membrane where her skin lay bare.

In some ways it was easier now they had begun to grow in earnest, the lower ones thickening like heavy trunks, and the two that stretched above hardening, horn-like. The squishy nubs of her youth, sensitive and easily overwhelmed by new sensations, had been replaced as rapidly as she had entered into the teenage growth spurt that hit most Togrutas as they developed.

“I’m sorry.”

Ahsoka whirled around. It was so quiet when the words slipped from Barriss mouth in barely a whisper. Ahsoka would have thought she’d imagined it, if it wasn’t for the downward cast of her face, the first evidence of movement from Barriss since she’d entered the cell.

“You….” Ahsoka said, the solid foundations of her voice failing in that moment, before she recentred it to its previous strength. “You should be!”

“It’s all my fault.” Barriss said in the same sliver of a voice.

“Yes! It is!”

Ahsoka thought she should have felt lighter at that, the admission she’d been so desperate to hear. But the same crushing weight still wrapped her in a shroud. This made her annoyed. She felt her face grow hot and she became instantly frustrated that it wasn’t so easy to rid herself of this terrible burden.

“I didn’t want this to happen.”

She turned that anger towards Barriss once more, still unable to contain herself like a Jedi ought to. Too much, too loud, just like adults had always said behind her back in hushed tones. Not much of a Jedi at all, really.

“Then why!? Why do it, if you didn’t want it to happen?! That doesn’t make any sense, Barriss. _You_ don’t make sense, none of this does! And now you’re locked up, and you’ll be expelled from the Order. Forever.

“Why did you do it, Barriss? You owe me an answer!”

This time Barriss looked up. Her eyes met Ahsoka’s this time with no avoidance or delay.

“I didn’t.”

Ahsoka couldn’t breathe. Even with the distressing quietness of Barriss’ voice, she had still heard the words perfectly. She wished she hadn’t. 

They threatened to send her over the edge of the emotional chasm where she’d been teetering since she’d entered the prison. The tears logged in her eyes released but she barely felt two winding streaks as they moved down her face, exploring their paths as they went. She didn’t move to wipe them away, too taken back by those awful words.

“Don’t.” She said, her own voice now a mirror of Barriss’ exhausted faintness. She opened and closed her hands into fists, again and again. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Barriss. I can’t take you lying to my face.”

“...You said you could tell. If I was lying. You said you knew when I wasn’t telling the truth.”

“Obviously I was wrong wasn’t I! I don’t know you at all!”

“Please, Ahsoka. Just look at me. Keep looking as I say I didn’t set off the bomb. I tried to destroy the bombs before they could do any harm. But I failed, and people died, because someone stole my idea and used it for their own ends.

“Was I lying? Just now, was that the truth?”

Ahsoka inhaled sharply and felt her heart increase in speed.

“No, this is a trick. You’re trying to manipulate me!”

“I’m not, Ahsoka. It wasn’t me.”

“Stop it! Please, Barriss, just stop it! It was you! It has to be!”

Barriss’ eyes had turned sharp, no longer trapped behind an overwhelmed veneer. They flicked between Ahsoka’s eyes rapidly, partly covered by a brow furrowed in concentration. Her lips were pressed together in anticipation. She looked determined, a wild swing from her defeated self a few minutes ago. Perhaps she had decided she had nothing to lose. That she might as well try every avenue that she could too...

“Am I lying, Ahsoka?”

“Oh Force, you aren’t, are you? It...it really wasn’t you?”

Barriss nodded, the movement no more than a slight flicker, but it was enough. Anxiety flared and she thought that she'd slipped back into naïveté, was letting Barriss lead her by the nose because she preferred a reality where her friend wasn't a murderer to the truth. 

But it was only a flicker. She couldn’t explain how she knew, but she did. It was like the Force was...not guiding her but nudging maybe, in a vague direction.

Barriss hadn’t bombed the Temple. Well technically Jackar had either way, or Letta, really, depending on your perspective, but Barriss hadn’t done it, by proxy or not. Whether she was still to _blame_? That was...well, that was a question for another time. Ahsoka shoved it back in her mind and tried to concentrate through the rush of information realigning her perspective.

“Who did do it then?”

“Oh...I actually don’t know.”

Ahsoka growled, actually _growled_ , at the answer. She didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about it, though. Barriss was startled at the sound, but schooled her expression in a blink.

“Barriss! You just…! Are you toying with me? Is this a game?”

“No! No, no, no, I don’t know who it was! I swear, I want to find out, just as much as you! Letta was the only one who met the bomber, but apparently they wore a mask and she didn’t know who they were. No name, no face, not even a sure species.”

“So...Letta met this mystery person?”

“Yes, and as far as I know, she was the only one. I have to tell you, though, to me the description sounded like it was Asajj Ventress.”

“Asajj?!”

“Yes, in her new bounty hunter getup. She’s been on Coruscant, doing some minor jobs probably, for a while now. Just keep it in mind.”

“I...uh, OK. Sure. So Letta will have a physical description, then? Hmm, it’s not a lot, but it’s enough for me to start an investigation into the bomber. Alright, I’ll talk to her right away.”

Ahsoka began to stride out, before hesitating at the doorway. She turned around, hesitant, and looked back at Barriss, and wanted to say something more.

But she couldn’t. She needed time to process everything and so she left, leaving the reluctant silence hanging in the cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the third burst of emotional whiplash this week, Ahsoka was starting to get used to it...
> 
>  
> 
> Not sure this chapter came out how I wanted it too, but please let me know if I’ve made a colossal mess of it!! (Or maybe if you liked it!)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick heads up, there are a couple of semi-graphic descriptions of dead bodies in this chapter.

Letta's cell, like much of the compound inside its thick duracrete casing, was dark. It made sense, given that it was nighttime, but it still left Ahsoka uneasy. The space seemed more gloomy and an aura of unnecessary eeriness exuded from every dim corner.

Letta lay flat on her bunk and stared at the ceiling, but quickly scrambled up when Ahsoka stepped through the door. Once again the clones didn't follow behind her as it closed. Puffy rims surrounded Letta's eyes from what could only have been crying. Those tears seemed to have exhausted for now, leaving those heavy circles. In fact, she seemed just plain exhausted, a resignation pervaded the atmosphere around her, manifesting with her inability to lift her eyelids all the way open. Her tattoo continued to stand out starkly on her face, the black unpreterberbed by exposure to rain and tears.

“Hello again, Letta.” she started, maintaining a clipped tone that betrayed an undisguised contempt for the woman. She had, after all, poisoned her husband and bombed the Temple. Terrible crimes, even if she was coerced, as she had nebulously claimed in her statement.

Letta's gaze dropped.

“Is Barriss alright?”

Ahsoka scoffed at that.

“Why would you care? Aren't you afraid of her?”

The corners of Letta's mouth stretch out to the sides. Not a smile, nor a frown, just a muted acceptance. Of what, Ahsoka didn't know; her situation, perhaps?

“Of course I'm afraid of her. She is a powerful, smart young woman and she is angry, oh so angry. You could see that in her eyes, every time we talked, that blazing passion of hers.”

Letta met Ahsoka's gaze.

“But it's complicated, isn't it? Besides, what can she do to me when I'm locked in here?” she gestured in a wide arc to illustrate her point. She took a moment to shuffle her legs over the side of the bed, leaving them to dangle lazily over the floor.

“Just because I'm afraid of her, doesn't mean I don't care about her. You know what I mean.”

“I have no idea what you're thinking, we're nothing alike.”

“We may not be alike, but you care about her too. I can tell. Even after all that she has done, or tried to do, you still care.”

“Don't act like you know me.”

“But I do, though. She used to talk about you all the time, you know, at the meetings. When they were just that, meetings. Just a small group of like-minded people, all of us sick and tired of this kriff-forsaken war. So you see, she cares for you too, everyone knew it.”

Ahsoka tried to ignore the burn on her cheeks. Maybe the darkness wasn't so bad.

“She even told me that if I was ever in danger or I needed help, and she wasn't around, I should go to you.”

“It still doesn't change the fact that she betrayed me.”

“Love makes us do foolish things, child. Just look at me.”

Ahsoka spluttered and pivoted quickly into loud coughing in an embarrassing attempt to cover it up.

“You call using your husband to blow up the Jedi Temple, an–an act of love?” she asked, ignoring the implication that Barriss in any way _loved_ her, which was ridiculous.

_Letta is obviously more deluded than I thought._

“Like I say, crazy things. This may seem… oh, what is the word in Basic… callous? That’s it, it may seem callous, but I really did love him. I like to think that he loved me, too in his own way. But he would not betray the Jedi, even if I had ever asked it of him. I knew that. They were his first love. He built his whole life around serving them, he would never, _could never_ do anything to harm them. But when we came up with the plan, well. He was perfectly placed to send a message and our only real option. What could we do?

“You see, I too had something I loved, separate from and before him. So the choice became inevitable. We were radicals, so sure of our ideas and rhetoric. We became tunnel-visioned and foolish. I'm starting to see that, now that all I have is time to think.”

“I'm not really here about that, Letta. I'm here for the identity of the person who carried out the bombing.”

“I already told Barriss everything I know about that person. Tall. Black robes. Mask concealing their face. That is pretty much it. What do you need me for?”

“You're the only person who's seen them! If we catch them you could be the only one who could identify them! Please, was there anything else you can remember, anything at all?”

“Well…there was something about the mask. The patterns on it… It reminded me of something I once saw in–”

Letta never managed to finish her sentence. Instead she was wrenched out of her cot and into the air, an invisible force holding her aloft. 

_The Force!_ Ahsoka thought, in a panic. She reached out as if to physically drag Letta back down, but realised it wouldn't help, and so stood, paralysed between the broken choice of inaction and futile action. Her arms remained uselessly outstretched as Ahsoka tried to think of a way to neutralise and protect Letta from the Force, but her mind moved infuriatingly slow and all of a sudden it was over. A horrific snap of the neck and Letta plunged to the floor, her body slumping into a heap of lifeless mass sprawled across the prison floor.

Ahsoka stood immobile for a second before she shocked herself into movement. She fell about Letta and checked for a pulse. Nothing.

She didn't even register the clones entering the cell until they were standing over her. They must have heard over the security system.

“Quick, get some help!”

“Away from the body, Commander.”

“Wha–”

“Look, I can't say I blame you, but we have to take you in.”

“You… No! You can't think _I_ had any–”

“Now, Commander!” The clone guard barked, activating his weapon with a crackle of purple electricity.

Slowly Ahsoka raised her hands and backed away from Letta. The other guard took her arms and bent them behind her back and led her from the cell.

“Get Admiral Tarkin!”

****

—

****

**  
**

Aside from the solid looking clones at its flanks, brandishing heavy duty melee weapons, the counter at the entrance wouldn't have looked out of place in a hospital. The curved glass, tinted faintly blue and polished to perfection, exuded the sort of cool architectural design that soothed worried minds and subconsciously relaxed those around it. Anakin supposed it could have its uses in calming the prisoners of the RCMO dungeon.

Alright, _technically_ it was a “Specialist Facility for the Detention of Wartime Criminals” as some members of the military absolutely _insisted_ on calling it, but Anakin thought that exemplified the worst sort of character of people who went out of their way to be pompous and correct about every little thing.

_I hate bureaucrats._ he thought, as he strolled up to the bureaucrat behind the reception window, going about his bureaucratic duties.

The receptionist barely glanced up as he reached the desk. He looked extremely bored, a receptionist staple, and seemed engrossed in a message playing through his arm device.

_Or he would look bored, if he wasn't, y'know, wearing a trooper helmet. Probably._

Anakin cleared his throat and decided to press on.

“Hi there! I'm here to see the two suspects in the Temple bombing case.”

“I'm…not sure, sir-”

“Letta Turmond and Barriss Offee? My partner is already there with one or the other, so I'll just be joining her. No big deal.”

He gave an amiable grin and started to remove his lightsaber to place in the holding slot, when the receptionist started talking again.

“No, sir, I mean…” he coughed awkwardly and indicated towards his arm with a finger. “I have orders not to let any more, uh, ‘Jedi interlopers’ into the facility.”

“Interlopers?! What are you talking about? Ahsoka and I are the chief investigators on this case! You let her in, why not me?”

“Well, you see sir, Commander Tano has, uh, just been taken into custody as a suspect in the murder of Letta Turmond.”

Anakin's expression grew dark, his brow bunching down and his eyes narrowing.

“What?” he barked, leaning into the glass as far as he could, his gloved hand clenching around his lightsaber in a fist.

The seated clone leaned away, and glanced towards his colleagues.

“I'm sorry, sir, I have orders.”

“Oh no you don’t! I am a Jedi Knight, and more importantly a general of the GAR, so _I_ am ordering _you_ to _let me in._ ”

“My orders come from Admiral Tarkin, who, well he outranks you, uh, sir.” He gave the impression of being embarrassed at having to point it out.

“Wait a minute, Tarkin’s here? Contact him straight away. I’m sure he can sort out this mess.”

The guard clones were now standing either side of Anakin, purple stun sticks crackling at the ready.

“I'm sorry, sir, but I still have to ask you to–”

Then, the world fell to chaos.

Angry red light flicked on and bathed the corridor. The approaching troopers paused, unsure how to proceed as the siren cycled up into a droning wail.

Anakin, for his part, was the quickest to react, and headed immediately towards the door. Ahsoka was in trouble, and if time had taught him anything, that meant it was about to get a whole lot worse before it got better.

“Open the blast door!” he shouted, not bothering to turn.

“But sir–”

“Now, soldier!” Anakin said as he ignited his lightsaber. “Before I cut it open.”

The clone was still hesitant, but the apparent urgency of the situation tipped the scales and he fumbled with the controls, the locks falling away with heavy thuds.

“You two, with me.” He told the guards behind him, stun sticks still at the ready. The wash of fluorescent lights clashed against each other in an almost dizzying array of colour, the unnatural quality of it jarring up against Anakin's rational brain.

He pushed it down. No time to get distracted, he had a Padawan to save.

****

—

****

**  
**

Before the alarms rang out, Barriss was on her bunk. She sat cross legged, a look of pinched concentration on her face as she tried to force herself into a meditative state. Her body refused comply though, and her mind definitely wouldn't, still stuck in fuzziness at the hole in her head where the Force should’ve been. Barriss knew, rationally at least, that forcing yourself to relax didn't work. It just led you around in a frustrating cycle until you either relinquished your pursuit, or crashed out.

What else was she going to do, though?

She settled upon thinking about her encounter with Ahsoka, her fiery words and the shape that her face took. She had seemed so…disappointed. She had been schooling her expressions, anyone could’ve seen that, but underneath? There the betrayal and hurt and confusion rippled and thrashed, threatening to break free. Was she simply humouring Barriss, going to speak with Letta like that?

Barriss had expected Ahsoka’s faith to have been shattered. In a way it was, but when she’d presented her with the truth, unable to pretend any longer as a way of punishing herself– another realisation that had blossomed from Ahsoka– the same spark had been there. Ahsoka's spark. The one that believed, truly and utterly _believed_ in the goodness of people. The same Jedi who felt so much and then, even when hurt, just kept on believing.

_Stop crying._ she scolded herself as salty droplets fell from her eyelashes.

When her door unlocked, she thought it was Ahsoka. Returning so soon, she let herself slip a little, a small knot of excitement found its way into her stomach.

When no-one strolled through the door, or even poked their head around hesitantly, Barriss became confused. She got to her feet and crept to the door. Reaching out, she touched the frame and pulled it towards herself, looking out into the corridor.

No-one still.

Out of her cell she moved, slowly at first, wary about how this could trap her in some elaborate joke or catastrophic mistake. As she moved along the corridors, she gained in confidence; like a dancer remembering their steps. She found no resistance, no clone guards or Republican officers going about their business. The silence was disquieting, like she expected to run into people. This was the RCMO, surely there were hundreds of staff working at any given time?

She smelled the bodies before she saw them.

The scent of singed flesh and melted metal hung in the air, horrific and hauntingly familiar. The odour seemed as if a wall, both physical and hard, blocking the way forward. It reminded her of Umbara in touches, the way the darkness shrouded the horror, but mostly the _smell of the bodies, scattered limbs charred black by plasma fire and lightsaber strike. The luminescent plants broke through the ever presence of murk and left stark outlines of broken bodies and mangled flesh. Among the dead, the droids are nowhere to be seen. Where are the droids? They were meant to be fighting–_

Barriss gasped. She had almost been swallowed, straight into an episode. She squeezed her eyes shut and repeated the mantra.

_I am one with the Force and the Force is with me._

She had learned it from a healer in the medical ward, months ago when she had been recovering from what was still her most recent mission. The tall Twi’lek had smiled at Barriss as she told her of the words and Barriss remembered staring enraptured at the creases of her cheeks as she explained the way that it was used.

“It's an ancient technique,” she had said in between indicating how to breath in on _one with_ and breathe out with _with me_. 

“Most who hear it outside the Order think it's religious, like a prayer of sorts.”

“And it's not?” Barriss replied

The healer laughed and Barriss had marveled at the way that her blue lekku wiggled about. It reminded her of something, but couldn't quite place it through the fog obscuring her thoughts.

“Not really, no more prayer than it is a phrase! It's actually a meditation technique. It focuses the mind, pulling it away from being adrift in the Force and forward into the present, out of your own head. It was developed by us healers a long time ago. That's what you're training to be, isn't it?”

“I am, yes. I must apologise, however, as I have never heard of it.”

The healer waved her off. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, Barriss, it's specialised knowledge after all, and it's rare we use it anyway.”

The thing was, it actually did work, unlike most of the advice from the other healers. After a few sessions of practise, Barriss had been able to shunt her mind out of its inward spiral and anchor herself to reality. For the first time in weeks she had been able to control her own thoughts. Enough to move back into the main Temple.

When she repeated it now, it still filled her with the same cool rush of relief that she had felt back then. She turned the corner, aware of what she would find, but no longer afraid of it consuming her.

The clones lay at odd angles, piled around each other, and all with dark, messy gashes across their chests, arms, helmets. She crouched over them, feeling out with small tendrils into the Force to see if any were still alive. But none were.

An eye stared out at her, exposed through a long gash in a helmet. It was glassy and lifeless, edged by deformed metal that had heated and solidified into a multitude of small bulbous spheres. She stared back and found herself imagining the hundred ways this life could have ended, if not for the intervention of swift violence. Footsteps echoed across the hall as more clones. These ones alive, hurried into the gruesome scene.

She heard a sharp intake of breath and voices whispered shocked exclamations of disbelief.

“H-hands up, sir.”

The clone who spoke sounded young, inexperienced. Fresh. Younger still, considering the clones were, as a people, only granted half a life and discarded when they became no longer useful to the machinery of war. She stood slowly, understanding how it must look to him, to see a Jedi surrounded by the bodies of his older, much more experienced comrades. A Jedi, who he has been taught about since birth as his betters, his rightful masters.

It must be terrifying. She moved as non-threateningly as possible.

“...honestly though! Do you never think for yourself? I have no motive!”

“Ha! Come now, we both know that's far from true.”

“OK, no _good_ motive then! I caught her, for kriff's sake, don't you think if I wanted to kill her then I–”

Ahsoka cut off as she and Tarkin rounded the corner, backed with a couple more clones. The new arrivals stood as frozen as the others as they took everything in.

“Take her down.” said Tarkin, a stone edge to his voice. Barriss felt her stomach dive into a pit.

“Are you out of your mind, Tarkin, what do you think you're doing?!” Ahsoka shouted, agast. 

Tarkin ignored her, instead focusing on the clones who seemed hesitant to attack a Commander.

“She is too dangerous to be kept a prisoner. Look at what she has done even with Force restraints. Take her down now!”

“No you don't. Can't believe Anakin thinks you're his friend.” Ahsoka says as she launched into a kick, knocking the admiral to the floor. “Barriss, run!”

The guards, more willing to fight a target on the move and an active combatant at that, turned to fire at Ahsoka, who began incapacitating them with a combination of acrobatics and Force pushes.

Barriss ran. Straight towards a clone lining up a shot and swept the legs from under him. A second one turned and got a shot off before she rammed into him, thrusting herself upwards and bringing her heavy restraints down upon his head. She realised his shot had grazed a bloody slice across her cheek as he crumpled to the floor. Ahsoka dispatched the last ones standing with powerful blows to their exposed necks.

“That wasn't running Barriss.” Ahsoka said wiping her brow with now uncuffed hands.

They began to jog together down the corridor towards the entrance of the labyrinthine prison. 

“I couldn't just leave you, they were shooting at you!”

“The day I can't handle a few people shooting at me is the day I die!”

“That's exactly what I was worried about!”

“Pff, sure!” Ahsoka glanced about. “You know I'm just following you, right? I assume we're going this way for a reason?”

“Well I have to get rid of these” Barriss replied, shaking her wrist binding for emphasis. “I know just the tools for the job.”

Ahsoka's approval came with a flash of tooth.

****

—

****

**  
**

All in all Luminara was quite proud of how quickly she'd managed to put her rescue operation together. She’d spent the last couple of days holed up in the Temple library, pouring over Coruscant construction records. It had taken some significant sweet talking, but Master Nu had eventually granted her unlimited access to that archive. A quick scan through of the RCMO blueprints had revealed several easily exploitable flaws, and she had chosen the most convenient among them and planned the timeframe down to the nearest detail. 

Her absence from the Council would have been noticed, but whilst unusual, it was far from unprecedented for a Master to go missing for days at a time when working on personal projects. It was probably a little less appropriate during a time of war, but Luminara reasoned that she had earned some leeway as far as the Order was concerned.

When the alarm started its blaring whine, she cursed under her breath and moved faster through the bowels of the building. She’d been discovered, either because she hadn't been careful enough, or because security was actually better than her research had led on. If she was fast she could still get in and extract Barriss before a lockdown came into effect.

Just as quickly as she cut through the grate, she caught it, nimble fingers darting out to stop it clattering to the floor. An agent of grace, she swept down through the hole in a silent, practiced motion, landing in an agile crouch. She stood and brushed herself down, never one to leave herself in a scruff, even when in highly covert stealth missions. She hasn't bothered to disable the camera, she and Barriss were meant to have long since fled by the time the footage would be noticed.

When she brought her head up however, her quarry was nowhere to be seen. Instead an empty bed greeted her, sheets slightly ruffled in a fashion quite unlike Barriss. She turned around and saw the cell door wide open and the corridor beyond was gloomy, bathed in angry red lighting. The alarm could still be heard, incessant and echoing through the halls of the complex.

“Oh, for the love of–”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, not fast enough Luminara. 
> 
> Join me next time for more daring escapades and just maybe some old allies and new friends swing their heads in the door!


	11. Chapter 11

There were too many things Ahsoka wished she could say to Barriss. They shouted and whispered in bursts, pushing and squeezing against each other until they blurred together into a roiling jumble in her head, pressing against the walls of her skull. The words, urgent as they were, would not, could not reach Barriss even if she tried screaming them out into the world, just to have some release. The howling pressure of the wind snatching away all but the loudest of sounds into its unending maw. Thin bullets of rain jabbed at their skin and clothes in a tireless onslaught, no shelter from it existed at their vantage point. Combined, the wind and rain became themselves a united front, beating down all who dared expose themselves to its terrible fury, like a pair of disappointed parents. Now was definitely not the time to have a heart to heart.

They were also being shot at, which didn't help, but that was secondary really.

Blaster fire came towards them lightning fast as streaks of blue plasma, shaking and distorting as the hot bolts travelled across the sky. The shots weren't much of a threat. For all that they were quick and deadly, they came at them sluggish and inaccurate, these clones had been employed too long in the deep heart of the capital and consequently rarely saw much combat and were lax in their drill. As an obstacle, they were easily avoided, even by a pair of drowned, teenage Jedi.

The durasteel walkways were slick with rainwater, and Ahsoka found herself almost slipping on a number of occasions. The fragile sheets of metal rattled with each step Barriss and her took as they flew across, no destination in mind except for _away from here._

At some point spotlights found them and illuminated them from above. Dropships. Ahsoka was surprised at the speed they'd managed to bring out the big guns against them, given the abysmal performance of the ground troops.

 _Keep your vision down._ she thought, willing her momentum not to stop in the face of the blinding white torch beams.

She took Barriss' hand, almost her wrist really, on instinct, and charged across the remainder of the walkway. She wouldn't let them be separated at the last hurdle. Ahead of them a shaft that dropped into the sewers. Barely a glance between them and she jumped in, tapping the Force enough to thankfully land on her feet.

Instantly the stench of rot filled her nostrils, an oppressive wall of sensation on all sides. Her stomach, already loosened by the adrenaline of her flat out sprinting, turned uncomfortably, and for a single horrifying moment, Ahsoka was sure she was about to throw up.

When the nausea passed, Ahsoka looked about and found Barriss with her eyes wide and alert, searching across the dark walls of the sewage pipe. Ahsoka wasn't sure how Barriss was dealing with the smell but knew better than to ask, there still wasn't time.

"This way!" Barriss said suddenly, and took off down an even darker passage.

A few more twists and corners swept by before they heard voices, the Mandalorian cadence of the troopers who'd dropped in behind them echoing mutely against the duracrete walls. Barriss slowed and reached out as if to grab at Ahsoka's shoulder before drawing her hand against herself sharply, like she was recoiling from a fire. Ahsoka tried not to be too disappointed by the gesture, and made to keep going down the tunnel they were in, having picked up the vague escape route Barriss had eked out from the Force.

"Aren't you going to ask me?" Barriss asked from behind her, her breathed question barely above a whisper and eyes cast away at some unseen corner.

"Ask you what?" Ahsoka replied, continuing to walk through the shallow stream of what she hoped was mostly water.

"If I killed those men."

"You obviously didn't."

"But how do you know! I was surrounded by dead bodies, blasters trained on me, I couldn't have been more suspicious if I tried! Why did you help me?"

"OK, did you do it?" Ahsoka sighed.

"No! But–"

"Good, glad that's cleared up then." Barriss still didn't follow. "Barriss. Of course you didn't do it. You had no motive, no means, including the extremely vital detail of no access to the Force, let alone a lightsaber."

Ahsoka listed the reasons off on her fingers like a detective in a cheesy holo serial. She knew Barriss had already thought of these things, but she had a dangerously stubborn streak when it came to sacrificing herself for the sake of others.

"Look, Barriss, if these past few weeks have taught me anything, it's that I am very willing to trust you, even when I probably shouldn't, even in the face of some less than stellar evidence. So if you say you didn't do it, then I believe you. And come on, guilty or not, I wasn't going to let Tarkin of all people order your execution with impunity! So honestly, even if you are lying to me, there's not much I can do about it, because I'd make those same decisions again."

Ahsoka clasped Barriss' hands in her own as Barriss let out a sob of relief.

"Thank you" she said, whispered and resolute and overflowing with sincerity. "Thank you. OK, let's go."

"Yeah, that's more like it! Out of the cauldron and into the fire!"

"That's…not really something you should be cheering about."

Ahsoka just grinned.

**—**

“You doing alright down there?” Anakin asked, a morsel of joyful bemusement tickling against his mouth, threatening to turn into full blown laughter. He was vindicated by Tarkin's response, a deepening scowl, and decided to show a little mercy. The admiral hoisted himself off the floor with his help.

“Yes, well, compliments of your Padawan.” He said, sweeping his hand across the black patch adorning his face which was showing hints of turning yellow-green, not that Anakin could have missed it. The sight of it filled him with a little giddy pride. Clearly Ahsoka had stumbled across something of a conspiracy, and if she had to step outside of the law to get it done, then Tarkin’s face was the unfortunate but very amusing price that had to be paid. It was exactly what Anakin would have done in her shoes, and it was proof Ahsoka did listen to him from time to time.

Tarkin, it didn’t need to be said, could not see the humour in the situation, and went about shouting orders at the clones unfortunate enough to have awakened from the floor, probably to make himself feel better. Once he'd gotten it out of his system, Anakin managed to pull Tarkin away to a side room with slightly more privacy.

“So, those bodies out there.” He said, the question dancing about his tone.

“Barriss Offee, most likely.”

_Of course. Everything seems to loop back to that troublesome girl._

“Most likely? So, did you see her kill those soldiers, then?”

“Hmpf, might as well have! When I arrived on the scene, dragging your own wayward Padawan in tow I might add, she was standing over those bodies, surrounded by more clones. That’s when they had the bright idea to rearrange my face.”

“Speaking of Ahsoka...you’d just arrested her?” He said, pushing against the small voice of worry circling around the back of his head.

Even Tarkin, it seemed, could scrounge up some semblance of tact, and seemed hesitant to damn Ahsoka directly in front of Anakin.

“We arrested her in relation with the death of Ms Turmond. Skywalker...we have her on video committing the act, and there were no other Jedi in the building, apart from Commander Offee, who was in Force restraining bracelets. I know you likely don't want to hear this but...she must have done it.”

“Show me the footage.” Anakin scowled, folding his arms against his chest. The uneasy feeling still stalking him like a lothwolf waiting to strike.

“...Are you sure? What will that–"

“Just! ...please just show me, Tarkin.”

The video was short, 30 seconds at most between the prisoner talking animatedly and her neck snapping at an unnatural angle. Ahsoka appeared to hold out her hands, as if perpetrating the act. But her face was wrong. She glanced about at one point, and her expression was twisted in frozen terror.

"Why is there no audio?"

"Fluctuations from the storm, we think." Tarkin said, dismissing the query with a hand wave.

"Then this evidence isn't very good then is it? What could have been said that caused Ahsoka to go from cordial to murderous in less than a minute?"

"Do I look like an investigator? Honestly that isn't my concern. What is my concern, Skywalker, is that Commander Tano is, as of now, a fugitive of the Republic, and I will do everything in my power to bring her to justice."

Anakin narrowed his eyes. "If your first attempt was anything to go by, it'll be a long fucking time before you bring Ahsoka anywhere."

"Oh please, General, there's no need for that sort of language. Let's try to be civilised, this is the Core after all."

Anakin narrowed his eyes. It wasn't the first time he'd heard the veiled insult. He did consider Tarkin, if not a friend, then of a like mind at least. It stung a little.

"Fuck you." He said before striding away.

**—**

The door stood before her as a slab of nondescript beige, taunting her. For something so unassuming, the humble door was extremely intimidating. Riyo was sure she'd got the right place, but it was impossible to tell which identical door was which, until the small panel of durasteel indented with a letter number combination had revealed itself, impressively even more mundane than the door. She flicked through her communicator, the third time in the last 5 minutes, and checked the message Padmé had sent her.

Yep, J-759, this was definitely it. And yet still she hovered, just on the cusp of entering, nervousness coiling around and around her lungs, squeezing the breath from her.

_This was ridiculous, I have nothing to be anxious about, I've been invited, for kriff's sake!_

Riyo decided to knock, an acceptable compromise between striding in on a wave of presumption, and turning tail and fleeing back to her quarters. The door slid aside with a hiss of automated hydraulics, Riyo stepping over the threshold gingerly.

Despite its bland exterior, the secluded chamber in the lower bowels of the Senate exhibited itself in warmth and invitation, a jewel of a room hewn from a base of unremarkable storage space. Deep red fabrics lined the furnishings and stood against blue and purple panels of wood-in-resin that lined the walls and floors, so dark that they may as well have been black. The rich colours and the dim yellowish lighting, reduced the room, making it seem a more intimate size.

The occupants were all seated in an irregular circle, save for Padmé, who’d stood to apparently let Riyo in. That in itself was a touch strange, no protocol droids dotted the periphery as she had become accustomed to as a constant in her diplomatic lifestyle.

Padmé, who wore a signature sculpture of braided and loosened hair snaking over her head in an oval, smiled and beckoned her in. As she did so, Riyo took the time to glance at the faces around the room and recognised several high profile senators, including some she had barely spoken too, such as the unyielding Mothma, whose back was always unnaturally straight. This did nothing to calm her nerves.

“Is this a cult?” Riyo asked Padmé in a stage whisper, hoping to break the tension. The lavish surroundings and dim lighting screamed 'secret society' and was setting her on edge. Padmé simply laughed.

“Oh, all this? No, all of this…well it's my fault really, I should have known better than to leave interior decorating to Bail!”

Bail Organa lifted his glass of…something in acknowledgement, a wry smile on his face.

“Honestly, you lot have no taste.” 

He was one of the more casually dressed members of the group, but still managed to exude an air of royalty with his plain silver, knee length Alderaani tunic, and matching black leggings.

“This isn't anything really, just a place to relax and have more informal meetings.” Padmé continued "It's nothing serious.”

“Yet.” said Mothma from the corner, her eyes were blazing and piercing, and they continued to stare straight into Riyo, unwavering.

“Yet, right. Honestly though, it's just a comfy room to chat in.”

“It's a lounge.” Senator Bendon chimed in.

“Thank you, Tendau, yes a _lounge_.”

Riyo was still confused.

“So…why did you invite me here then?”

“We're friends aren't we?” Padmé said, lacing her words with a little mock injury. “Couldn't I have just invited you here to mingle?”

“I'm sure you could've done, but somehow I sense you didn't.”

Padmé hadn't stopped smiling since Riyo had first arrived, but now it stretched even wider, a glint in her eyes.

"Well, well, well. We'll make a fine politician out of you yet!" Padmé beamed. "Yes, you're quite right, Senator Chuchi, we invited you here to discuss your friend."

"My friend?" Riyo asked, despite knowing exactly which friend she was referring to.

"Yes, I'm sure you've seen the news by now, it's been all over the holos this morning. Journalists couldn't _wait_ to gobble up such a juicy story. Treason, Jedi, plenty of drama to dissect indefinitely across the 24 hour news cycle."

"So…you want to talk about Ahsoka?"

"I'm sure you believe that she's innocent, don't you?" said Mothma, still stone still. "We want to build a legal case for her, to prevent any…miscarriages of justice."

"Wouldn't openly advocating…for a traitor against the Republic be...well, tantamount to treason?"

"My dear Senator" laughed Organa, still sipping away at his scandalously early drink. "If we didn't defend Republic citizens' rights to openly discuss treason, who will?" 

"So what's your answer, Riyo?" 

She didn't have to think about it. Ahsoka was her friend, she would never murder anyone in cold blood, she knew that for certain. If this helped her out, she was all for it.

"I'm in."

**—**

They didn't encounter much resistance as they traversed the remainder of the winding maze, it was easy to duck and hide away from the torches with the troopers stretched as thin as they were. When they crept down the last passageway, the gigantic hole in the skin of Coruscant loomed before them, kilometers across and impossibly deep, a sinking maw in the urban ecosystem with ships from all across the Galaxy flying in and out to warehouses and underground docks and anywhere else they were needed. That's where Ahsoka and Barriss had to go, down below the surface. If there was a conspiracy at work, they needed to get to the bottom of it, and that wouldn't be possible from inside a GAR prison cell.

Barriss was about to start discussing her many half formed plans for how to get the two of them down there, but was cut off by a heavy thunk behind them.

“Barriss!”

Luminara’s voice cracked through the sewer pipe like thunder, sudden and silencing, laced with authoritative finality. Barriss went stiff next to Ahsoka, freezing at her Master’s call, her fingers tightening involuntarily against Ahsoka and almost digging themselves into her skin. After a moment of inaction, she released her grip and jerked around to face down her Master.

Ahsoka turned slowly beside her, and Barriss saw her hesitation. This would be Barriss and Master Unduli’s moment, and Barriss knew Ahsoka wasn’t about to try and sluice herself between them. They stood side by side, Barriss resisting a desperate urge to reach for the hand next to hers.

Luminara stood defiant as the wind battered against her silhouette, loose ends and flaps of her cloak and robes jerked wildly across her unmoving form. She stood strong and unfazed, her legs stretched apart and her fists remained clenched against her sides. There was a fury and purpose that burned through her irises so intensely that Barriss wanted to flinch and shy away.

But she needed to do this. If any of this was going to work, she needed to face down everything made her petrified with fear and doubt.

“Master?” She called, a desperation bleeding into her voice. “What...what are you doing here?”

"I'm here for you, Barriss! Just come back with me, we can sort this out, I know we can."

"We can't go back to the Temple, Master! We're not safe, they're trying to stop us!"

"They're–? No, Barriss, come over here, away from Tano, she's manipulating you, filling your head with lies!"

"Hey!" shouted an indignant Ahsoka.

"What do you mean, Master? Ahsoka saved me!"

Luminara's piercing glare softened slightly. "Oh child, I know. It always feels like that at first, doesn't it. But Barriss, please, you must listen to me, we can sort this all out. I know it's scary, but whatever she has told you, it's not true, no one's coming after you!"

"Master, stop! You–you don't know what you're saying. Ahsoka wouldn't hurt me, she saved me! Tarkin was going to kill me! She saved my life! I'm not some naïve child anymore, why won't you just listen to me? Why can you never believe me? Please, Master, just…please…"

Luminara looked absolutely shocked. A look that rarely crossed her face.

"Oh…" she said, her tone faltering away from it's previous decisiveness. "But I thought…"

Her body relaxed, shoulders slumping and hands flattening out against her waterlogged robes.

"That does sound like Tarkin."

Barriss moved forward slowly with a few wading splashes. Master Unduli opened her arms and wrapped Barriss up in an engulfing hug, solid arms clamped against her small frame with such force that it was almost like Luminara was afraid Barriss would disappear if she didn't hold on tight enough. She winded her own hands into the folds of Luminara's robes, nose wrinkling at the unpleasant texture.

All at once Barriss felt tears pressing against her eyelids and found she didn't have the energy to contain them.

"It's alright, dear." Luminara murmured against the side of her head.

When they pulled away from each other, Master Unduli had regained a resolute stance, and looked past her at the ledge.

"Alright, where are we headed first?"

"We–? Master you can't come with us! You need to stay with the Council, you'd be a fugitive if you helped us!" 

"Barriss…do you know why I'm here? I broke into the RCMO to free you. I'm practically already a fugitive. I refuse to lose you again, even if it means breaking a few laws."

"Wow, thanks Master Unduli!" Ahsoka chimed in, getting a wary glance for her troubles.

"Heh…uh, right. Anyway, I figured out how to get down." Ahsoka claimed through her nervous smile.

She walked over to the sewer ledge and then jumped off without warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter, thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

Luminara didn't have much faith when her order was met with silence and the particular dull stare of an employee who was already sick of customers half an hour into their shift. The mug, if you could call it that, was at least full, though she wasn't sure whether that would make the experience better or worse. She rolled it around in her hand, the flexible plasteel knockoff crinkling in her grip, and investigated the murky translucence of her drink. Coalesced at the bottom were only-just-visible dark green particulates that wavered heavily with every swirl.

_It's instant!_ she shuddered before chiding herself for attachment to the physical. Whilst the tea wasn’t particularly appetising, but it’d have to do.

Sighing, she placed the cup into the holder with the other two drinks and hoisted it away from the counter, and strode through the dimly lit establishment. It was technically daytime, but the atmosphere inside and out of the shop didn’t do much to back that up, the storm and their current urban depth worked in concert to shroud any sunrays that would have made it down this far.

If anything good was to be said for caf-culture, the shops were always awash in low lit bulbs that acted as much a part of the display as the crudely carved tables and half finished wallpaper. That, along with the fact that half the clientele were also buried in heavy cloaks for the sake of their ridiculous fashions, meant no-one would think twice about their presence.

"Yes!" Ahsoka exclaimed, her eyes fixed on the black caf she had ordered and almost vibrated out of her chair with excitement. Handing over Barriss and Ahsokas' drinks, Luminara sat opposite them, and relaxed herself into the darkness of the booth. Ahsoka let out an exaggerated moan and Barriss tried to hide a smile into her drink. Luminara narrowed her eyes.

She still wasn't sure about Ahsoka. Nothing so far had actually disproven her original working theory that _Ahsoka_ was the devious mastermind behind it all, but even Luminara had to admit that was becoming more far-fetched with every moment. The sheer number of coincidences that Ahsoka would've had to orchestrate by now was at the point of absurdity, and she definitely couldn't have pulled it off alone. From what Luminara had seen, she also wouldn't be in charge of the operation, unless her overexcitement was an act sixteen years in the making designed solely to woo Barriss to her side.

None of it sat right with Luminara anymore, but in the off chance that it was true… Well, she would keep an eye out, even if it was just out of pure paranoia. Not for the first time, she longed for the days of pre-war simplicity.

Luminara took a sip of tea and immediately regretted it, wrinkling her nose. She supposed it was too much to ask that they'd have decent tea on the lower levels, but she could dream.

“We need to plan our next step.” she said, once the teens had pumped a sufficient amount of stimulants into their bodies.

“Right!” said Ahsoka, eager as always. Her fidgeting had only become worse with caf. “We only have one lead so far, Asajj Ventress.”

“Ventress? What makes you think she’s involved? The last I heard she had cut her ties with Dooku and disappeared off into the Galaxy.”

“Indeed, Master. I know for a fact that she is working as a bounty hunter right here on Coruscant, or was a few days ago.”

“You know it...for a fact?”

Barriss dipped her head, and Luminara saw the telltale blush of overachievement bloom across her cheeks. She was acting like she used to, when she'd stayed up and spent all night researching their next mission.

“I..may have stalked her Master.”

Luminara raised a brow.

“It was only a little bit! Honestly, I just wanted to know for sure when I heard.”

There was a snort off to the side as Ahsoka muffled her mouth behind a hand. Luminara needed stronger tea for this.

“OK, leaving that aside, that still doesn’t explain why you think she may be involved in this."

"Oh, that's easy. Letta told me that the person who released the nano-swarm had a mask, so I think it’s _pretty_ obvious" Ahsoka chimed in, awash with unearned confidence.

“I see, so if I have this correct, we’re looking for… anyone with a mask? Well of course, that's it!"

"It is?"

"Indeed, Padawan Tano, I shall have Master Plo arrested at once.”

“Master, please!” Barriss cried, face half buried in her hands and the delightful tinge of mortified green spread further along her cheeks. “Two lightsabers! They had...they, the person that set the explosion, they had two lightsabers. It's what Letta told _me_. I know it's slim, Master, but it really is all we have to go on. There's no way we'd be able to investigate any of the crime scenes with our status.”

Luminara sighed and took another drink of tea. Surprise, surprise, it was still foul.

"I suppose it is better than nothing. Do either of you have any ideas about tracking down Ventress for a little chat?"

The pair shared a guilty glance, like she'd caught them out in a test.

"Right. Not to worry, I can try and dredge up a contact from my Knight days, I'm sure at least a few of them are still alive."

"Oh." Barriss said quietly, but not enough that Luminara didn’t pick up on it. She knew that 'oh'.

"What is it Barriss?" she asked, as gently as she could.

"There was an ex-bounty hunter at the Anti-War meetings." She said, low and vehemently avoiding eye contact with the others. "I could always ask him?"

It was shame then. Luminara reached out with a hand but Barriss scurried hers into her lap before she could comfort her.

"Is he far away?"

"He lives really close." Barriss still had her eyes locked downwards.

"It's worth a shot, right Master Unduli?" Ahsoka said, hope filtering in.

"I suppose it is." She downed the remains of her drink. Absolutely dire. "Come on then."

****

—

****

**  
**

Padmé smoothed her hand across Anakin's back and he leaned into the touches, soaking himself in the soothing energy and absorbing it like warmth to cool his fraying nerves. He felt stretched in too many directions and spent because of it, but her gentle scrapes were pulling him steadily back together. Sometimes he still marveled at how much love he had for her, the intensity of it burst at his seams, and how he curled into her embrace like he'd always belonged there. She was the constant that kept him together and focused and exactly where he needed to be. She kept him sane, and he adored that even when she was the lost one, the one scrambled with stress, she too could lean on him for support and that would still quench the need deep in his very soul. It wasn't hard to imagine that he would collapse if he ever lost her…

It wasn't worth thinking about. She was here with him now in their shared private space, too strong as a whole to be torn from each other. Despite everything, they were together. They always would be, he would make sure of it.

"She's out there, Padmé." He murmured, his voice muffled from leaning into her shoulder. "She's _alone_. I just want her to be safe, I wish I could just…"

"Shhh, I know, love, I feel it too. But it's alright. She'll be OK, I just know it. Besides, she isn't alone is she? Barriss is there to look out for her."

Anakin scoffed. "Sure, that little traitor. Maybe it will be painless when she stabs Ahsoka in the back." She padded a soft hand toward him in annoyance.

"Hey, now, enough of that! Do you really think Ahsoka would have gone with Barriss if she still believed that? She's smarter than that. You honestly can be such an idiot."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he said, twisting his head towards her.

He was answered with a smirk.

"Oh, ha ha. Well, jokes on you then, because you married me. That makes me your idiot!"

“Oh hells, I suppose it does.” she said in mock exasperation, before she looked down to stroke his jaw and pulled him in for a peck. "My beautiful, fearless idiot."

Anakin's glow didn't last, he sobered and slumped back down, his thick curls brushing against her chest.

"Do you honestly think she'll be fine?" he asked, quiet once more.

"Ahsoka is a resourceful and intelligent young woman. Plus she's almost as determined as me! She'll be fine, trust me"

Anakin hummed. He stared out at the Coruscant night sky, a thousand glittering specks of orange dancing across the black. One of those specks could be Ahsoka, terrified and on the run, exhausted as if the _whips could taste her already. She was cowering in the corner of the dusty alley, cheeks drenched with tears and the green of her skin turned sickly pale. Anakin knew he should ignore her, if Watto found out he would punish him, hurt his mum too for good measure. But he can't leave her there, he just can’t!_

_He stole over, and offered some bread liberated from one of the stalls, one that wouldn't mind if they knew the cause. She devoured it hungrily, all the while throwing him cautious glances._

_"I'm Ani!" he said, in an excited whisper. Montrals quivered, either from the cool of the rapidly approaching night, or from fear._

_"Why?" the child asked eventually, glancing up between nibbles. She didn't elaborate, but she didn't need to._

_He screwed up his face. "I'm a slave too. But mum says we always have to be kind and help those in need!" he recited._

_"Mum says it would be very 'un-wizard' to leave someone when you could help. I told her that's not how you say that, but she just laughed!"_

_She was silent for a few moments before looking into his eyes again._

_"Thank you, Ani."_

"Ani?"

Padmé stirred him from his reverie, concern dusted across her face. Reaching up, he stroked her arm.

"Don't worry, I was just lost in the past."

They both rest there for a while, pushing up against each other in the best way possible, and stared out at the vista. Anakin finds his words soon enough.

"They're going to expel them from them from the Order. That's what Obi-Wan said in his last message, anyway. He's been fighting it, but the tide of the Council is too far tilted to stop it. They have to be seen doing something, the public's opinion of the Jedi has never been lower, and the Chancellor's office has officially petitioned for it. They're making the decision tomorrow, and there's nothing I can do about it. If I was on the Council I could speak out against it, but instead I'm powerless…"

Padmé didn't say anything, and just let him get it out. She always knew when he needed her to talk, and when he needed to vent. Force, how could she be so perfect? He feared he was not half as perceptive as she needed, too hot headed, too quick to act instead of think.

"Kriff, I'm a Jedi Knight, and _still_! I'm still helpless to save the people I love. What’s…” He quiets. “What’s the point of my freedom if I’m still powerless to help those I love?

"And still! Still people look down upon me, for my manner, for my accent. Tarkin, a man I thought could be my friend, made a sneering comment about it today."

He fumbled with his fingers, trying to figure out how to phrase his anguish. When he did, he was surprised she could hear, for how whispered it was.

"Do you think I’ll ever truly be free Padmé?"

“Oh Ani…I think...I think none of us are truly free. I don’t think society would be worth living in if we were. Our obligations to others, yes they can be binding at times. And awful. But they can be so much more. Think of the love you have for Ahsoka, that need to protect her. It’s a chain that binds you to her, but it is of the most wonderful kind. It is how we choose to act, who we choose to bind ourselves to and how we make this Galaxy a better place that defines us.”

“Like the Force. You are so smart, you know that?”

“I am aware, yes.”

Oh that goofy grin was like heaven melted over toast and he couldn't help but reciprocate.

“I still need to do something. I can’t just sit and wait while Ahsoka’s in danger.”

“I’m sure we can think of something for you to help…”

****

—

****

**  
**

The searing heat of clone plasma shot violently past her head and split open against the sheer wall of a building, a bloom of sparks showering across her vision. Barriss wasn't sure quite how it had come to this. Except that was a blatant lie, and she knew exactly.

It had started out well. Barriss had felt a welcome wave of relief overcome her when Deorg answered the door, his ruffled hair and loose clothing suggesting he had come straight from bed. After hours of unfamiliar streets and smells, it had been nice to see another friendly face. He'd peered at her through bleary eyes, which then widened when they took in his new guest.

After a moment of shock at seeing Barriss alive, relatively healthy, and out of prison, he'd hurried the trio inside his small apartment and fussed around them with biscuits, insisting they sit down on the garishly bright sofas, littered with more mismatched throws and cushions than there was space available. Along the cramped walls there hung brightly coloured pieces of cloth and hundreds of miniature lights.

He had been in the middle of handing Ahsoka yet another sugary treat, when Barriss had plucked up the courage to ask him. She explained their situation, leaving out any unnecessary and incriminating details.

In response he'd disappeared into his pile of plush furniture ornaments and emerged clutching a holonet browser. He strapped it to his wrist and had typed away. A few minutes later he handed Barriss a small slip, with an address on it.

"She'll meet you here." he had said. His previous glow had slipped away, and had left him looking tired.

"Thank you...thank you for this. It means a lot.”

“I’m sure it does. Now if you’ll all come with me.”

“What do you…”

“No time, come on! You have to leave out the back.”

"Why can't we go out the front?" Ahsoka had asked as she tipped the entire plate of food into her cloak pocket. 

_How are you still so hungry?_ Barriss had thought. She had then promptly whipped around and plunged her head down when she felt the grin erupt on her face.

As it turned out Deorg was under surveillance. Republican surveillance. He had links to a known terrorist organisation. The revelation had left her cold with a sheen of horror. Barriss had done it again. Ruined another innocent life with her selfish crusade. 

When she'd tried to apologise, he had simply waved her away and explained it wasn't the first time a government had used force to suppress a pacifist movement he'd been a part of. It didn't reassure her, but there wasn't much time to argue when she was being bungled out of a window.

As predicted, there were troopers on the street, waiting for them, shiny helmets and long menacing barrels preparing to storm a building for fugitives. Still languishing in guilt she'd tried to do something to stop more innocents from getting hurt in the crossfire. She'd taken a step forward, or at least tried to, but found her body yanked back by Luminara's steely grip on her shoulder.

"Barriss, Ahsoka, I need you both to run. Get away from here, I'll draw them off and meet you here." And then she had shoved another slip into Barriss' hands. The flimsi had an address printed on it, seemingly a normal residential apartment in the Upper-Mid levels. If she kept collecting addresses at this rate, she would be practically laden with them by the end of the day.

“But Master…”

“Go!” Luminara had bellowed, and ignited her lightsaber. The troopers turned towards the glow and suddenly there was a pitched battle in the middle of the street. Barriss had felt a tugging and looked down to find Ahsoka pulling her sleeve.

"We gotta move Barriss!"

Which is how she'd found herself careening down the street in the opposite direction whilst being blasted at. A quick glance back revealed a number of clones had peeled off from the pack to follow them instead of Master Unduli.

“Into the station!” Ahsoka shouted from ahead of her and leapt over the metallic railings onto some steps leading to a hovertrain station. Barriss didn’t even think about it. They were both of them actors of instinct now, gliding along currents that their subconscious chose, neither fully in control any longer.

Barriss sprinted at the barrier, headlong and full of determination. Ahsoka and her vaulted at the same time as their pursuers skidded around the corner.

“Halt!” One shouted and raised his weapon.

Carried forward by adrenaline and momentum, Barriss kept going, dodging into the hordes of people in the station interior. She pressed on the Force in light touches as she danced in between the countless bodies shuffling along. Behind she heard the sound of a blaster going off.

When the shot blasted over the platform, the crowd jostling for the hovertrain scattered, a cacophony of cries and shouts built in the low space and echoed against the curve of the walls.

Ahsoka saw one of them try to get to her from the side, and she wasted no time in launching at him, and knocked him into the rapidly empty train. The one following behind Barriss had vaulted the barrier and jumped into the carriage behind her as she slipped past the doors.

Thanks to droid powered efficiency, the hovertrains were automatic, and doors managed to close, with only one more trooper managing to slide past. Three on two were much better odds.

Barriss ducked behind a row of seats as her tail opened fire on her again. She waited in clouds of burning furniture for him to start his approach before she flipped into close quarters with him.

A couple of well aimed strikes at his armour weak points and she managed to knock him to the ground. Without a second wasted, she twirled around and ran through the isle to help Ahsoka, who was attempting to fight off the other two. One was trying his best to bludgeon Ahsoka with the butt of his rifle, but the other one was trying to line up a shot that wouldn’t hit his brother.

Barriss acted on instinct alone when she yelled, alerting him. He swivelled in her direction, gun still raised. As if held sluggishly in time, she saw the trooper with his gun, the barrell aimed at Barriss and the moment he pulled on the trigger.

The bolt flew at Barriss and she held out her hand, eyes squeezed shut. When she opened them, she breathed out in uneven shock.

It slowed, it actually slowed when she reached out in the Force and touched the million particles of blue plasma, shimmering and vibrating in a cylinder suspended in the air. She’d only ever read about the practise, more of a theory really than something Jedi usually put into practice, but here it was. Proof that it worked.

She moved carefully to the side and out of the bolt’s intended target range as Ahsoka took the trooper down with a high kick.

And then there was a flash of fire.

Her grasp on the bolt, already tentative and strained, is shut off completely and it released, flashing past her head and off into the side of the hovertrain. The flame throbbed at her side, and as Barriss looked down, she saw a bloody gash torn through her skin, leaving nothing but oozing dark liquid that dripped across her hand and down to the floor.

Suddenly it became very hard to focus. She knew she had to do something, but she couldn't quite remember what, the idea just out of reach at the edges of the white that was starting to crowd her vision. A small tactile sensation scraped along her knees and then across her arm and eventually she realised that she was seeing the world sideways. She'd fallen to the ground. 

Why had she done that? Surely she needed to get up to help with…It was gone again. The blurring of her vision got steadily worse and her eyelids were rocks, tumbling down the cliff face of her eyeballs.

Time doesn’t quite flow properly in that moment, so when Ahsoka rushed to her side, it felt startlingly fast.

Where was she again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while hasn't it? Sorry for the delay, I really struggled with this chapter, so I hope you guys think it's worth the wait!
> 
> This has let me develop how I want the rest of the story to go, though, so the next one probably won't be as long of a wait! I think there might be around 5 or 6 chapters left if it keeps going to plan?
> 
> Next time: ...Barriss?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for some more dead body descriptions

_  
Once again, Barriss found herself surrounded by darkness. The shadows, as they always seemed to, swirled and shifted around her in their delicate, unknowable patterns. Life, or maybe the Force itself, made it a point to find a way to periodically engulf her in shrouds of darkness. More often than not its nature was metaphorical and considerably worse for it; a slow, gripping claw of anxiety that wound its way across her chest and, unlike physical dark, refused to be banished by something as simple as an electrified bulb. This time however, the dark was no illusion. Darting across the gloom, her eyes refused to adjust themselves._

_A splash of dazzlingly hot blue ripped across the ground before her as she ignited her lightsaber. Light from the blade bounced off of black plants and her vision began to find purchase on murky surfaces that took shape. The tops of the plants had glowing red points, a faint, natural beacon to insects that they were alive and healthy. Flora on this planet worked at a steady, tireless pace to absorb vital nutrients from the soil and geothermal activity below, without need for anything pesky like sunshine. From a biological standpoint, it was admirable really. Barris just wished that she could admire it academically, preferably alone in a vast, well lit library, and not stuck in the thick of blackened brush._

_Soon enough, she could make out a further glow emanating from plants surrounding her, this time faint purple sacks on the tall trees that resembled tentacles coiling up towards the endless dark. Once the permanent night of Umbara became slightly more comprehensible to her, she deactivated her lightsaber, and straightened out her tunic._

_Retreating back out of the forest she soon came across the small clearing, still alive with the bustle of GAR activity. Clones were busily setting up their makeshift airfield, dropships and fighters littered the ground, individual pieces filling out a pattern that was slowly gaining form. Rows of tents flapped against strong, mist-laden winds, including the large, multi-limbed marquee smack in the centre, which was in the process of being erected and would eventually operate as her very own command-base-come-sleeping-quarters. Boxes full of vital engineering equipment were being offloaded and placed in precise piles stacked behind each aircraft, each resting in their long, straight rows. Her own Z-95 Headhunter, perfectly placed in the middle of it all, was already being refueled and prepped for an imminent air-support mission._

_Republican troops needed this mission badly. Confederate resistance, both from droids and ever defiant natives, had been much fiercer than anyone anticipated. A quick incursion had morphed into a messy slog, crawling along at the pace of a Parnassos Snail._

_Barriss picked her way through the camp, her strides methodical and head held high, headscarf train billowing behind her as the wind picked up and dropped in fitful leaps. Various clones halted their work to briefly salute as she walked past. Arriving at the centre of the base, she walked into the command tent to find Captain Halter already standing next to a large holotable. Flickering blue images of the other Jedi generals and commanders on Umbara were stood around a detailed map of the Capital and its surrounding continent._

_“Commander!” Captain Halter turned and acknowledged her presence with another salute. The harshest criticism Master Unduli had ever given her was to say that she could be just a_ little _bit too hands-on back near the start of her Jedi Commander career. Even the memory made her shudder. That rebuke, stinging as it was, had led her straight to Halter._

_Barriss liked him. A thorough man, he carried out his duties in an efficient manner and trusted her whenever she threw an unorthodox order or strategy his way. Even if he did have a bitter sense of humour, he never felt the need to talk when there was truly nothing to say. They’d spent a number of missions together in blissful near silence. Best of all she could trust him not indulge in the excesses that would push the war unnecessarily into the civilian population._

_Returning his gesture with a slight dip of the head as they passed one another, she drew up to the table, stepping gingerly across the thick line of blue winding its way along the floor, both powering the projector and indicating the recording range. The other Jedi turned as she entered into the hologram field, and she placed her arms against one another in a manner she found to be most dignified, interlocking her sleeves._

_“Ah, Padawan Offee. Good of you to join us.”_

_Obi-Wan stood with his arms crossed, a confident calm exuding from his ghostly visage. Next to him Commander Cody leaned over the edges of the map with both hands, his helmet lay forgotten to his left._

_“Good job with the blockade, Commander. You and Commander Tano really took it to those droids.”_

_“Indeed. Speaking of which where is your apprentice?” Obi-Wan turned to give Anakin a look from across the table. Anakin rolled his eyes._

_“She’ll be here! Soon. Probably. You’re really not giving her much time to set up her base camp!”_

_“Well Barriss here seems to have managed it on time.”_

_“She has just been fighting a battle, General.” Cody had decided to interject himself into the pair’s bickering. It was a brave choice. Obi-Wan threw up his hands in defense._

_“I meant no disrespect”_

_“Glad to hear it!” a new voice said, as the translucent form of Ahsoka strolled up to join the fray. Barriss formed a small smile as she looked her way._

_“Ahsoka” she said, feeling the tightness in her shoulders loosen a fraction. Her body had been unconsciously slightly stiff and rigid until Ahsoka’s arrival._

_“We can finally get started then” said Saessee Tiin, who had, until that moment, been silently standing at the head of the table._

_“What about Master Krell?” Ahsoka asked._

_“He’s currently engaged in an assault on an airbase” Obi-Wan answered. “If he’s successful, it should go a considerably long way in helping you and Padawan Offee’s mission.”_

_Saessee raised a hand to the hologram access panel. After a few seconds of manipulation and the map zoomed in on an area of Separatist territory near the Umbaran capital. A number of red dots appeared at places on the map and names in Umbaran and Basic scripts hovered to their sides. From here, Obi-Wan took control of the briefing._

_“Based on triangulation of official communications and local chatter, these are the locations of six Umbaran army and air bases, which will be extremely difficult to capture through conventional means, thanks to some rather unforgiving geography. However,”_

_Here he brought up enhanced blueprints of the bases._

_“they will be much easier to stand against if they are destroyed or crippled from above before our ground forces even reach this area. That’s where the two of you come in. In addition to the assault squadrons that you used in the battle with the blockade, you have each been assigned a wing of Y-wing bombers. Your mission is to protect these ships and clear their target areas before they come in for their runs.”_

_“Sounds easy enough! You can count on us Master.” Ahsoka turned back to grin at Barriss._

_“I know we can count on you Snips, don’t we Obi-Wan.” Obi-Wan sighed and put his hand over his eyes. Saessee gave a low chuckle._

_“You better go prepare for the mission, good luck.” Barriss bowed and looked to Ahsoka._

_“May the Force be with us.”_

_“Yeah I hope so” Ahsoka replied, her face remained in a cheerful grin. Barriss touched the table and the holograms disappeared, leaving her tent in the throws of shadow once more._

__

_****_

—

_****_

__****

_In all, it was only five hours before the entire squadron was ready for flight. She and Ahsoka had split the targets equally, and had agreed on the time they would both depart, so as to give their plan as much of the element of surprise as possible. When she heard no further communications to inform her differently, she pressed ahead with plan._

_“Captain Halter, give the order.” She spoke the words calmly, but a spike of anxiety hit her stomach. She took a breath and moved towards her fighter, where R7 had already installed itself into the space before the cockpit. She climbed her ladder and placed a helmet on her head. It felt heavy, even after all this time it always felt heavy when she first put on her flight helmet._

_“R7 are we ready to go?” The electronic whirrs and beeps that followed told her everything was set up. She touched the screen in the centre of the cockpit and the whole inside of the ship lit up with lights. The shutter closed over her head with a hiss, sealing the pressure. She touched the button to release the plasma safeties and the engines hummed into life. The thin shaking would subside once they had made it into the air. Opening the comm channel, she checked the readiness of the three wing captains and set up a direct line with them all. It was time._

_A loud synchronised tone filled the air as the ships took off from the ground and began a steady climb into the sky. They adopted a simple formation in the air and moved to the south, towards the cluster of enemy bases._

_“You’re not gonna like this Commander. We just picked up a pack of banshees ahead of us.”_

_Barriss groaned, they’d almost reached their first set of coordinates without running into any of the deadly predators that swarmed the skies of this planet._

_“Very well Captain Halter, you have permission to break your wing off to distract and repel them, whilst I take the rest of the squadron onwards. If we’re lucky you should be able to deal with them swiftly and join us again before the bombing run begins.”_

_“Understood Commander. And I thought the Seppies were annoying…”_

_Barriss smiled and banked to the right, her manoeuvre matched by most of the other aircraft. Halter’s Headhunter, streaked with custom blue paint, continued straight into the path of the glowing green creatures._

_Cold fire and determination built as they neared the first target. The Separatists knew they were coming and the shrill blare of alarm rang out across the valley as they moved in close. Enemy fighters span up and anti-air cannons blasted away, and before long the sky is like a canvas smeared with light and smoke. To her right, a ball of fire plummets from the sky, too shrouded in shadow to see if it was friend or foe. Barriss adds it to her mental tally of men lost under her command, just in case. She started keeping the list on her very first mission. Something about the Geonosis heat beating across her back and the sticky blood congealing on her hands as that unfortunate clone died in her arms had made her want to remember. That was when she truly realised it would be a war, that these were real people dying under her orders. The vow made then, to be stronger, better, smarter, stuck with her, and often carried her along even when the anxious darkness wrapped its long tendrils and constricted her brain._

_This first base, the most heavily defended, was tough to pierce, but an hour of plasma shot and shrieking cries of metal being torn apart from impossibly hot bomb blasts left it in ruins. Battle droids still scattered the ground but they weren’t her problem. Let Krell and the others clean them up when they advanced through the hillsides._

_The next target on her list, close enough that a refuel wasn't necessary, loomed in the distance, but this one was shrouded and lacked the telltale blinking of a robotic-led installation. An Umbaran base, then, or at the very least mixed._

_It took her a while to realise that Halter's contingent hadn't yet returned, but when she does her first emotion isn't panic. She calmly picked up her radio and gave them a ping, fully expecting to be answered with crackling codes and familiar voices._

_But instead all she heard was static. That's when the dread started its slow seep. Quickly, she evaluated the rest of her forces, ticking them off against a list in her mind. Most of her bombers were still intact, but their fighter escorts hadn't been so lucky. If the Umbarans had any substantial levels of air support, they wouldn't make it. She almost gave the order to retreat, the logic made an undeniable argument. But then she thought of the look on Master Unduli's face, Master Kenobi's face…Ahsoka's face, when she tells them she failed her mission. She could not,_ would not _be the cause of that level of disappointment._

_So Barriss grit her teeth, gave the order to attack. What was the worst that could happen?_

_That’s when a group of banshees emerged at full speed from the clouds and slammed into her lead bomber. They were a terrifying force of teeth and fury, taking large bites straight through the reinforced durasteel, and it started to crash in a matter of seconds._

_Turning into a roll, she pivoted her Headhunter away from the beasts, and off to the side. That's when she saw the second banshee swarm hurtling towards her from below. Another roll and she narrowly avoided crashing into the hulking mass of insectoids._

_Individually the banshees, despite their size, were not overly strong or well armoured. If she could just get enough shots off, it would most likely tear straight through them. Her stomach dropped and her skin buzzed as the sensation of hand on metal on glove sent a sickly shiver rushing through her veins and she let her cannons loose._

_Three fell from the sky surrounded fragments of half melted chitin glowing a molten orange, like a shower of burnt out firework remnants. The swarm scattered and she gave chase, picking off as many as she could find, methodically reducing their numbers one by one._

_Despite everything, she found a frantic excitement dancing along the webbed lines of her nerves. For one brilliant moment of hope, she imagined it would be OK, the squadrons would make it through this nightmare, her along with them._

_It seemed likely, even, until two banshees separated from their pack to land on her right wing, latching their mandibles deep into the durasteel of her ship._

_On instinct she let off a volley of Force soaked energy in their direction with a snap of her hand, and the two banshees flew away as easily as dust blown from a page. The problem came when the wing went tumbling with them, arcing in great loops of complicated aerodynamics toward the unseen ground. Her ship banked with nauseous speed in the direction of her still intact wing and carried the momentum into a death spin as the engines faltered. Desperate, she reached out and pulled at the emergency release, but her cockpit filled with sparks and the lick of flames, an upsettingly alien development in what had always been such a calm environment, even in the midst of battle._

_“R7” she cried, her words burning against her throat as they escaped through sooty air. The ground rushed towards her and she felt the latch drop at last, the cockpit finally falling open. Without thought she launched her body as far away as the Force would let her, and the dark rushed up to greet her, her vision blinded by the shock of flesh and bone against rock and compact soil._

__

_****_

—

_****_

__****

_Darkness. As always it returned. How Barriss hated the dark, the skin crawling nature of it concealing all threats and obfuscating clarity. She needed to know her surroundings and this abhorrent quirk of nature robbed her of that._

_A violent cough exploded from her chest. The ashy clouds in the surrounding air pervaded her sinuses and slithered down her throat. Thin cylinders of smoke wound across from their fiery source, the engine of her now ruined Headhunter only a couple of meters away, and sucked up as her respiratory system scrambled to breathe._

_Gracelessly she fell to the dirt and began to crawl on her stomach as far from the wreckage as she could, but not before taking another lungful of smoke._

_Then she heard a noise. Or thought she did. Actually she hadn’t stopped hearing noise, her eardrums throbbed with aftershocks from the impossibly loud explosion at the point of impact. But this was something different. Unable to hear it clearly, her mind she imagined it to be the echo of a battle droid's voice synthesizer, that whining species-less drawl distorted through her ringing ears somewhere in front of her._

_In her head, she screamed at herself to get up, to fight. If she was going to die, it would be making Master Unduli proud, and not execution by battle droid of all things, especially not whilst also asphyxiating alone in the dark on a miserable heap of rock._

_Something pulled at her and she lashed out, her lightsaber flying to her hand in an instant. She swung, and slashed, and screamed through the obscurant haze of dark smoke, the tactile impact confirming she wasn't in combat with hallucinations. She could see nothing except her own lightsaber and vague pinpricks of red in the dark and did not stop until they had gone, all of them._

_Mucus built in her throat when she stood, heaving from the exertion of defending herself. She expelled it to the ground and her legs crumpled in front of her. She still felt something in the air, yet more movement beyond her muggy vision in the Force, confused and blurred visages that formed and dissipated around her in a constant kaleidoscope of sensation. She begged her body to respond, to give it one more try, to just live a little longer._

_A hand grabbed roughly at her shoulder, and the excruciating pain of broken bone sprang to greet it eagerly. The sharp slap to the system jolted Barriss into movement, and with a grunt of pain forced out of her lips, she brought her lightsaber in a wide circle behind her. It was slow and obvious but the best she could manage._

_Something stopped her from trying again. A crackling in her earpiece, distant and indistinct, but the voice that came from the other side was sweeter than any nectar. Halter._

_“Commander! It’s me!” And then she realised he was the shape in front of her, the white of his armour so obscured by the smog it was a wonder she could see him at all. Her lightsaber dropped straight from her hand to the floor and her arm dangled useless at her side. She didn’t have the energy to stand anymore, let alone hold a blade aloft._

_Halter prevented her from yet another fall to the ground, lifting her under the arms and easily supporting her against his body._

_Tears streaked her cheeks, carving lines in the dirt and soot that caked her face. A detached sense of confusion presented itself at that, she never cried anymore and certainly never in public._

__How embarrassing. __

_Halter was talking still but the words flowed away from her and pooled off in some unreachable reservoir just outside her mind’s grasp. But she still noticed when he stopped, when he stood stock still, and the clones around them, his squadron, did too._

_"What…what happened here?"_

_That’s when she saw the bodies._

_The smell of them was muted and numb, covered up by the rolling stench of barbecued ship, but she saw them plainly enough. There were dozens, scattered limbs charred black by plasma fire and lightsaber strike. The luminescent plants broke through the ever presence of murk and left stark outlines of broken bodies and mangled flesh. Among the dead, the droids she had been destroying were nowhere to be seen. Where are the droids? They were meant to be fighting…_

_One of the bodies was a child, a thin, scraggly little thing, mouth twisted in a bloody slash. There were more. More...children. Adults too, but…_

__Oh Force, no. __

__

_****_

—

_****_

__****

__

"No." Ahsoka heard the murmur flutter up from her friend's lips, a faint thing that barely registered as speech. More follow it, in a broken line of ghostly syllables.

"I'm…sorry. Please…bring them…back...I'm so…sorry…"

"Shh, nearly there, just hang on Barriss."

Ahsoka carried Barriss as fast as she could through the back alleys and makeshift corridors, the blood squelching through her fingers as it seeped out of the tunic.

She carefully propped Barriss against a wall and banged on the door, an unassuming slab of grey shielding the address Luminara had given them. She pounded again, and felt the urge to scream out. They were so close, this couldn't be it, there had to be someone there.

The grey slid away and in the frame stood a tall woman, delicately draped in long black robes and a simple headdress of mottled silver and white. Mirialan tattoos, far more than Luminara and Barriss combined dotted across her hands and face. The woman gasped out in shock as she took in Barriss' crumpled form.

"Please, Master Unduli- she said you can help us…please help us."

The stare she received in return sliced to her bones, but a small nod followed behind it, and the woman helped them inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear :(
> 
> Next time, Barriss recovers, and has a little heart to heart with Ahsoka


End file.
